Poetic Memories: Cecidit in Memoris

Cecidit in Memoris

Two tears flow

Like the river Styx

As the stygian witches

Upon the shore

Wax poetic and sing

Hymns of eternity’s existence

She stands as my guardian angel

While haunting in pure devilment

Her promise before death

Kept

The floods of memories

That not even Noah can save me

From drowning in at times

Spill inexplicably

Through it all

I know what is lost to me

The grail that I had previously

My journey since

A question mark upon

Existing

Still I hold true to

What I promised before that fateful day

To continue on this journey

To live life fully

Just to be

Sitting upon this burning throne

Laced with damnating mercury

Soullessly I peer into the deep

Looking for the answers to

Manifest destiny

All I can say is that

Would have

Should have

Could have been

The battles rage

The carnage never ends

As I remain

One of the last of the two

Titans

From the chocolatezeus collection  4/2/16  ©

Cascading in an Emotionless Void

I am tickled that basically my emotions have become non existent. .Save for one person and one family member it is kind of like those rooms are dark and there are only two rooms with lights on in the house.

Rick, Myra and Rich are trying to get me to go to RX with them tomorrow. Since it is the 5th anniversary of my wife dying. And I feel it. I am not crippled by it or anything. I am not crying and weeping all over the place. I am reflective and my tolerance meter is on hairline infraction currently. But hey that is most of the time anyway with humans so that doesn't count.

I need to fuck the whole day to celebrate the anniversary but as usual that is not an option tomorrow. No marathon fucking or pain inflicting session.

Tomorrow will be a day to reflect, smoke, drink and eat.

oh, and avoid any contact with the parental units

The Beginning of an Emotional Weekend

It is strange. How life really connects the dots some times.

I have been going to my cigar shop for about 3 years now. And if you read any posts that I have mentioned the cigar shop life. It is like the show Cheers (look it up if you are too young to remember lol.)

So today is Monroe's last day at the shop. He is elderly and he has been a mainstay working at the shop for a long time. Well before I ever showed up in Wilmington. And he doesn't want to go but his health is not allowing him to continue working. That last fall where I had to help him get up was the nail in the coffin unfortunately. I helped them decorate a bit yesterday at the shop in preparation. It is just weird that it is happening after laughing and talking to Monroe about customers, wackadoodles, Myra's crazy episodes and more. And after today that is done.

Add to that the anniversary is Sunday. And for whatever reason I am feeling it. Things are just impacting me and I have to armor up but I don't feel like it. For whatever reason it has hit home this time more than it has in 3 years of the last 5 years.

Today is a cloudy cascade of memories and emotions.

Another Day in Life Unscripted

It has been some rough times lately. And some of them are still going on. But, hey things are what they are.

Laughter with Charlie the old school biker were on deck as usual. Always entertaining and exhilerating to sit up there and converse. That silent understanding of bad men makes it a stellar adventure.

My sadistic meter has gone beyond it's limit so when I can finally release it then I feel sorry for the subject. Nah, I don't feel sorry I am going to be ecstatic. I can't for that day. But I will have to.

I have been getting some eye candy and needed activities which definitely makes me happier and I get some satisfaction. I love the visual, mental and carnal activities.  Feed me and things will be good and I will keep interest. So yaayy me!

My Ru is fine after her surgery. Plans have been interrupted and redone.  I am glad about that.

Rich and Myra are doing better. They need it with everything they have been going on.

So things are going on and I am still around as the Undead Titan.

Hope you are doing well and seizing life.

I will continue the crazy adventures and my outlook on life the next time.

Till then enjoy.

Poetic Expression: Defectum Animi

Defectum Animi

Closed casket

No eulogy

Only the aftermath of what was

Or was it ever you ask yourself

The lightsaber that pierced your heart in love

Now the coldness of space in each of your atoms

The effect

You were scared of happening

The moment where memories fade

And your relevance dissipates

Fate

Action and inaction

Reaction

Led to this

But it is what is best for business

What you expect and need

To feel wanted and accepted

So I gift you

This nocturnal side of me

Where we believe the truth of

Excommunication

To be self evident

The purest love and passion

Now the iceberg that sunk the

Titanic

My heart remains

Honored and reverent

Only to the importance of my

Reverence

So I gift you this

Disconnect

This turned off

Switch

The coldness of the Arctic Circle

Cascading in orbit

The gift of

The release from

My emotional connection

From the chocolatezeus collection  3/27/16  ©

Poetic Eroticism: Coiled to Strike

Coiled to Strike

I can no longer remember

The sound of each impact upon your flesh

The contortion and twist of each

Plain infliction

I don’t remember you

With each moment passed

The funeral pyre grows higher

And your sacrifice to me

A deeper offering in

Pain, torture and submission

I don’t remember you

Sting and thud of floggers

The brutality of bamboo and cane

Slaps, cracks and thunder claps

As I choke even your last breath

Among tittie and nipple

Twists, pulls and slaps

I don’t remember you

Time for you to speak

For me to etch this suffering

Upon you and your flesh

My easel and canvas

I don’t remember you

Until your pain comes from the well of insanity

As I relish in each whelp, bruise and scar made

I fist you so deeply

Your cells scream my name

You will remember me

And remember the penalty you have to pay

For making me wait

From the chocolatezeus collection  3/27/16  ©