Legion of Doom aka the Road Warriors Need To ReUnite

Everything that has happened has reminded me I miss my fellow Road Warrior. We honestly need to hang out more. I know she said that she wished I lived in houston or closer. But yeah, I hate the fucking heat in texas.

We need some more adventures. More chapters written in our Life Unscripted novels. I know she got her man and they are fighting that bf/gf feeling even though it has already happened. But the beauty of the road warriors is that no matter who we are with the adventures are always PRICELESS!

She is off on the cabin trip in the tennesee mountains again. This time with her volatile gf with her. No need for me to go and make sure she was alright this time. Hopefully there won't be a story about her gf and peaches getting into it. But anything can happen. I am dissapointed I won't be there to be entertained by Ru. I mean the shit she does and their reactions to her being a fucking sex beast is the best.  Then again nothing will ever top her kicking the porn guy in the head by accident and seeing the little cartoon birdies flying around his head afterwards. He got the Ru Ru stunner special. Great fuck and suck along with a mind altering kick to the head. lmfao still each time I remember that.
he
But I know I have to do better and get up with her. The Road Warriors will never die!


oooooooo What a Rush!!!!

As the World Turns...*satire*

*smdh...yeah*

So as shit continues this week. I have run the gamut of it all this week apparently.

The thing that went down earlier this week and lapse in my personal infosec.

Being asked if I compromise. My response is hell no unless you are one of the rare chosen worthy. Current occupancy = 1

My lack of conformity is a daunting issue apparently.

This week's theme has been natural disasters. And they have come wave after wave. Even overlapping. 

On top of that, the movie american ultra was some hot, steaming, bullshit garbage. They should have paid people to have their eyes destroyed watching that shit.

Transporter refueled was weird without jason statham. So I don't know what the hell to think about it at all. Just weird and not really in a good way.

Things are not easy in bdsm or this D/s dynamic. Hell fucking dating at all. But when I say what I want and is important to me then that is set in stone until it is changed due to something big and apparent. Right now it is rocky as hell. But the learning has happened. Now the healing, growth and education must occur and move forward. 

FUCK THE ENEMIES

It is time for a Death Star strike!!!

Apocalypse Now

This week has been more than crazy.

I am still in disbelief that I allowed myself to let something seep from my vault. It was shaming ro have emotion come out. And I paid the price for it.

As I talked to Ru before she left to fly to atl for the yearly cabin trip. I was reminded how far off rrackbi had gone.  I honestly allowed emotion and feeling into the fray.

I had dropped thise rhings in the well back in november of last year. There wasn't a need for feelings and emotions.  No place for them. And that allowed me to not be concernwd about the future or anything. Whatever happenwd, happened and I felt nothing.

But I let the defense slip. I was using the old ways to fet my comfort and peace. Those days are dead. So there I no longer can find that comfort and peace that I would in Lil Red like I had in Chocolate Doll or hanging with Ru. She can't fulfill that for me right now or maybe never.

It can be said that I need outlet and more control for this. But things are well under hand. There will not be any more feeling or emotion unless it is shared with Ru Ru and that is it. My quarantine is back in effect.

The damage has been done. There is nothing that can be said by that. It merely makes me fortify and strengthen the fortress even more.

The assualt upon me continues. As my anger, rage and apathy grow to ultimate proportions.  I feel the disconnect more and more.

I am just me. The darkness. The solitude. The void.

I am the evidence of my names!!

Perplexity Upon the Wings of the Damned

This morning came with a heavy heart and price. A feeling that I never have come in contact with.

Fear.

It manifested and happened and I was lost in it. I have faced death and died many times already. Never have I come to this point before.

This morning in this moment of weakness I acted upon it. Even though I knew what was said, felt and read. I still allowed my mind to go off the deep end.

There are no excuses. Merely my stunned since of self and apology.

Fear gripped me. Through the haze of disbelief. As I sought the one thing that I wanted. The prize that I have been reaching for. I fucked up. I became so deeply consumed in the rabbit hole that I blew myself up in it.

I sit here, still in shock. Still upset that my mind thought and expressed those feelings and thoughts.

I think I need a few drinks right now to handle things.

*descending to the bottom of the san andreas trench*

I Walk Alone

After a year of growth, learning and adventures. I have arrived at this point. Changed but strengthened in how I use to be. As I embrace the enigmatic silence and darkness again.

I am angry and enraged. My ABM is on a Class 1000 level. I am not angry at her or her. I am angry at myself for allowing the nice and stupid part of me to show up. They are doing merely what they are programmed to and want.

In this year:

A female that I loved and closed to showed me her jealousy, contempt and reckless abandon for the relationship that I thought we had cultivated over the years.  Lying to me over and over again while playing these possess me games.

The female I got that one of a kind of connect with has been doing her best to distance herself from me. From the comments and discussions about how about getting with this or that chick and all that other stuff. I realized what I had analyzed had come to fuition.

A female that I knew for years that I have never been in her house. Met her child and seen her mother. And got upset at me about something she never spoke about. I guess the monkey bitches she became friends with and her personalities couldn't allow her to think clearly. But I found it laughable when she said I love you. Yeah, I can totally believe that. lmfao

I have battled and been buried under shit with the parental units. And the ways that I deal with the stress and find peace, were denied to me. Because they weren't accepted, received or understood. I learned that peace is dead to me.

Sooo....

In these last couple of days I had to really think and come to terms with things.

• The thoughts I had about relations and their possible outcomes was on point
• bdsm relation wise is probably not feasible for me
• Things will be relegated to mere moments in time. No future. No meaning.
• I will continue to learn and experience things. Simply because of what I am.
• There is a closed vault on "giving a damn."
• Constant thinking, analyzing and evaluating saved me. Kept me from flipping out.
• won't be doing this again

I have always walked and journeyed alone. Even with Ru by my side. She knows that I won't drag her down with me or come to her unless it is dire. Though she will fuss and we will fight. She knows I just won't use her like that. Plus I want her focused on her new relationship so maybe I can see her get married again before I die.

I took a chance. Made myself vulnerable. Sought to have what I needed. A wife, sub, intelligent, adventurous and rare type. I made the mistakes and I will live with them. I can't change the past. merely vault them with the rest and my heart and soul.

Just like every hourly battle that presents itself. Every obstacle that stays in my path. I will continue to do it alone. On my own. 

I continue this walk and journey.

ALONE

The Boob Tube Season Endings

I am definitely ready for this month to kick off new seasons and new shows to watch. Because now that most of the shows I watched have ended. I need something to watch.

I am looking forward to the new Daredevil season and the new Heroes Reborn. Some things to grab my super hero nerd in me.

Until then let's recap:

Forged in Fire: A show about forging ancient and your own take on weapons. Most everyone on the show is or was a blacksmith. You would have to be to work the metal and create using the tools and furnaces. This is the type of reality show that I like. Plus it has weapons. Win/win situation for me obviously. I am looking forward to the next season.

Hannibal: I love the character but I don't know what the hell they had going on with the show after the first season to be honest. This last and final season I watched a few episodes and I was let down more and more as time went on. It was cerebral but it was convoluted. The plot was too much to keep your interest.

Killjoys: A nice, new sci fi show. I enjoyed it. The little exotic looking girl that is the head bounty hunter is a sexy little number. It has the guy that played jimmy olsen on smallville. It can be cheesy but the tech and shooting keep my attention.

Defiance: I am really hating how the show ended. I am like damn the omak are all fucked up and then nolan is being shot out in space. Arissa is left on earth to do some mother earth shit. She has been really fucking annoying since the fact that she killed everyone in the previous season to save the earth. This really sucked ass with an ending.

The Last Ship:  They have fought everyone. Gotten attacked a few times and hurt this season. they actually had a ship vs sub battle. That was cool. We got to know the crew a lot more. I am still shocked at how many crew members they killed off on the episode where the civilians attacked the oil rig. And then they end it with the doctor getting shot. Is this payback for her role in killing the cure starter or what? Either way to come all this way and plant the new president in st louis to end up getting shot by a bum sucks.

Lip Sync Battle: They had some funny moments on there. From mike tyson vs terry crewes. To deion sanders on there in a dress and carrying on. I especially love the salt vs pepa episode. Well that is obvious because I want to fuck both of them to death at the same time. Some thick sexy fuckable bodies. Beat them and make my sex slaves. Back to the topic. the finale with taraji p henson, who I want to make a fucking sever sex slave as well. And make her cum until she can't cum no more and folds up into a wormhole. And it was her vs terrence howard. that was some classic funny shit. plus mary j came on with taraji. At least mary j doesn't look like a complete fucked up crack head anymore. It was interesting watching them perform. And definitely funny

I am sure I am missing some but I will mention them next time.

Just Fucking Poetry: My Evolving Predicament

Expression, meaning, reality and understanding. Lead the pen to ink what needs to be.

My Evolving Predicament

I seized the moment

Answered the call of

That feeling and vibe

The one I cannot deny

I fell

I fell hard

Allowed true love

Again

My deepest, darkest

Sin

I looked into your eyes

Your soul said

Rescue me

We are just right

Realization came

Combative strife

At first I denied

Then I merely applied

Gave into the future

Body and mind

The questions appeared

Like the Riddler they said

Riddle me this

I held on tight

To the miracle that was supposed to

Be mine

Another Soul Mate

Built specifically for me

By design

A war ensued

One of mental design

The battles came

Love, feeling and emotions

Relegated to the vault

That I keep inside

Through it all

The desire and future that I claimed

Remained prevalent in my mind

The Holy Grail that I held already

I just needed to make it to the finish line

Until the day came

To realize

Understand

This was the Last Ride

From the chocolatezeus collection  9/7/15  ©

The Comedy of Relationships

They are supposed to be a union. A joining of people in bonded interest.

Funny.

As I listen and observe I have seen their intent or lack of interest in it.

DO NOT talk to me about relationships. As if they serve a purpose or meaning to you. Like the other drones. it does not exist. That is fine. Message assimilated. I understand your commitment.

Truth is that 99 percent merely want the moment. That feeling and aspect that makes them feel like something. Like a fix though once it is received, afterwards there is NOTHING.

So here is a tip. Instead of saying that you had a relationship or relationships. Just say that you had a moment or moments. That way the meaning is perfect and proper content.

I once gave into the need for these relationships. The things that held a deeper meaning of the fabric of existence. But I learned, grew and aged. Had the truth revealed to me over and over again. It took me a while, but I finally got it.

Treat them like they want to be treated is the only solution.

So let's just have happy moments as we live. Anything more is a joke and a misrepresentative of how things truly are.

Yes, back to the old school ways again! The tried and true proven techniques that always win.

Old School Poetry: Why Z Marks The Spot

Because I just don't Give a Fuck!!

Z Marks The Spot

You lick your lips in thought

Remembering what Chocolatezeus did to you

Your body and heart swollen from his work

Remembering his deep passionate kiss

Sizzling your fingertips

Making your toe nails curl inward

Stunning you

Making you look bewildered and wanton

Making you think

Damn did he just do that to me

Bent over the seat

Saying damn

Are you fucking me

What the hell are you doing to me

More moans and screams

As I stroke your insides till

You explode and drip thick cream

Head bobbing

Hand stroking

You have my phatty in your mouth

Moaning around the chocolate goodie

Making me explode nice and deep

As you moan

Oh its so sweet

Stroking your camel print

In the middle of the store

Aisle number 10

Making and keeping you

Nice and wet

Thinking of what Z will do to you

Later then

Fucking you in front of your girlfriend

So she can be jealous

Of you getting dicked down well and shit

All she hears is the

Wet sounds of repeated entry

Wanting to join in

Yet being the scared bitch that she is

She sits and stews in her own cream

She talked all that shit

About only her lesbian lover can make her

Cum and scream

Mouth running until I tell her

To shut the fuck up and take this tongue beating

Her body exploding cumming everywhere

Not only ate her pussy but

Fucked the shit out of her

Didn't even cum

When I kicked her off the bed

Told her

NOW WHAT

Driving down the road

Talking shit

Your wet playing with the kitty kat

I tell you fuck that

Bury my fingers all up to the third knuckle in that

Penetrating again and again

Watching your squirt all over the dash

Continuing for 35 miles

You are drained lost and confused

Parking you don't know what to do

As I leave you there to gain your sense for a moment or two

Now you see why

Z marks the muthafuckin spot

*mic drop*

from the Chocolatezeus collection 7/8/07 ©

Today: My After Image

This morning, I walked into the minefield and detonated!

This morning I realized impossible is IMPOSSIBLE!

I gave hope and keeping the faith a try. Amended and created the Representative for the humans.


Regardless of the misinformation. I am not all teddy bear like, warm and cuddly or even care most of the time. I have heard that shit most of my life. And still it won't apply.

In my life there has only be one other time I felt that vibe. That knowledge that this was the one and the right time. So when it happened, I was more than skeptical. I was denying. But, I gave it the boy scout try. Only to find out it has and application like a L.A.W.  One shot, disposable ordinance. And it hit it's mark true to the prime.

I realized that what I wanted was the equivalent of winning the lottery within a pool of lottery winners, inside another pool of lottery winning. I wanted it all. The wife, submissive, adventurer, super freak and all. I was dumb enough to think this was a viable option. Just blind, dumb and ignorant of me.

Today reinforced the reasons why I analyze, ask questions and my brain won't stop thinking. To prepare myself for these things. So regardless of the realization. I will be able to return to the being that I am. The analyzed possibilities became a reality. One that I am not happy about, nor did I want to be. But here it is in full effect. The bombing run happened. And I got hit.

Wow! Is all I can still say. Even after all the thinking that this would happen.

The Borg always say, "Resistence is Futile!"

WELL FOR ME RESISTENCE IS THE TRUTH AND THE ONLY WAY!!!!!!!!

Spoken Realism: Entrance of the Master Chief

Entrance of the Master Chief

Armor reconnect

Armed and Dangerous

Apathy in effect

Encased inside

The cold nothingness

Remnants of a dead attempt

Finally squashed

No emotional rebellion

Pure scorched earth policy

I am to blame for

Allowing the armor to be

Removed anyway

Mere reflection

Reflecting the difference

Why there are humans

And there there is

Me

Back to my

Legendary

Murderous

Killing sprees

From the chocolatezeus collection  9/7/15   ©

Wow Affect

I hear
Feel the
Ticking

Disbelief
Even though
I felt this happening
Still I am
Flabbergasted

Is this testing me
A resolve
Path
Dedication even

Only to remember
The dead core inside
Reminded of
The Last Ride

Looking
Remembering

Fleeting
Thoughts
Feelings

Conclusion
Received

The core
The volume
The meaning

Empty


From the chocolatezeus collection 9/7/15 (c)

From A to Z and Back Again...Part Deux

Continued...

To recap we were talking about relationships and marriage.

As always I found out it is not normal to be decisive and make moves when dating or marrying someone. They talked about how long they dated before considering anything. And here I come. Get married after dating a year and I am happy and ready to go. And I don't have the horror stories that others have after 2 weeks or 4 months.

I am the man that sees what he wants and needs and moves forward with it. I don't hold back and I have a deficit in patience.  But as I told the younger cousin you have to adjust to being with who you are with. And the adjustment can be super crazy. I find my woman and I am focused. I just want her to be focused as well.

Relationships and marriage are about coming together to weather the storms that you encounter. About enjoying the good times and making unbelievable memories. And it is some serious fucking work doing it. Hell I almost got a divorce before I was married the first time.

I am an evil 40 something old man that still believes in love and soul mates. While walking the minefields of society through the tripwires of conformity and social aspects. I am in a hole within a deficit from the beginning.

Now this part wasn't expounded on with the cousins. But what I want is like a super long shot. To have the woman that is wife, my submissive, super freak, intelligent, loving, caring, focused and adaptable to start with. I took the lottery and made it a lot harder for myself. I was told I need to be patient. I know. I heard her but damn it.

Dating fucking sucks because I hate playing games with the humans. But it was necessary to achieve something that I have wanted.

I will end with the funny story of. they were asking about what crazy times we have lost it in the past. I use to live in east chicago indiana and had an ex in gary indiana. Her bitch ass baby daddy didn't like me because I did what he was supposed to be doing. Taking care of the kids. So I came over to her house to wash clothes. I am sitting in the kitchen naked on the computer. Bitch ass gets the key from her mother's house next door and comes in and attacks me. So I beat his ass back out the door. Telling he must be here to suck my dick. He gets out the door and the police are outside. I don't know who called them. Telling me to go back in the house and put some clothes on. i am like fuck you and your late ass. Then the guys from work that my ex had to come handle me got there and I was still pissed off. They were like you are fucking crazy as hell.  The cousins had a damn good chuckle at this. they always talk about how super crazy I am.

I still have a tiny bit of hope. But damn I get tired of fighting at times.


Well, that's all folks! At least for this hour

A Little Bedtime Story

Bedroom Invasion

"Damn I am tired" I exclaimed.  As we head to the bed I watch your ass bouncing and move with its chocolatey goodness.   A soft smile upon my face.  Saying goodnight to your girlfriend, I leave you in the hallway with her to talk.  

After a shower and you coming to the bedroom I mess with you playfully at first.  Thinking to myself that you look so sexy next to me.   As you lay across my chest we talk about the day.  How much fun we had and the episodes at the bar.  I am listening but your body's calling me.  

My arm around you as you lay facing the opposite way.  Your booty nestled up against me as I find one of your thick nipples to play with.   The soft twist and turn of my finger tips as I rub and caress the nipple's very tip.  I enjoy the soft moan's that escape your lips.  
As we spoon my arousal most evident.  You reach around to caress the hardness, feeling the throbbing of the dick.  The response to your presence making my body's fire be most evident. Your tired and I know it but I can't help this yearning, dammit.   As you curl up and tell me that you are weary, I rub your back and booty to try and soothe my aches.  Damn, I will have to wake you up late in the middle of your sleep at least to get what I need.   Holding you closely I give in to my sleep.

Startled I woke up to the doors opening creak,  Thinking to myself to jump up and put in work on this intruder.   Reaching under the pillow to grab the tool I lay in wait for what is in store.  Eyes open yet seemingly closed I watch as my girl's friend come walking in.  

She looked at me naked as her hand touched her breast, walking towards my side of the bed.  Letting go of the gun under the pillows I turn to say something to be greeted by her hand gripping my dick and slowly beginning to stroke it.   Her other hand came to silence my lips.  

She whispered, "Don't say a word. I need you tonight.  I want to feel what my gurl feels on a regular."   I look a bit confused trying to figure out why she would do this with my woman laying right there next to me.  My mind was frozen as you knelt and took my dick into her mouth.   Letting me feel the swirling sensations of her tongue along my shaft.  I felt my dick stiffening really, really fast.   My heart beating as I try to mask the shock, awe and pleasure that I am having.  I shouldn't be doing this.  Couldn't deny I wanted her girl's ass.

My face contorted in those strange sex faces, she looks up and smiles at her handiwork. Still holding on to my shaft.   She climbs on top me, straddling me.  Guiding my hardness inside of her as she settles in to ride.  "I want to see your face when you cum," she says.   We will see is my own response as she begins her slow grind.  Moving nice and slow long strokes up and down. It's like she knew how I liked it, damn.   The slow figure eights began as she worked me fully.  My hands cupping her breasts as I suck on her nipples.  My tongue caressing each millimeter as my lips suck them wetly.

I can see the pleasure in her.  Her body gaining the soft little beads of sweat from her work.   She continues her slow ride, still trying to hide that volcanic eruption building inside. My head disappearing and reappearing inside of that luscious chocolate pie.   Meeting her ride with thrusts of my own.  Now her eyes close as she bites her lip with a grown.  Feeling her wet juices explode and run all over my fire hose.   Her breathing labored as she continues her ride. 

Feeling a sudden gripping with each up stroke. My time has cum.  Opening my eyes to see a sly grin that she knows that I am about done.   Milking me well I feel my head go to its final swell.  The blood rush bubbling up out of its well.  The colors flash as my body spasms.   The splash, splash, splash of my cum inside of her has me on a wave of excstasy.   She keeps her squeezing strokes going, draining me fully.   Keeping me there on that pleasure cloud.

Slowly I regain my composure.  Thinking, "Damn I didn't' want to cum."   She leans forward to kiss my lips fully.

Only to hear, "I taught her well.  Didn't I baby?"  Followed by my woman's laughter as she rolls over against me. 

Got your difficult ass her only words as I laugh and she snuggles close to me.  All of us laughing now.

From the Chocolatezeus collection 9/09/06 ©

Erotica from the Vault: Boat Rides Make You Happy

We decided to take a boat ride.  So we booked a dinner cruise for two. 

 

Me dressed in a nice linen suit and you in a plunging top and short skirt.  As we walk up the boarding ramp to the boat my hand cups your ass and you smile and whisper "Stop that."  I merely grab some more before we turn and head into the dining area. 

 

As we are seated we feel the boat push away from the dock.  Heading out to the open water.  We talk and laugh but my mind is elsewhere.  Thinking *damn you look so delicious*.  The other couple leaves us at our table as I move close to you.

 

Without warning my hand massages your thigh.  Reaching between that soft luscious flesh to feel your heat.  My fingers playing with the thin material of your thong.  You tell me to behave but I won't.  I am going to make this boat ride a memorable one.  My fingers sliding aside fabric to massage your lips.  Finding that budding pleasure center extended so quickly from all the stimulation. My fingers pressed between the lips, massaging up and down.  Slowly circling inside before caressing your clit in figure eight strokes.  Your breath quickens.  You want me to stop but the pleasure feels so good.  Only your lust for me is the focus now. I feel your wetness flowing freely now.  Eyes attempt to focus and not close.  Then focused pleasure gaining momentum as you grind against my fingers slowly.  Feeling the first of your muscle contractions I slide my fingers in you.  To find your spot.  You knwo what is next.  You know you will squirt all over my hand, the seat and the floor.  Grabbing my hand you try to get me to stop, but I continue.  As I feel your body convulse at the brink of squirting I pull myhand out as you gasp for air.  Trying to regain composure.

 

"Bastard!" you say to me.  I merely adjust my throbbing hardness, kiss you and grab your hand.  Pulling you behind me we head out to the stern of the ship.  As we stand against the rail kissing your hand strokes my hardness.  Feeling it in your hand you coo softly into my ear.  Whispering "damn too bad we can't handle this now."  I don't speak as I turn you around.  Reaching up under your skirt to pull your thong to the side.  Unleashing my hardness, you feel me against your soft ass.  Then the entrance that makes you turn around and look at me in shock.  Not here you say....I merely begin slow deep strokes.  You pressed against the railing and me against you holding you tightly as our bodies begin to drip together.   Cupping your breasts our breathing joins one another.  We are in the zone.  The waves come fast and furious.  We both are on the verge of explosion.  I won't stop it. I don't care.  The pumping continues with my hardness convulsing as my seed engulfs your insides.  You feel the warmth as your muscles grip me and hold me tightly to each stroke.  Our cum running down the insides of your thighs.  We slow down enough to look into each others face and kiss.

 

In a moaning sound you ask.... "whats next?"

 

 

ok your turn 

Yesterday's Gauntlet: From A to Z and Back Again

This will probably be long. But there is a lot of ground to cover. So strap in and keep your hands inside the car at all times.

The relatives and others have been in town this weekend. Mostly for the aunts retirement celebration and people could come because it was a holiday weekend.

Myra, who works at my cigar shop decides to tell me about what happened with her and now ex fiancee. About how he got drunk and beat up on her and choked her. Which is serious considering he was a boxer and works out all the time. But I did have to look at her side ways when she said that they both stopped drinking last year because of how violent he gets when he drinks and she can't stop drinking. As I looked her in the face and told her you are grown woman and you can do what you choose, I had to shake my head in response to her still being with him after that and all the complaints she had that he doesn't do anything and his kid stealing her money and stuff. She is tall and pretty. And I love that she smokes cigars. But lawd, just say no to the insanity.

I have been watching the last season of Boston Legal and there were some emotional responses from the abortion and having children episode. I didn't realize it would set the tone later on for another discussion.

I was the black sheep walking into the retirement party friday. And the anamoly showing up at the activity center at the family church.

But things really went interesting sitting around with the cousins and one of my cousin's wife. We talked about relationships, communication and marriage. Specifically because the younger cousin is getting dragged through stupidity because of a money grubbing chick he had a baby with. He showed the videos of him with his son playing and teaching. it is a shame that he is being damaged and charges thrown at him when he is doing more with his son than people that live around their child all day long do.

So it was asked about the break down in communication. The cause and the reasoning. There are so many answers in that. Reality is that you can communicate as much as you can. But if your recipient doesn't want to communicate or can then you run into a dead end. I have been straight forward about my communication and have been shunned, they cringed and ran away because of that.

Then there was the talk about marriage. The oldest cousin and his wife were the only ones that are currently married. Me and the other cousin were married.

Marriage is important still to a few of us on the planet. It is a journey of united chaos. There are disagreements and fights but those things do not stop you from having a loving relationship together.

For me it is that vibe and connection that begins the desire and reason behind being with someone, letting them in and being vulnerable to them. It is the fact that I can see you as a woman and not just a female. That you can provide me the things that I need and we can be together to eternity.

As I told them I hate dating with a fervor. I miss being married. Which led to them asking me if I would get married again. The answer is yes. And I got that miracle vibe one more time. Shocking to me but simply true.

to be continued....

Manhood Prime

There are always millions of thoughts on being a man. But i am going to merely lay out mine. Because, the things I have heard and seen have been mind boggling to say the least.

A man must mature and come to terms with himself. Knowing yourself and continuing to learn about your self  as time floats on is necessity.

Principles. You have to have things like:

• duty
• honor
• drive
• conqueror
• dedication
• focus

Regardless of how much others (and the constantly will) want you to change to the way they think is so swell. Stand your ground and your principles. Change when it is the correct thing to do and furthers your journey. Not because the tree hugging, sensitive drones want you to.

I feel pain, just as I know happiness. As a man I manage, contain and use them appropriately. It is not for me to be some empath running around coddling everyone. As a man I show compassion and caring to humans. It takes strength to show the ones you care about feeling, strength and vulnerability. To the outside world there is only strength and coldness according to their station in relation to me.

I am not a man because each female I date and fuck are sexy as hell and wanted by both males and females.

I am not a man because of the thought that females and others have that I am supposed to fuck every pussy there is without hesitation.

I am a man because of my principles, honor and duty, my love and caring and I get it done no matter the opposition.

Being a man is severely difficult. That is why so many try and fail at it.

But being a man is the only way I am and will remain to be!!!