I can't say that I didn't hit my head more than a few times. Because I did. Along with gotten hit in the head a few times this year definitely.
So I have stacked the funeral pyre and I am throwing the flame to it.
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
The Culmination of Analysis and Observation
We strive to make things work. To exhaust what we see as endless possibilities. Sometimes it works and other times we are merely banging our heads against the wall.
I can't say that I didn't hit my head more than a few times. Because I did. Along with gotten hit in the head a few times this year definitely.
So I have stacked the funeral pyre and I am throwing the flame to it.
I can't say that I didn't hit my head more than a few times. Because I did. Along with gotten hit in the head a few times this year definitely.
So I have stacked the funeral pyre and I am throwing the flame to it.
From the Recesses of Doomsday
I am the darkness, within the darkness that is the light. *let that marinate*
It is hard and frustrating to have purpose, direction and goal. Yet fight individuals that can share, journey with and are enemies of the goals. Yet, the war must continue.
Since I was young I have known what I wanted and required. Even though I had to learn and tweek things growing up. The base was already there.
There was no follow the blueprint of my family. There was only my blueprint. All that you want someone just like your mother was some damn nonsense to me. I wanted a woman that was sexy, strong, understanding and submissive. (a weird female type indeed) I was not like my male parental unit at all. My concept of family was only my own. And my wife and others that I have loved have little similarity to the female parental unit besides cooking.
I have walked the darkness, while being the light for others since the beginning. To embrace my darkness fully once I got older and evolved into something even darker. Thoughts of having two subs/slaves, a wife that is a sub or any combination there of had not been in play then. Nor the strength of this need to give release to pain and pleasure that I have pent up inside of me.
Having been a late bloomer as they call it I saw things differently. And realized just how complicated a woman I needed. That sex appeal, intelligence, alpha female attitude combined with super freaky, kinkiness with a dark connection. The gates opened wide for me once I met my wife though. Because then it was a regular level of freakiness I could have and keep. I wonder how much more intense would we have been if I was into bdsm fully back then.
Being a Dom has always been natural. Even before I took ownership of those actions. It brought me pleasure, joy and satisfaction. Like the times with Em when I would release her for play after denial sessions. The joy on her face and passion made me smile fully. Those moments solidified my joy, desire and dedication.
The thing that I have craved to find is that woman that can handle me fully. The one that can handle the forced orgasms and I can let the sadist I keep in check out in me. I have heard the comments about how they can take this and that. But I know what I keep in super max inside of me. So I flog, paddle and spank with attention to their safety as I should. But damn, a woman that I can let it all go would be Awesome!
Looking at the candidates, the interests and all. I just have to shake my head in wonder.
Will the only way I have the woman I need is to invoke
PROJECT BUILD A BITCH
Let me return to the fiery, congested storms of my mind
It is hard and frustrating to have purpose, direction and goal. Yet fight individuals that can share, journey with and are enemies of the goals. Yet, the war must continue.
Since I was young I have known what I wanted and required. Even though I had to learn and tweek things growing up. The base was already there.
There was no follow the blueprint of my family. There was only my blueprint. All that you want someone just like your mother was some damn nonsense to me. I wanted a woman that was sexy, strong, understanding and submissive. (a weird female type indeed) I was not like my male parental unit at all. My concept of family was only my own. And my wife and others that I have loved have little similarity to the female parental unit besides cooking.
I have walked the darkness, while being the light for others since the beginning. To embrace my darkness fully once I got older and evolved into something even darker. Thoughts of having two subs/slaves, a wife that is a sub or any combination there of had not been in play then. Nor the strength of this need to give release to pain and pleasure that I have pent up inside of me.
Having been a late bloomer as they call it I saw things differently. And realized just how complicated a woman I needed. That sex appeal, intelligence, alpha female attitude combined with super freaky, kinkiness with a dark connection. The gates opened wide for me once I met my wife though. Because then it was a regular level of freakiness I could have and keep. I wonder how much more intense would we have been if I was into bdsm fully back then.
Being a Dom has always been natural. Even before I took ownership of those actions. It brought me pleasure, joy and satisfaction. Like the times with Em when I would release her for play after denial sessions. The joy on her face and passion made me smile fully. Those moments solidified my joy, desire and dedication.
The thing that I have craved to find is that woman that can handle me fully. The one that can handle the forced orgasms and I can let the sadist I keep in check out in me. I have heard the comments about how they can take this and that. But I know what I keep in super max inside of me. So I flog, paddle and spank with attention to their safety as I should. But damn, a woman that I can let it all go would be Awesome!
Looking at the candidates, the interests and all. I just have to shake my head in wonder.
Will the only way I have the woman I need is to invoke
PROJECT BUILD A BITCH
Let me return to the fiery, congested storms of my mind
Monday, September 29, 2014
R & B Thinking
I have never been one to be deeply into the slow jams. To be honest if I wasn't with a woman then I don't normally listen to any R&B. lol
The use of lyrics and accompaniment to express the joy, pain, pleasure and hatred of love and relationships. So much to be said and yet so much of the same thing barely said in a different way.
I have to laugh now because my previous lack of social skills has led me to be extremely straight forward when it comes to relations. The same straight truth that scares and makes females wonder why is the same lie that they speak to themselves saying that they want to hear and know the truth. But they claim to want truth, honesty and straight forward. Yet, they cringe in the darkness. Hiding from themselves and the ability to live, love and be themselves.
So the labyrinth of love, their minds and actions remain.
So I say and show you I Love You. And you run away. Telling me that something has to be wrong. Trying to come up with any excuse to make it a pipe dream. No, I know what I want, need and decide on it. I am not afraid to give that love and caring effect to the ones I feel that for and with.
But still, I merely sit back and watch the death of relations and the epitaph of love.
Cue the eerie music and evil laughter.
The use of lyrics and accompaniment to express the joy, pain, pleasure and hatred of love and relationships. So much to be said and yet so much of the same thing barely said in a different way.
I have to laugh now because my previous lack of social skills has led me to be extremely straight forward when it comes to relations. The same straight truth that scares and makes females wonder why is the same lie that they speak to themselves saying that they want to hear and know the truth. But they claim to want truth, honesty and straight forward. Yet, they cringe in the darkness. Hiding from themselves and the ability to live, love and be themselves.
So the labyrinth of love, their minds and actions remain.
So I say and show you I Love You. And you run away. Telling me that something has to be wrong. Trying to come up with any excuse to make it a pipe dream. No, I know what I want, need and decide on it. I am not afraid to give that love and caring effect to the ones I feel that for and with.
But still, I merely sit back and watch the death of relations and the epitaph of love.
Cue the eerie music and evil laughter.
I know how I feel
Analyzing and application
Checked my list
It felt right
Common ground
Joined characteristics
Balanced so
effectively
See
The sex is great
Conversation flows
effortlessly
Twisted joviality
Checklist complete
Heart held open
My soul says
Soul mate found
Considering my affinity for music. *lol* This song is one I feel and definitely speaks volumes.
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