I got DJL3XX and Milkman mixes thumping in my ears and smoking a cigar. Because I need it right now!
It is rough arguing with parental units. Auntie is telling me not to argue with them. So I will do more episodes of Damage Inc.
So I did the only things I can do to deal with being here in bama. Got dropped off and walked to the cigar shop. Stayed in my music and to my damn self.
The fortress of solitude is being built bigger and better with everything that has gone on this year. Others can be more comfortable and it strengthens me to be all the Oyabun that I need to be!
I need some bottles of liquor and some shine.
I hope your weekend is going better than mine.
Saturday, August 26, 2017
Friday, August 25, 2017
Poetry: Gargoyle Serenade
Gargoyle Serenade
Crimson and cream
Permanency in black
Different like atoms
Still similar like
Sisters
I am
The monument to evil
Angry and distant
Yet right there
Misunderstood
Disbelief in my
choice in
Originality
Bathed in
Their blood
The blood of their
enemies
My duty
My watch
To the end of the
campaign
I remain
Etched in stone
Weathered and worn
Simplistically cold
Stalwart complexity
My presence
Each step a stomp to
a Masta Ace beat
Even in silence my
presence assaults like the 501st
Intended and
unintended intimidation
Flat line
Your heart, soul and
mind
For what I represent
Like finding an alien
invasion
Yet I remain
Throughout all the
storms
Self-destruction and
preservation
I am the buckler when
you waver
The bodyguard that
stands out the way
Tank that rolls
through everything
The war that you
never have to bring or manage
From the
chocolatezeus collection 8/25/17 ©
Uncharacteristic Moment Reveal
This is one of those times where I need comfort. That comfort of talking, laughing, chilling, fucking and play. Everything doesn't have to happen but hell if one happened now it would help.
Arrived in damn awful state of bama this morning at 424am. I rode straight on through the storms and all to get my aunt, her sister and uncle here.
The female parental unit liver and kidneys are at 13 percent. Heart function is at 15 percent. And none of that bothers me. Yeah, I have been up there to see her today after we arrived.
That black and white view that red and babygirl always talk about me having has about went to straight black now with the way things have rolled. I have managed but now I am wondering why bother managing any of it.
I know it is strange but I actually need some comfort from whoever I am dating or with once in a blue moon to keep things in balance and not be in a murderous rage. I am looking at the scale and that bitch is broke hard to the side right now.
Yeah, hugs, kissing, cuddling, rub down and that special move lil red does would make things bareable right now.
Angry ABM locked and loaded. Prepared for action!!
Arrived in damn awful state of bama this morning at 424am. I rode straight on through the storms and all to get my aunt, her sister and uncle here.
The female parental unit liver and kidneys are at 13 percent. Heart function is at 15 percent. And none of that bothers me. Yeah, I have been up there to see her today after we arrived.
That black and white view that red and babygirl always talk about me having has about went to straight black now with the way things have rolled. I have managed but now I am wondering why bother managing any of it.
I know it is strange but I actually need some comfort from whoever I am dating or with once in a blue moon to keep things in balance and not be in a murderous rage. I am looking at the scale and that bitch is broke hard to the side right now.
Yeah, hugs, kissing, cuddling, rub down and that special move lil red does would make things bareable right now.
Angry ABM locked and loaded. Prepared for action!!
Sunday, August 20, 2017
The Gravel Pit....Week in Review
lol the title is because I am listening to my theme music and Wu Tang's "Gravel Pit" is playing.
It has felt like operation rolling thunder. The odds have been seriously stacked and the fighting brutal. But hey, it is what I am created for.
The female parental unit is in the hospital again. And things have progressed even worse. But this has been ongoing like I thought when she was hospitalized last year. But dealing with heart, kidney and liver failure issues maybe she will realize not to try to keep this from folks while she is running around being nosey. I will be driving auntie and the other sister down to bama some time soon.
Strange how people have come to me or accepted my help in the lifestyle. I am after all the anti everything nice and sweet. lol But I don't have an issue with helping now that I have some knowledge and experience to offer help from.
It is entertaining when they pick at me saying that I am really nice and not mean or the shock when they realize that I am more than Evil who is on the conference calls and says what needs to be said regardless.
Honestly I do give a fuck. I give such a fuck that it pisses lil red and lil one off. Because I am overbearing. *shrug* I am not going to change being concerned about those I care about safety and well being.
My god daughter and the car adventures have continued like I unfortunately thought they would. She wants me to co sign with her father to get her a car. After her and her womb donor bought a car in Texas. smh And can't get it back to Tennessee. I knew this wasn't going to go well she told me they bought a 2013 for 500.
There have been questions of my comfort and needs. And those things use to be factors to me. But after all that has happened I put them away. Seeking comfort from those I am involved with or those I have a relation with just came to a stop. There is no need to put anything on them anyway. They have had more than enough going on. Especially lil red and lil one.
I have to say this fits. They always call me Biggie. And the stuff that has gone on lately has definitely qualified as some hypnotize description.
Right now I am definitely on the Bizarre Ride! lol
This transmutation of my life currently has been one of unbelievable perspectives. From the solitude and solitary refinement. To those that have stepped into the fray for different things.
Just going to continue the war until it it time to end it and make my mark.
Have a good one. I hope you had a good week and weekend. If not do something about it. There is still time.
It has felt like operation rolling thunder. The odds have been seriously stacked and the fighting brutal. But hey, it is what I am created for.
The female parental unit is in the hospital again. And things have progressed even worse. But this has been ongoing like I thought when she was hospitalized last year. But dealing with heart, kidney and liver failure issues maybe she will realize not to try to keep this from folks while she is running around being nosey. I will be driving auntie and the other sister down to bama some time soon.
As "I don't give a fuck" plays now...
Strange how people have come to me or accepted my help in the lifestyle. I am after all the anti everything nice and sweet. lol But I don't have an issue with helping now that I have some knowledge and experience to offer help from.
It is entertaining when they pick at me saying that I am really nice and not mean or the shock when they realize that I am more than Evil who is on the conference calls and says what needs to be said regardless.
Honestly I do give a fuck. I give such a fuck that it pisses lil red and lil one off. Because I am overbearing. *shrug* I am not going to change being concerned about those I care about safety and well being.
Bouncing to "X" by Xzibit
My god daughter and the car adventures have continued like I unfortunately thought they would. She wants me to co sign with her father to get her a car. After her and her womb donor bought a car in Texas. smh And can't get it back to Tennessee. I knew this wasn't going to go well she told me they bought a 2013 for 500.
There have been questions of my comfort and needs. And those things use to be factors to me. But after all that has happened I put them away. Seeking comfort from those I am involved with or those I have a relation with just came to a stop. There is no need to put anything on them anyway. They have had more than enough going on. Especially lil red and lil one.
Biggie's "Hypnotize" thumps in conclusion
I have to say this fits. They always call me Biggie. And the stuff that has gone on lately has definitely qualified as some hypnotize description.
Right now I am definitely on the Bizarre Ride! lol
This transmutation of my life currently has been one of unbelievable perspectives. From the solitude and solitary refinement. To those that have stepped into the fray for different things.
Just going to continue the war until it it time to end it and make my mark.
Have a good one. I hope you had a good week and weekend. If not do something about it. There is still time.
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