I Am Borg

Of course resistance is futile. But that applies to you not me. lol

Ok so the week has been one of a little bit of everything. From being lost in thought to thoughts being lost in thoughts.

Conversation with lil red has been interesting and informational collective. As kore would say we handle the not so glamorous or sexy part of D/s relationship. And there are times when it is a challenge and other times that it is not. The key is working through things, learning and moving forward. When that stops everything is DEAD!

Me and my overthinking self:

I have been bred and trained to constantly think. Think even when there is actually nothing immediate to think about. It is a good thing and a bad thing.  It is in overdrive especially when I feel that something or someone is important to me. I will want things to work out for the best. Think about possible, probabilities of outcomes and results. These things don't paralyze me. But I have witnessed how frustrating it is for others courtesy of lil red. I have done whatever crazy things I needed to achieve goals and the future. In this regard I am normally Gung Ho! With the way that things are recently and currently I have modified things so that it is better for this current operational theater. And even though it has been tweaked a number of times, it still evolves. What was, no longer is. And what could be, has disintegrated.

Expectations and anticipation:

I am asked what do I expect. And especially lately. Back in the day I had a list for each circumstance. Then I realized my expectations needed to be realistic finally. So my answer...I expect you to act, do and only be concerned about what you want and is of interest to you.  Point blank, if it is not important to you then you don't give a damn about it and you won't do anything about it.  When it comes to expectations they only apply to me, myself and I. Because those things I can believe in and understand without some mystical eye of cytorrak to help me. This doesn't mean I wouldn't like for things to happen in ways that I would like. It just means I am being realistic.

There were times where I was and have been giddy with anticipation. Chomping at the bit to reach a destination and be with someone that I cherished. It is an overwhelmingly powerful energy. And there is nothing wrong with it. Well for others, that is. *lol* I have had to temper that from existing within me. Apply a net mask over it and lessen it's imprint upon the world. I can look forward to something but more than that is simply not appropriate until there is a time that it is the right thing to do. (not holding my breath lol*

Well here we are at the weekend.
For me it is off to woodbridge for a play party. I look forward to hanging out and enjoying demos and speaking with fellow Doms So the halloween party will be tomorrow. Damn, I would love to hit the air and space museum while I was there in the morning.

Next week will be one of the occasions in the year I will get to see lil red. I look forward to enjoying her company, fucking her senseless and unleashing this altered sadistic rage upon her. It is most definitely needed. And with time and the full moon I will reach an all new level of pain infliction and over stimulation. And I want to enjoy the nerdy, geeky and quirky convos we have in person. Plus her signature smile with those eyes is one of those world wide mesmerizing things.

There is a full moon out and nobody is safe!

Interact at your own peril. But enjoy your weekend and have a nice day.



Follow my blog with Bloglovin

An Erotic Short Story: The Mood You Bring

In need and a lot horny. As I think about the things I want to do to lil red. I end up letting my mind be as devious as can be. But I couldn't post that here just yet. lol

The Mood You Bring

The rain came down slowly outside. I lead you naked to the deck. Rain drops fsll upon your bare skin.

I ask, Harley are you ready? You nod at me as my hand squeezes your throat. I guide you to sit down in the chair left there on the dick. Positioning you in a semi doggystyle position. Your titties resting over the back of the chair. Your cocoa ass raised prominently.  

I begin to tie you in that position. You want to shift and gift comfortable. As you feel the cold rain continue to hit your skin. Uncomfortable you remain, transposed like a piece of art.

I pinch and twist your nipples. Slapping them gradually harder. As my teeth bite into your skin. Only to be replaced by my hand smacking your wet ass. Each slap stings and heats your ass only to be cooled by the rain droplets.

I stand back to hit you with my new heavy flogger. Each thud striking you from the back to your ass. Beating you with the rhythm of my desire. You fall into your rhythmic gate. As I introduced the sting of paddle mixed with the cane. You are such a fucking slutty cunt to me. And today I will only consume you that way.

I feed my expression of pleasure through your pain. As we are lost in deep energy of our scene.

Flogger.

Paddle.

Cane.

Mixed with ass, face, titty and pussy slaps.

Your anticipation of each swing makes me laugh. You think you are slick. Trying to prepare for me. So I alternate hits. Hand then paddle. Cane then flogger. I feel the heat of your skin cascading off of you.

You like that you filthy cunt. Don't you? Your nod is all that you can manage. So I pull your head back by your hair and smack you hard in the face. Speaking you fucking bitch! Tell me you are a good, fucking cunt and love this shit! I only pull harder as you barely get it out.

As my dick presses in your hot pussy. You are soaking wet, both inside and out. I press slowly in your cunt. Making you grip it. Yes that is a good slut. Pulling harder on your head as your body is arched nice and awkward. Gripping your throat. I keep my slow strokes as your body explodes like the rain upon your skin. Your grunts make me squeeze your throat harder and harder. Cum you fucking whore! That is all that you are good for! Your grunts and spasms keep going.

I pull out and slide my dick in your ass. Your pussy is filled with my favorite dildo to use on you. The ridges pressed in you. All you can feel is me hot and hard in your ass with the dildo rubbing against my dick. Your screams feed me. I fuck your ass without mercy.  Only to hear the buzzing as the Hitachi rests on your clit. Your screams are all that are left. As I fuck you well after you pass out. Only to wake you again and fuck your mouth. Slamming mu dick in your throat making you gag and throat as I keep fucking your mouth over and over again.

I touch your face as I walk away.  That is my slutty ass, whore of a cunt.

From the chocolatezeus collection 10/28/15  ©

Yesterday Ended Up Being a Good Day

I didn't have the things I want and need obviously. No, lil red or travel to a foreign country.

But I had a good day none the less. My cigar shop adventure was blessed with Adam bring in a short barreled rifle that you can get away with being classified as a hand gun. Now that is perfect. He said I would like it and I did. Perfect for home defense. That is when I realized how many retired law enforcement, current law enforcement, retired fire fighters, bomb squad and swat members that frequent the shop. The last place you want to rob. it is like a revolving arsenal going on there. lol Adam was picking at me because I would be the one that rolls up to the shop in an M1 abrams tank if I could. Talking about I am late so who are we killing today.  LoL The adventures at the shop are priceless. I had my 8x80 JFR Lunatic and my big jug and enjoyed my cigar for 4 hours.

Tonight's laughing at Shorcake while remembering different episodes made me laugh. And of course how can you not laugh when she says that she knows that she is an asshole? lmao

Even the discussion with ranell about how stupid dating is, was enteraining. Even though she doesn't agree with too many things. After all she is a female. But dating is like fucking and not enjoying it at all most of the time. Females don't want to be out of their comfort zones and males have no choice but to take a leap of faith into the boiling witches cauldron. And the aspect of not wanting love, relationships or anything that may be seen as a focus or commitment is the norm for the modern age dating regime. So, either you play the game, fuck up everything or tell them "fuck you and all the bullshit that you claim."

Even a nap happened unexpectantly.

Some Gotham and Hell in a Cell to round out things. Yeah, I was entertained and asking wtf with things.

Well, now it is another day. I have written and posted a few things. Poetry, journal, blog entries and some other things.

I can say I was productive and still in shock about having a good day.

Sayonnara

Reminiscing and Laughter Is Good For The Insane

So I am sitting up here talking to Shortcake about things.

Hell, I forgot how much of an adventure we actually had back then in a short period of time from the people we were dating and all of us together.  All while I was with the thieving monkey bitch and she was with the male big booty judy. lol

I remember the four of us fucking in the adult theater on the top floor in the party room all to ourselves. Well, they fucked. Thieving monkey bitch was on her period so i got some head. Ate Shortcake and got head from her while thieving monkey bitch gave him head. And the infamous pole episode happened up there. Because there was a pole on the stage there along with couches all around the room and stuff with porn playing on a huge theater screen. But the pole episode was when they wanted both of us to get on the stage and dance on the pole. Yeah, the evil, insane, mean, motherfucker is not a bitch, so I didnt do that. But the male big booty judy did it. and they started talking about how round his ass was and smacking it. I was too through.

There was the times that the thieving monkey bitch would get rid of me and I would be going with Shortcake. (there seems to be a pattern with the monkeys when it comes to me) Hell, she reminded me how much I hung out with her or she hung out with me and the thieving monkey bitch. We have gone out eating, to the movies and all. lol damn same things I did with my fellow Road Warrior Ru Ru!  *snicker*

Cracking up at her saying that she is just an "asshole" lol. And yeah she always had a mouth on her and says whatever. It was always funny with her semi tall, no ass having self.

Hell, she was the one that started the outstanding fuck fest weekend while the chick dirty red that I was seeing was at the so called female retreat fucking. After telling me how I shouldn't be doing anything all weekend. Hell, she told me and didn't even know she was helping me out. *singing* That is what friends are for. That first night after I dropped the dirty red monkey bitch off at the hotel I went to go eat with ranell and then my secret lover at the time came over to the girl I was staying at house. I fucked her real well. She left with a limp and twist. Saturday I met a pregnant chick for the first time. I tried to fuck her and make her go into labor. She wanted me to stop eating and fucking her because it was too intense. I was enjoying fucking my first preggo girl too much. so I left there and went out to eat again with ranell. Then came back to the house and fucked secret lover again for longer this time until she passed out twice. Pretty good fucking sessions with her even without her having big enough titties and ass. She was good to go. But then again school principals and teachers are some freaky good fucks.

So we are talking it up and reminiscing about our last time at 4th Street deli when I came up there for my wife's 2nd funeral. Still can't believe it has been that long. I thought I saw her one of the times I was in atl after that.

Anyway an asshole and the insane evil bastard are on their way to make your brain shake and quake while you are left in dismay.

lol...I needed a good laugh amid all of this thinking and dealing that I have to do.

Spoken Essence: Pantheon of Perpetual Pontification

Pantheon of Perpetual Pontification

This journey I take

I walk alone

I am always alone

Love, anger, rage

They make, create, maintain

Me as this entity

Like Luke Skywalker

I am the nexus of both

The Light and the Dark

And their division

Is not that far apart

Recipient of the Ride of the Valkyries

The Archangel is me

As I fight the inevitable

That battle is

Me

Within this cauldron

Stirred potency

As I am stirred by destiny

Defecating on mentalities

Laying waste to conforming formalities

The bringer of chaos reigns

As I pull the reigns loose

Upon mentalities that are

Stained with petrified inability

Say hello the

Bad Guy

I will always remain

From the chocolatezeus collection  10/26/15  ©

Here Upon My Throne In Hell

As I sit here with my armor on. Bloody, battered and dented.

Listening to Hozier's "Take me to church," Which has a whole different meaning to me.

I have already called Ru Ru for recognition, reassurance.

Flecks of humankind flicker around me and die.

Ramifications of carnage and decomposition remind.

Alone here in solitary confinement.

I am an archangel. I cannot hide.

Into the void I stare.

rolling memories of good times.

Give purchase at the peripheral of my mind's sight

My eyes and soul. Wide open.

Yet dead inside.

Make if someone just shocks a flat line.

I snicker and laugh.

give into my expressionless sigh.

Looking up at everyone. I grin

It's time


*FLAT LINE*

As the Lava Flows

I have spent the last week deep within the heart of the erupting volcano.

The conversations and disagreements that have had to be had. The emotional out pourings and counseling that occur.

The smoke billows off of me. And this time it is not from one of my cigars.

There was the discussion about me as a Dominant and destiny. My observation and listening interactions are key to developing understandings. Especially when you have someone like Lil Red to deal with. The concept of tailor made falls short in comparison. But that is part of learning and evolving. As a Dominant I can't copy and paste others applications or relationship solutions to my situation. And never have I tried to do that. I have and do take bits and pieces and apply in a way that will allow my dynamic to be better. For my submissive to be more comfortable and open. Where she will understand, feel and bathe in my possession of her fully.

And yes I see my submissive as mine in exclusivity. That is how it should be for me. Not fully available to everyone and anything. But as i learned from the experienced and my experiences. I still will provide those things that she wants to do, experience and try if I cannot do it for her properly. So this is not an exclusivity of selfish things. And it also doesn't mean that I am not happy to make it that you are only mine and mine alone happily.

There were the counseling sessions. And for the record I am not nor have I ever been a counselor or therapist professionally. I am dating one so there is absolutely no need to be. *lol*  This is something I have done since I was in the 6th grade. For whatever reason females have felt comfortable enough to talk to me. Even though they feel that I am mean and are scared of arriving at the moment they will become the next monkey bitch inductee.

Talks about relationships past, future and present with the context of negated possibilities and defenses put up against everything. Here is where I am brutally honest and give positive advice even when it is not what they thought I would say or want to here. Because this is part of the archangel in me. I help them because I can. And because I have a duty.

Duty

Among all of my evilness and even the shrinking part of love in me. I remain dutiful unfortunately. I realized just how twisted and conflicted it is for me. When Lil Red brought forth the issues with the parental units. If my situation was different I would be a whole lot less involved in this. I would have already have washed my hands of it, but helped unfortunately in the end because it is my duty as much as I hate it. Those things that were learned through boy scouts and japanese culture remain instilled in me. I do the things that I hate because I am the only one that can. Auntie always says, "if it wasn't for you being smart enough to do and handle things as they make you out to be the bad guy. Then nothing would get done or happen without failing."  I am the bad guy. That doesn't even bother me. It is the battle within because my wants versus my duty are polar opposite things.

Lil Red and I have had some deep discussions. From things about our relationship from the craziness of the teenage dream. In this year of us dating I have evolved and done things that I would have been like "fuck you mean" previously. This patience thing. This low terminal velocity. These are things new to me. But it has allowed our relationship to grow and change a bit. Of course I am going to have a hard time dealing. I am Captain Caveman with the really large ID. Ups and downs still she remains the ONE no matter what she thinks. And I had to adjust to future thoughts, thinking and planning to a very right angle degree. Yeah CD, this is the shit you did to me!

My stress remains unchanged. But I just no longer feel it as I did earlier this year. And it is not because I got my FIX of Lil Red, or the amount of smoking and drinking. Honestly I don't know why I no longer feel it. As lil red brought up about fears of my copings. It has become a constant buzz in my background with the billions of other things. It doesn't change me fixing everything as much as possible. But I wonder what is truly happening a tiny bit. Don't want another episode of my Hulk chronicle memories of activities.

Well, this was your journey into lava, heat and the Hell of me. I hope you enjoyed your ride and were entertained. Please remember to keep all of your body parts inside the ride until you return to the exit. We are not responsible for melted minds and body parts.

Lord Havoc...*Management and Owner*

There is ME and there there is....you

Some will say that I do things the opposite in order to spite society or be contrary. And I will say HELL YEAH, that is a part of it.

But it is basically about me being me. Since I realized that I didn't want to or need to be any other way. This is the way that I have had to be.

I don't run around being friends with everyone or claiming we are family or I love them. Nor do I remain friends with exes that have violated and done things to end our relationship.

See, I don't need the unnecessary baggage or facade of hanging on to what could of, should have, would have been. And I find it wonderfully appropriate for the humans to do. I have no issue with that. My issue has always been one of them wanting me to conform to that type of activity. Now that, I cannot do!

My love is true just like my disassociation is with you. The path and results are based on what you choose. I don't drag what happened into the current moment. I pay attention to what I learned from past performances. I merely present myself as me, myself and I to all that I meet.

And I find that the overtly emotional as well as the introverted emotional people truly have an issue with this. Like I am supposed to be HR Puff n Stuff and love everyone. I speak and I am cordial until it is time not to be or they are on my shit list. I don't give out my personal accounts and history to people at all. Those things are reserved for the select and right now that is only a circle of 2.

There is so much of an issue with accepting and understanding me when I have already accepted and understood you. I know that all factors are of your choosing and you do whatever you want to do.

I guess I am too much of a disconnected alien for understanding and acceptance to actually apply fully.

alright then.

Plain and Simple

here are the things that I want with you. The things that make our relationship what it is.

I want and need you to myself.
That means no one else unless instructed or permitted to do so. Including those things I may not be skilled in or cannot provide.

Communication Nexus:
Always "Come and talk to me," like jodeci. I am not a mind reader so let me know what you are feeling and thinking. Just come here and lay it all out so that we may be honest and transparent.

Service to me:
This means those things that I may miss or quite not understand. There is nothing wrong with helping me with these things. To be available and able to serve and support needs and requirements that are there.

Desire:
You have to want this. Not tolerate this or think it is some chore. Just as I am vested in your betterment and journey. Invest in our relationship dynamic and make it dynamic.

Open up and simply be:
We are our roles. Each one is necessary. Simply be yourself and nothing else. Come to me and bear yourself to me. Let me hold it and give way to support and a good time.

Things are simple.
Just feel and decide.
I won't waste your time or mind