So there have been a number of discussions lately. From just about everywhere and different people. And I am not the norm so of course my way and existence tends to almost always throw everyone else off or into their feministic morality clause mode.
Much of the discussions were about what has been learned, adopted, changed and remained the same. And there have been a whole lot of changes since the beginning as well as compartmentalization.
Me Being a Dominant
Well, let's define this a little bit. I am a hetero, hierarchial, male lead household, with female submissives, those that are dated and other classes as those lower on the pyramid of hierarchy. Everything is consensual. So if they don't want to be a submissive, serve, date or anything then *exit stage left*
Me in a relation or Dating:
Pretty much the same as dating with a lot more structure and focus of role. There is a more vanillaesque interpretation to this part.
D/s, M/s and Bdsm:
My first dynamic started from dating. Because it seemed like the best of all things and what I wanted. it ended up being a road travelled that was full of things I had no clue about or was fully prepared for. i dove in fully and ended up learning how to be on the swim and scuba team at the same time. The hard way. It didn't work out the way it was supposed to. But ok then.
Out of the next dynamics I got one lasting one and one that showed me the error of not being more precise and sticking to specifics.
The future one is moving along well since I have learned so much from these years already.
Relations and Dating:
I have become more and more compartmentalized and rigid in my choices. I realized that even though I can see capabilities, potential and etc does not mean that they can see it or are capable of it. I now take their pasts, damage and experiences a lot more into consideration when interested, speaking to or considering.
What have I learned in Bdsm Dynamics?
I require very specific submissive and slaves. They have to be willing and able to serve, submit and maintain this throughout the dynamic.
There will never be consideration for someone that has another dominant at this time in my life. They need to be able to focus and serve properly.
Any disconnect when it comes to vision and goals will warrant a no thank you.
Communication is non negotiable. Even when they are in their feelings and upset.
Either you are all in or all out.
What have I learned in dating and relations?
To be a whole lot more strict on the candidates. Who, how and what they are along with what they are bringing to the table.
Make sure that it is all laid out on the table in whatever way they understand right in the beginning.
Make sure they understand completely what their role is and where things are going
Overall:
Communicate, communicate, communicate.
Make sure they understand.
Listen.
Do not be lenient abut requirements, needs and etc.
Make sure they are committed to me and the goals that have been set.
There has been a lot of talks and talking. But I figured I would condense it down to this. But discussion is always available and open.
The learning continues
