Saturday, April 25, 2015
Shaking My Damn Head
As things pile up in exponential rate and fashion.
All I can do is twirl my executioner axe and say "Damn I miss you Chocolate Doll!!!!"
And yeah, I can pick em!
At least with all this stuff that is going on the muse has dropped in to give me plenty of ABM movement material.
All I can do is twirl my executioner axe and say "Damn I miss you Chocolate Doll!!!!"
And yeah, I can pick em!
At least with all this stuff that is going on the muse has dropped in to give me plenty of ABM movement material.
Where I Am?
This has been asked so here is my response.
I am here. Just sticking to being Chair of the ABM.
My place in life is what it is. I am among the humans and doing what needs to be done.
My analysis and evaluations have proven to be on point. At least it allows me to be prepared. When you look at the variables and deal with their possibilities it allows you to be better prepared. And thus here I am.
I am thankful for all that has happened. It has shown me the results in bad choices. The absolution of the ideology that was before and after A.D.
Adventures, experiences and things I look forward to. Now, in complete proper perspective.
Grinning and smiling as I embrace the chaos of change. It has already began and I am fully vested in it now.
My BDSM life has taken shape. My observation, interaction, the community and the individuals have helped solidify it. Like I have witnessed it is about service. And that is what it shall be. I probably will return to poly somewhere down the road. After learning from the subs and slaves that I met I will be able to strictly streamline things even further so it is properly began.
Being out in the community and conference calls revealed a lot to me. Giving me a plethora of ideas and ideologies to see, analyze and choose whether or not they pertained to me.
Looking forward to learning and observing at Shibaricon next month. I read the presenters info and the outlines of some of the classes being offered and got excited. Being a beginner can be a hinderance but I look forward to learning and at least observing the more advance techniques. I just need someone to practice rope on. I will have to work on that after this summer.
Life of a Ronin explains it all. The solitude and journey. The trials and tribulations as you help, counsel and be.
I am in a good place. Prepared and ready. Dealing with everything. Resolved and armed with understanding.
The Time is NOW!!!
The evolution of Apocalypse!
*Darkness reigns fully*
I am here. Just sticking to being Chair of the ABM.
My place in life is what it is. I am among the humans and doing what needs to be done.
My analysis and evaluations have proven to be on point. At least it allows me to be prepared. When you look at the variables and deal with their possibilities it allows you to be better prepared. And thus here I am.
I am thankful for all that has happened. It has shown me the results in bad choices. The absolution of the ideology that was before and after A.D.
Adventures, experiences and things I look forward to. Now, in complete proper perspective.
Grinning and smiling as I embrace the chaos of change. It has already began and I am fully vested in it now.
My BDSM life has taken shape. My observation, interaction, the community and the individuals have helped solidify it. Like I have witnessed it is about service. And that is what it shall be. I probably will return to poly somewhere down the road. After learning from the subs and slaves that I met I will be able to strictly streamline things even further so it is properly began.
Being out in the community and conference calls revealed a lot to me. Giving me a plethora of ideas and ideologies to see, analyze and choose whether or not they pertained to me.
Looking forward to learning and observing at Shibaricon next month. I read the presenters info and the outlines of some of the classes being offered and got excited. Being a beginner can be a hinderance but I look forward to learning and at least observing the more advance techniques. I just need someone to practice rope on. I will have to work on that after this summer.
Life of a Ronin explains it all. The solitude and journey. The trials and tribulations as you help, counsel and be.
I am in a good place. Prepared and ready. Dealing with everything. Resolved and armed with understanding.
The Time is NOW!!!
The evolution of Apocalypse!
*Darkness reigns fully*
Spoken Word: Absolutely Nothing
Absolutely Nothing
Silence
Dead to Life
Deep in the Darkness
Silhouetted in
Clandestined action
Battles
Won and lost
Blood dripping
Skin ripped and
filleted
Heart beating
Laying prone on the
Blood stained ground
Eternity
Has left me
Here I am
Transfixed
Transformed
Altered permanently
Emotionless
Heartless
Nothing human
Left of me
Pain
My only company
Forever represented
Part of me
Death
My being
Result of living
Hearing the drips
Of life from me
Encased
In toxicity
Soul removed from me
Remembering
Looking
Realizing
I see
Staring at me
Smiling prominently
My Existence
The
Abyss
From the
chocolatezeus collection 4/25/15 ©
A Spoken Word Dedication to Reality
Funeral Pyre
Love
Existence
Unrealistic
Useless sentiment
Betrayed intent
Misconcepted excrement
Fed the myth
Of it’s existence
A relevance
That is
Ambivalent
Absent
Caustic
The solution
Love’s evidence
The only
understanding
That is processed
The answer
Apathy
Complete disregard
A cold heart
From beginning to
Start
Killing all emotion
Feelings laid to rest
No need for an
Epitaph
Love
Never was
Never lived
Was always dead
Burning brightly
In the lies of
Heart
Mind
And Soul
From the chocolatezeus
collection 4/25/15 ©
Today's Quote
"I have a high art, I hurt with
cruelty those who would damage me." - Archilocus, 650 B.C.
Degree of Difficulty...DAMN!!
The recurring phrase has been, "you can pick em." For the longest time. Why? Because, the females I have dated, fucked, met and even my wife have been very different. Some psychos, others retarded and more.
The creme of the crop of course are the ones that I am closest to. The ones that I vibe and connect deeply to. These are the ones that everyone wants and are chased. These are the women that stymie males and females that chase them. They perplex anyone that is interested in them. Making it a matter or Russian roulette dealing with them. Because the journey is hard as hell and the dangers are astronomical. They destroy egos, ids, hearts and souls because of their ability to be contradictory to what other females act like. Bodies and sexuality that makes all stand there with their mouth open. Leaving them wanton and craving extremely. I know because the craving and has been and is known to me.
Looking back at being married to one I have to chuckle as I understand my tether to one of the most difficult types of the female species. I feel that link that shows me that they are unique and stand out from others. That sexual dynamo mixed with intelligence, wit and apparently the love and skill of musical knowledge. They read and write excellently. Through words, actions and the curves that they are blessed with, they exude all the things that make me want them.
Here I am in the labyrinth. Observing and attempting to conquer it all. Enjoying and needing the fix that is created. Connected to the mentality, personality, passion and sexuality deeply. Leaving the thoughts of future things upon my mind. Wondering what and how things may be. I see the finish line that I seek. Where I want to be. The inclusion of another being makes that journey problematic at the least.
I pick the most difficult, non conventional and non girly ones. But they keep my interest and have what I want. And they have the best chance of being with me.
I found it. I love it. *shrug* I just have to leave things up to the one and see which scenario will play out. Until then I will merely be and keep things properly in place and strapped down.
Hell she know the deal. I just leave the decision as her choice. And I will do what is necessary.
All I know on this ride I need to get a score of 1 million point five. Because this difficulty is extremely high.
The creme of the crop of course are the ones that I am closest to. The ones that I vibe and connect deeply to. These are the ones that everyone wants and are chased. These are the women that stymie males and females that chase them. They perplex anyone that is interested in them. Making it a matter or Russian roulette dealing with them. Because the journey is hard as hell and the dangers are astronomical. They destroy egos, ids, hearts and souls because of their ability to be contradictory to what other females act like. Bodies and sexuality that makes all stand there with their mouth open. Leaving them wanton and craving extremely. I know because the craving and has been and is known to me.
Looking back at being married to one I have to chuckle as I understand my tether to one of the most difficult types of the female species. I feel that link that shows me that they are unique and stand out from others. That sexual dynamo mixed with intelligence, wit and apparently the love and skill of musical knowledge. They read and write excellently. Through words, actions and the curves that they are blessed with, they exude all the things that make me want them.
Here I am in the labyrinth. Observing and attempting to conquer it all. Enjoying and needing the fix that is created. Connected to the mentality, personality, passion and sexuality deeply. Leaving the thoughts of future things upon my mind. Wondering what and how things may be. I see the finish line that I seek. Where I want to be. The inclusion of another being makes that journey problematic at the least.
I pick the most difficult, non conventional and non girly ones. But they keep my interest and have what I want. And they have the best chance of being with me.
I found it. I love it. *shrug* I just have to leave things up to the one and see which scenario will play out. Until then I will merely be and keep things properly in place and strapped down.
Hell she know the deal. I just leave the decision as her choice. And I will do what is necessary.
All I know on this ride I need to get a score of 1 million point five. Because this difficulty is extremely high.
Thursday, April 23, 2015
wind Go Down
As I sit here listening to dancehall and smoking a cigar. Dealing with thoughts, problems and the unexpected.
This is my first time trying a Fallen Angel double toro box press. It is good. Smooth with a nutty flavor. Not my normal full body but will add to the humidor for sure.
Trying to let my mind comprehend and digest things. It is hard to uiet my mind in the first place. I am constantly problem solving and soing probability analysis.
I am not sure what is next. I am admittedly concerned.
Right nkw I just have to do what I do though.
This is my first time trying a Fallen Angel double toro box press. It is good. Smooth with a nutty flavor. Not my normal full body but will add to the humidor for sure.
Trying to let my mind comprehend and digest things. It is hard to uiet my mind in the first place. I am constantly problem solving and soing probability analysis.
I am not sure what is next. I am admittedly concerned.
Right nkw I just have to do what I do though.
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Which Doctor Am I...Need you even ask?
‘Doctor Who’ Personality Quiz: Which Doctor Are You?
The Thirteen Doctors (Pic: BBC)
This is not a test of how well you know your Doctor Who, and there are no value judgements. Each of the faces of the Doctor has something uniquely great about him, and if you happen to be closest to a Doctor that is not your favorite, well maybe it’s like that thing where similar magnetic poles repel one another.
And we’ve updated the quiz to include recent developments. So, thirteen Doctors (including the War Doctor), thirteen questions, with thirteen answers each. Answer truthfully and see what—and, most importantly Who— you get:
Which Doctor Am I?
I am the War Doctor of course!!!!
Life is too short for mucking about. You have a job to do and you are committed to doing it, whatever the consequences may be. While every bit as charming (in your own way) as any of your fellow Doctors, you feel like you were put here for a purpose, and you find it quite hard to rest until all the work is done.
This can sometimes make life feel like a bit of a burden for you, and result in the occasional moment of short-temper with other people's silliness or their strange choice of personal expression. It's OK, the people who love you know you don't mean it really.
And despite your crusty exterior, they really do love you. Your greatest admirers would be prepared to make extraordinary sacrifices on your behalf if the chips are down, so don't feel that you have to carry that burden alone.
Evolution and Dominant
The day was filled with unseen and unexpected. As well as the usual. Plus the ever present over thinking mind of mine.
This week was revolution. My fleet of Death Stars left the space dock this week. Dark and sinister, with prominent intent. Deeper discussion with HQ was needed, occurred and shed light on unlocking the last of the big safety tethers left.
With the change has come the return to simply "being." Instead of the kid gloves that were used concurrently. If I didn't care I would have merely gave instruction and responded to them completing the assignments properly and on time. Unfortunately previous candidates were lacking.
As I said at the coffee tonight. As a Dom I have to go at a pace to learn, adjust and prepare my sub. Whether it pisses them off about the slow pace or not. My ability to be and be the best Dom possible is about doing what I am supposed to as a Dom. Allow for that trust, understanding and submission to occur fully.
So as I am here listening to the Hyphy Movement album. Even with my lack of patience. Time has led to better understanding and a place where we would not be at if things had just been at face value. So I am thankful for the learning from the Sirs and observation. As well as the interaction and understanding of HQ. Learning will forever continue.
But now there is the unveiling and christening of
Me and the Dark Side!!!
Let's hope there won't be any full moons any time soon then. *Evil Laughter*
This week was revolution. My fleet of Death Stars left the space dock this week. Dark and sinister, with prominent intent. Deeper discussion with HQ was needed, occurred and shed light on unlocking the last of the big safety tethers left.
With the change has come the return to simply "being." Instead of the kid gloves that were used concurrently. If I didn't care I would have merely gave instruction and responded to them completing the assignments properly and on time. Unfortunately previous candidates were lacking.
As I said at the coffee tonight. As a Dom I have to go at a pace to learn, adjust and prepare my sub. Whether it pisses them off about the slow pace or not. My ability to be and be the best Dom possible is about doing what I am supposed to as a Dom. Allow for that trust, understanding and submission to occur fully.
So as I am here listening to the Hyphy Movement album. Even with my lack of patience. Time has led to better understanding and a place where we would not be at if things had just been at face value. So I am thankful for the learning from the Sirs and observation. As well as the interaction and understanding of HQ. Learning will forever continue.
But now there is the unveiling and christening of
Me and the Dark Side!!!
Let's hope there won't be any full moons any time soon then. *Evil Laughter*
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Spoken Words: The Crucifix of You and Me
The Crucifix of You
and Me
Why is there this
connection
Seesaw
Emotions and destiny
But I look
Into your eyes
Face
And I see
Allow myself to feel
Acceptance of
What is
What could be
Still
Buried deep
The results of
everything
When
Unearthed
Is what I want it to
be
Has my faculties
Finally failed me
Wrongfully
Thinking
Wanting
Believing
In possibility
Will this lead to
Positive
Or negative
Ending
From the
chocolatezeus collection 4/21/15 ©
Riddle Me This
There is no enigma as I continue to watch the absurdity of individuals stories and words, cascade carelessly everywhere. Like we are so blind that we cannot see or think. It is an egregious action against function brain cells.
How many times can it be said? Be yourself and no one else. Speak your mind and heart. Don't be afraid of yourself. And most importantly know and understand yourself.
Everyone is a work in progress. But when you are force feeding us and yourself the bullshit daily. Then it only gets deeper with each passing moment.
With that said:
How many times can it be said? Be yourself and no one else. Speak your mind and heart. Don't be afraid of yourself. And most importantly know and understand yourself.
Everyone is a work in progress. But when you are force feeding us and yourself the bullshit daily. Then it only gets deeper with each passing moment.
With that said:
House of Mirrors
You are
Twisted
Gnarled
Mistaken
Misplaced
Mentally diabolically
Laced
Evidence of
Lying arrogance
Thinking that none
can
See through your
Obvious
Observance
Even when it is only
Just your
Reflection
You lie to yourself
And the mirror
Again
Is anything about you
Original
Direct from the
factory
Presented
What once was
Now merely
A remnant
Fairy tale
As we wonder
About every word that
You have ever said
Each story
Seemingly lies
That we have been
Forced fed
Knock
Knock
Is there anyone
Real in there
The mirror is for
Your reflection
Not your liable
Self and public
Deception
From the
chocolatezeus collection 4/21/15 ©
Sunday, April 19, 2015
Spoken Word: Destination Nothing
The frustration
Bewilderment
Mental castration
Journeying towards goals
That are forbidden
Combat zones
Heartless
Disconnected
Intent
Tortured
Twisted
Cold
Soul
Withering
Dead and decaying
Ashes blown
This rubix cube
Experience
With a purposeful
Anti Solution
Evidence pointing
Deftly in bright effect
That denial
Dissuasion
Revocation
Are the only
options available
Conclusion
Unfathomable
Empty
Rotten Future
Soul
Death to positivity
Happy ending
Something of Substance
Just let the
Cauldron
Boil
from the chocolatezeus collection 4/19/15 (c)
Spoken Word: Beats, Thoughts and Conclusion
Beats thump
Give way to callous thought
Revocation of resemblance
To concerns lost
The black and blues
Hues of anger
Concussive revelations
I am the darkness
That was sought
Careening through
Emotions and feelings
Angered at their cause
Borg like mentality
Transmuted to Pudding soft
Origin
Where art thou
Too much has been lost
Scorch the universe
Stain existence with
The presence of the return to
What I am
Stand within the flames
Drinking gasoline
Smiling brightly
Return from misrepresentation
Fabrication of soft infestation
Necessary cleansing
The only available application
For tis I
Apocalypse
The representative of
Light and Dark
I am the
Evil Mark
from the chocolatezeus collection 4/19/15 (c)
Give way to callous thought
Revocation of resemblance
To concerns lost
The black and blues
Hues of anger
Concussive revelations
I am the darkness
That was sought
Careening through
Emotions and feelings
Angered at their cause
Borg like mentality
Transmuted to Pudding soft
Origin
Where art thou
Too much has been lost
Scorch the universe
Stain existence with
The presence of the return to
What I am
Stand within the flames
Drinking gasoline
Smiling brightly
Return from misrepresentation
Fabrication of soft infestation
Necessary cleansing
The only available application
For tis I
Apocalypse
The representative of
Light and Dark
I am the
Evil Mark
from the chocolatezeus collection 4/19/15 (c)
Dynamic, Decisive Disregard Equals What Must Be
Realization. It came as a crushing blow. Even though it was foreseen a long time ago.
The one thing that I vowed not to allow to happen occurred. I became soft and weak. Has becoming a widower and interactions with the humans made me this week? Smdh. Shame, shame, shame.
I let feelings get in the way of being. Let the concept destroy what should and always will be.
Dominant. It is who and what I am. Always have been. Most of the time in the past without any effort at all. Naturally it has happened. I got away from actively doing what I need to do. Succumbed to complacency and fluffy things.
Yes, I treated the subs and slaves this way. There was nothing invested with them. Unfortunately the invested one is the one that I should have treated the same way as well. Left with the point of "make or break." It is my fault I slipped so badly in this way.
Time to drop the Nuke...
Throw the hands up and let whatever happens be the way
The one thing that I vowed not to allow to happen occurred. I became soft and weak. Has becoming a widower and interactions with the humans made me this week? Smdh. Shame, shame, shame.
I let feelings get in the way of being. Let the concept destroy what should and always will be.
Dominant. It is who and what I am. Always have been. Most of the time in the past without any effort at all. Naturally it has happened. I got away from actively doing what I need to do. Succumbed to complacency and fluffy things.
Yes, I treated the subs and slaves this way. There was nothing invested with them. Unfortunately the invested one is the one that I should have treated the same way as well. Left with the point of "make or break." It is my fault I slipped so badly in this way.
Time to drop the Nuke...
Throw the hands up and let whatever happens be the way
You....My Possession
From the convo with HQ about possession.
Males and men all seek to possess females in some shape or form. It really depends on what they want, the level of possession and the subject they are trying to possess.
Some females are possessed easily by fucking them well and giving them attention. I know I have had those types with the likes of Raven, boston cream, Nurse and more. Where you fuck them like they need and they won't forget. They want it and you so they crave it. You possess them now. They will do what needs to be done to get their fix. Even if it means finding a third female to have a relationship with so that you feel comfortable when you can't see me.
I have never been the pretty boy or anything else that would have females falling for me. But, I have had the sexy females and the females everyone else wanted with me and loving me. Even breaking down the ones that didn't want to show or have feelings. This was achieved through: attention, communication, probably that I am unique and the mystery of me. From the cupcake girl that everyone was wondering why she was kissing me and had to play with me first at swing parties to the virgin chick that kept coming back for more even when I told her to leave me alone and she can't handle me. She finally stopped when we tried to have sex the other year and she was boring me so much with the hesitation and everything that my dick went soft and I was like never mind. I never heard from her again. lol
Males will try to possess females for the moment. Or so they can say that they had them as one of a list. Or many other reasons. Most it is about the aspect of the chase and conquering. Then there is the point of moving on to something new. Which in this modern age also has transcended to females as well.
My possession is deeper since being married. It is about that connection. The way we interact. Being there for me. Through pleasure, service, fortitude, understanding and more. Where I am a part of her. her mind and soul. She feels, needs and craves me. That lock that is so strong and sturdy against the change of time.
When I say and claim her as mine. She knows and gives me that look. Knowing completely that she is all mine. That she will serve me fully and happiness will be by design.
Males and men all seek to possess females in some shape or form. It really depends on what they want, the level of possession and the subject they are trying to possess.
Some females are possessed easily by fucking them well and giving them attention. I know I have had those types with the likes of Raven, boston cream, Nurse and more. Where you fuck them like they need and they won't forget. They want it and you so they crave it. You possess them now. They will do what needs to be done to get their fix. Even if it means finding a third female to have a relationship with so that you feel comfortable when you can't see me.
I have never been the pretty boy or anything else that would have females falling for me. But, I have had the sexy females and the females everyone else wanted with me and loving me. Even breaking down the ones that didn't want to show or have feelings. This was achieved through: attention, communication, probably that I am unique and the mystery of me. From the cupcake girl that everyone was wondering why she was kissing me and had to play with me first at swing parties to the virgin chick that kept coming back for more even when I told her to leave me alone and she can't handle me. She finally stopped when we tried to have sex the other year and she was boring me so much with the hesitation and everything that my dick went soft and I was like never mind. I never heard from her again. lol
Males will try to possess females for the moment. Or so they can say that they had them as one of a list. Or many other reasons. Most it is about the aspect of the chase and conquering. Then there is the point of moving on to something new. Which in this modern age also has transcended to females as well.
My possession is deeper since being married. It is about that connection. The way we interact. Being there for me. Through pleasure, service, fortitude, understanding and more. Where I am a part of her. her mind and soul. She feels, needs and craves me. That lock that is so strong and sturdy against the change of time.
When I say and claim her as mine. She knows and gives me that look. Knowing completely that she is all mine. That she will serve me fully and happiness will be by design.
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