Poet Ink Spill: Efforts of the Effortless

Efforts of the Effortless

Convicted to their thoughts

Alleged feelings

Disillusioned

Words spill

Without reinforcement

Without substance

I

Like

Love

Care

Interject you

Here

An emotional

Slight of hand

Empty meanings

Still

They swear truth

Allegiance

With each breath

As I watch

Actions showing

Absolutely the polar opposite

That

Importance

Interest

Are only relative aspects

To when

They feel the need

Desire another toy to play with

When there it is time for

Something different

Equally unimportant

Just a matter of

Schizophrenic

Desired timing

Oh yes

I hear you

Your love

Your caring

Alleged to be special

When your actions

Show the truth in it all

The effort of

Priceless

Ambiguity

Commonality

So just another

Way to get your

Moody fix

From the chocolatezeus collection  9/2/17  ©

Feeling This

A Poetry Moment: A Heart With No Home

A Heart With No Home

Heart beats

Have left me

Bloodless and empty

Constant staunch reminders of

What could of

Should of

Would of

Love’s

Cardiac arrest

With no defibrillation

That could bring it back

Love is me

I am love

So why is it denied to me?

Looking back at

Love’s bonfire

As love kissed the sky

Remembering

When the heart beat like a

So So Def bass beat

When there was

Purpose

Meaning

A reason

For love to spit fire

Like a beast

Looking at the close door now

The cold fusion of

Anti-everything

No longer

Unable to even say

Rest in peace

Love

The heart

Soul

Remains

Deceased

From the chocolatezeus collection   9/1/17  ©

A Full Dance Card When You Don't Dance

There has been avalanche upon avalanche seemingly each moment for I don't even know how long now. I have lived since I was found doing crisis management for others as well as myself. But I wonder have I reached some limit or something.

The female parental unit is out of the hospital as of today. Which means preparation for all the variables that have the possibility of happening. So watching the tick of the clock now for the telltale signs or the results.

Pretty much since amsterdam I have stayed in the fortress of solitude. And I have strengthened it and my isolation a whole hell of a lot since then also. It is like I am watching a true horror flick starring myself and those I know many times.

Even though I am caring, protective and overbearing still. Emotionally and feeling wise I dead. Everything that has gone has allowed me return to being devoid of anything. Maybe it is the absence. Maybe it is others evolution while I have chosen to see a new darkness to travel. Some have recognized it and said something about it. Others may have recognized it and have not said anything. But I see the reality.

As I prepare for possibility of the female parental unit to die and then the male parental unit. I wonder is this a symbol of everything dying this year. Will the only thing left after this year be ashes and memories?

As I laugh ast Lil Flip's "Game Over" comes on just as I finish typing the last paragraph. lmao

Where I once turned to the one or those I loved and cared about for comfort and support. That is not an option anymore. They are not able to be that. And with everything they have going on it is a question of them being able to handle it anyway.

So I will continue the gauntlet.
Even though the beat thumps and head bobs. There is no dancing. For my inability to dance or even pretend to has hit zero.


Have a good one. Be true to yourself and live fully for yourself.

Reenactment of the Battle of the Bulge Life Unscripted Style

I care
I like
Even in ultra rare occasions I love

But yet I do my duty
Do what must be done
Maintain others before myself

I am
Who and what I am


The weekend was long, agitating, tiring, enraging and a whole bunch of fuck shit. It reminded my I am alone at all times now.

I drove Auntie, her sister and my uncle down to see the female parental unit who was and is still in the hospital. The police weren't out. We made it their safely even though Auntie's sister lied about fixing the car.  They spent a lot of time with her over the weekend. She needed it.

The female parental unit's sisters and brother got a first hand look at what the deal is going on for real with them down there. And I just looked at them and said I told you so.

I spent the time calculating what I would have to do next concerning them two and all the shit going on. Along with the things going on with babygirlprincess and others. I managed disaster after disaster all weekend. Hell, to be fucking honest all this damn year.

For the first time in a very long time I thought about the thing that red does that makes me relax and normally take a nap. And that was what I needed. Once that came to mind I nodded to myself and put on the rest of the Evil Armor so I could return to where I needed to be.

Got back this morning. Dropped them off and got my car. Now I have to get the car fix as well. Then more good news this afternoon from huntsville.

I am tired. I am worn. I actually do want some tlc and comfort.

Then there is reality.

And I hear Rico yelling, "Do you apes want to live forever?"

I remember

I breathe

Return to do what I must.



OH, and if you haven't seen Hitman's Bodyguard with ryan reynolds and samuel jackson it is hilarious.

Go check on someone you care about and love. Hug, kiss or just show that you are thinking about them.

As I look at my Doomsday clock. I say...

Be Well.