Destiny

How did a guy like me
Get a girl like you

Wifey material
Eye candy
Intelligent

The mystical unicorn
Makes me happy

Making me smile
Keeping me horny

The picture of womanhood
In this day and age
So rare
So hard to believe

Still
I wonder
How was I so lucky

To meet
The holy grail
That others want and need

I will take this miracle
Graciously

Thank you
Destiny


From the Chocolatezeus collection  9/2/15. (c)

Relationship Relativity Reality

Now my relationships have been mostly crazy and disastrous.  I did have 2 great relationships though. My on going one with my fellow Road Warrior Ru Ru. And my marriage to my deceased wife Chocolate Doll. Now these are and were in no way perfection. But they are and were how relationships should be.

And my current relationship with Lil Red is one of diversity. Because we are like two different alien races without a universal language decoder trying build a planet together. But for me opposite types of females to ne are the ones that tend to work for me. As long as they are in my parameters.

Alright then. I am going to discuss my views about relationships here on my blog. And they will be following Sir Mythos' posts concerning his educational on relationshionships in the MDHL group on fet.  So I will be responding more in depth here. I will not quote from the posts because I do not have permission to do so. But I do invite those on fet to go read and discuss.

Here comes the insight of Havoc.

Relationships require WORK to create and maintain them. There is no way to get around that unless you are playing or pretending to have a relationship.

Today's Topic is: SELF CARE The importance and need for it in a relationship. Whether vanilla or D/s.

My view is that self care should be the building block of relationships. Because if you have no sense of self, self worth or understanding of self then it all begins with a farce.

It is the emotional, spiritual and physical aspects that need to be tended to and nurtured.

• Emotionally. Are you able to allow the flow of emotions and feelings that occur with connecting with someone? This is where you form a bond that either makes the relationship last or dates when it comes to an end. So many are in fear of their emotions and feelings that they doom any type of relationship they have from the beginning. It is alright to form attachment. Even though society tells you other wise. That bond is one that is fully of strength and power in a relationship dynamic. It is where the trust, desire and need have unified.  These mental aspects have to be admitted to, understood and accepted within yourself. Without that how can you honestly say you are available to be involved with anyone else? And I do not mean that you have to wait until you know everything about yourself. Because that is a life time journey. Understand that you do and did this or that. That you have pros and cons of the things that you have done and experienced. Understand the reasons why you did those thing and learn from them. Then accept all that has happened and the challenge of making the best decisions and things better along with that you can't change the past.
• Spiritual. This is that essence that allows for a drive and need to build upon your relationship. For me it has levels. There is that ultimate level, which is the immediate, no question what it means and the destination will be. (the very rare and powerful one that I do not take lightly) Then there are the ones that are based on how close the individuals are to me. Since I take relationships so seriously I come off mean, brutish and being the Caveman that I am. I will cherish, protect and love you to the best of your station. But I will also dismiss you without a second thought when need arises.
• Physical. You have to care of your body for you to remain in the land of the living and have the ability to be involved in a relationship. And yes, I have been a culprit to this in my life. I have done better. I have had a big reason to since I wanted to establish a permanent relationship. In this is that drive to have both me and my sub both working on being healthy and living long. So yeah, I started going to the gym and my eating style has changed. I encourage her with her gym and tennis activities that she enjoys anyway. So it is a bit easier.

Just a beginning. Learning and growing are a permanent thing.

What the Rain Brings...Ode to a Harley Thing

Torrential rains
Bring

Unchained psyche

Your body here upon my alter
Sacrifice to
Pleasure and Pain

Your arched back
Internal silence
The same as other's
Screams

Pinned
Restrained
By rope and hands
Just to be free

Slow derrick churning
Constant eruptions
As I seek
Deeper and deeper
Premium orgasms

Each choke
Each slap
Created
Orchestrated earthquakes
As legs tremble and shake

You gag
Until tears caress me
Choking on the pleasure you need

Insatiable is
As insatiable plays
Insatiable permeates
Our play

Each rain drop
A measure for the amount of
Orgasms you should make

Continuance
Again and again

Bring me
My torrential rain
Creamy magma eruptions

Maybe then
I will give you a reprieve

*EVIL LAUGHING*

Then again
You know me

And my Beast
Must Feed
Feed into and
Beyond
Eternity


From the chocolatezeus collection 9/2/15 (c)



Yes hurricanes make me even more horny. Damn the things I would do right now if I had my Harley!

The Yoke of Reciprocity

One thing I learned about dealing with humans, especially females is that there is no need to do more than they have given.

Some will say this is selfish and stuff. But this is basic operation in a world where others want you to jump through hoops for them to feel better.

I have learned in seeking, dealing with relations with females. If genuine interest is shown that they become skittish, unresponsive, combative and crazy. They do not want direct course of action because it is too brutal and overbearing. You have to pretty much ignore them for there to be an interest for them.

It is the way of existing comfortably in the human nature. Where it allows for that measure of control.

When there is nothing invested and the exit option is easily available is when they feel most warm and comfy. When there is no goal or concrete commitment. There are the smiles and sighs of relief.

True I have not always applied this to interacting with the populace. Hell, I did the full opposite when I was married. But that was a miracle case for me. And I am thankful for seeing and living that.

Now, I merely wait. It has that nonchalant feeling. But hey, I learned my lesson and applied it fully this time.

Maybe females will one day speak up and say what they want. Well maybe sooner than when hell freezes over.

lmao

The equal yoke became a fairy tale myth. An entity born of celestial beings.

No problems mon. It is whatever and whatever. Until something might be expressed differently.



Tallyhooo!!!

Left Turn At Alberquerque

Morning. It definitely has been an interesting night aka morning. So this post as well as any other post today that I do will be weird. *you've been warned*

If you don't know I am not a huge r&b fan unless I am with a female. That doesn't mean that I don't like it. Just that you won't find me listening to it much by myself.

Considering I once again am paired up with another human jukebox.  How in the world did I end up with Chocolate Doll and Lil Red both in my lifetime as the ultimate djs? Just my destiny apparently. Anyway, because of Lil Red now I have come back to some r&b and she has tirned me on to some stuff that I hadn't listened to like Hozier. And "take me to church" has a very big connotation and theme for me.

Ok, semi back on topic.

Well I just started listening to Janet Jackson's Unbreakable album. I actually had to say that I liked and saw some application through a few tracks.

• the title song Unbreakable
• Shoulda Know Better
• After You Fall...for D/s reasons obviously
• No Sleeep...because no sleep is a theme when time is spent with Mr Wolf

But yes, I am the hardcore, gangsta rap and heavy metal with a dash of big band and classical type of man still.

And yes, I am jamming to a Prince song called This Could B Us. lol it fits. and X's Face has me doing the two step.  And then after listening to HardRockLover I am horny and need to make a woman just cry and scream as she has a 5.6 earthquake.

I did laugh at this show The Best Time ever with Neil Patrick aka dougie houser and the white guy amid the brotherhood on Undercover Brother. Lil Red said she had been laughing at it and suggested it. She was correct the first episode had me ctfu.

Total Drama: the redonkulous race. They have continued to be some crazy cartoon creating fools over there. I have never been into the amazing race or any of those shows. But this one definitely will have me laughing.

Ok I tried the second episode of Minority Report. Umm, ok the little black girl has a cute little ass and they keep her in some tight pants. But I am trying to understand why this show is even on. I understand that it is relevant to us because it is showing us what the gubberment wants and will do to the citizens. But beyond that...wtf.

The Bastard Executioner. Ok I like Kurt Sutter because of how great Sons of Anarchy was. But this show has me contwisticated (I know that is not a word). I love medival stuff. And it has my baby momma Katey Segal that I want to fuck to death. But damn the plot, storyline and character development is so convoluted that Confucius is confused.

Ok this went longer and crazier than I thought. So I am going to throw it up as I ride out to that Scarface "Exit Plan."

Within The Terrordome

The week has been marred by the parental units and their attempt to ply their selfish montra upon me.

Sitting here listening to s types speaking on service. And I realize that service is for both s type and Dom. But I really don't think that it is productive to complain and carry on with or without the Dom about the service that they are requiring. If you are not into service then it is best not to enter into those relationship. It doesn't appear to me to be true submission if it always has to be about something that you enjoy. Things are not always what makes you happy. It is about responsibility and duties on both sides of the slash.

Submission is more than service. It is being part of the guidance, goal achievement, service, loyalty, trust and respect.   But as with all things I need the whole or as much as the whole as possible versus the tiny pieces here and there.  Submission just like Domnance is about growth. So it is a work in progress. As trust and the connection grows then things increase and evolve. Just as a sub serves, me as a Dom looks out for my sub. Making sure of health and other aspects while pushing growth and accomplishments.

I think Bruce Lee's quote best fits D/s when it comes to growth.

“Do not be tense, just be ready, not thinking but not dreaming, not being set but being flexible. It is being “wholly” and quietly alive, aware and alert, ready for whatever may come.”

–  Bruce Lee, Tao of Jeet Kune Do

This journey has it's ups and downs. And with the real life applications and injections. 

The dealing with parental units and all this stuff going on has definitely put a serious hindrance on my D/s relationship with Lil Red. Hell, just would be nice to bring the threat level down from defcon 40 for a while.

But regardless. I make it happen. I do what is necessary to do. I am still honor, duty and responsibility.

D/s aka The Executive Branch of the Lifestyle

I cannot make it clearer. When the playing is done and you are working on, building or maintaining a D/s relationship it is not a cake walk.

Of course I realized that in talking to the experienced and conferences. When they talk about the financial, world applications and lawful ramifications of doing this.

The initial process is one of playing chess with both hands tied behind your back until you progress more and more. It is like sending out force recon to the unknown and wondering if any of them will come back alive.

For someone that is a direct and immediate type of person originally. I find it interesting to look back on this last year and realize that I had to do that patient thing and all that I hated previously. It has definitely had it's moments throughout that time.

I can look at the growth within the labyrinth of Lil Red. As I hear the phrase "there and back again," from the Hobbit. *lol* A relation that was opposing forces at best in the beginning. Now something closer than distant.

With Lil Red I have been thoroughly challenged. From the weird things each of us bring with us to the communication gaps at times. This is where the choice of whether or not things are important and you can focus come to bear fully.

Why did I use the phrase "executive branch of the lifestyle?"  Because this is the non glorious and always fun part of bdsm. This is the management and responsibilities part.

And believe me when you get one of the stellar unicorn types management can be like riding a bronco while doing your 1090 at the same time. lol But it is worth it. I see Lil Red looking at me side ways but it is the truth. lol  The challenge keeps me interested and makes it all worth it.

The apply this fix and formula to solve everything. Doesn't work here. It is always on the job training and observation that you have to use to succeed. The traditional guidelines are there and they set down the basis and guide you. But Human nature is never that simple. And of course the adventure is always more memorable and exciting when it is not the same old boring things that you do.

Well I have to get back to reading my manual. More management to do.

And damn my play time is calling me too.

Till the next time. Adieu

Beast Mode In Poetry: At War With The Beast

This is based of a true daily story and ongoing struggle. Because the pleasure in pain is real. Real, real damn good to me! lol  But I have to do it safely and make sure that who i play with will be alright after I am done. 

But Beast Mode is really REAL!!

At War With The Beast

My inner sadist

He detests and hates me

We battle in earnest constantly

To secure some form of foothold

Rigorously

He needs to feed

He has tasted

The blood and tears

Of my play things

The mental chains

Now barely containing him

While the other part of me

Wants him to be fully released

So we can both

Smile with glee

Enjoy the high and rush

Of tears, marks and anticipated

Inflictions of pain

The Beast is what I have always

Held in place

But after this last year of tastes

It is like krispy Kreme

The Hot Now sign is on

And now the feeding frenzy

Has become a stellar lunar eclipse

All the waiting

The controlled playing

When I want to render my pain slut

Inert and pulsating

With the energy of my Beast

Like a zombie

This urge grows more and more

Deeply and maddening

I must feast

Should I eat enough to

Keep the hunger pains at a measured peace

Or should I unshackle and unchain

The Beast

To let him gorge himself fully

In a incandescent color of pain

Moans, crying and writhing

Where I harass every bruise made

To reintroduce the memory of pain again

The Beast

My burden

This stain upon me

The Power Extreme within me

From the chocolatezeus collection  9/28/15  ©

Prominent Principle

I equate being a Dominant as being a manager.

Why you ask?

• You have to set goals
• Be transparent
• Gain trust and cooperation
• support and guide
• remain vigilant
• Understand, learn and grow

It was said best last week about the lifestyle. It is all fun and games until it is not sexy anymore. That means when you are dealing with people on a regular. Day to day or whatever the intervals. It isn't about how well you can flog or single tail them. It is about if you can stand them. How they are as a person. 

So many vanilla and people claiming to be in the lifestyle have the thoughts that it is about play. And there is an area about play. But when you are claiming D/s or M/s it isn't about the play. It is about a journey that is taken. Responsibilities and trust that must be handled..

See, there is no overconfidence in what I say. I remain humble. Searching for mentors and learning what I can. But I have come into contact with diverse people who have been able to express to me what their homes are like. The traditional aspects as well as the tailor made things. 

One fix does not apply to all. Especially when you are with someone like Lil Red, who is completely and uniquely different in so many ways that I have lost count. Truely a test of learning, evolution and teachings applied at all times. 

So veterans don't feel like all of us newcomers dismiss what you say. You can't fault the whole for some of the parts. Just as some us don't feel like every veteran has turned their back on instruction the newer people. 

I have spent this last year seriously learning and applying myself with D/s. Some faux pas, some victories. But through it all there has been nothing but growth and strengthening. I will continue to stick to being involved in my community and look forward to travelling to other communities to partake soon as well. 

Bottom line is the principles that you choose to uphold and value. 

I value my desire to inspire growth, goals and an experience that gets better and better. A relationshp that is way better than when it began. At a place where we can look back and say, "we came a ways from there, clearly."

I remain steadfast in my principle and journey.  Thankful for those that have imparted wisdom, views and more to me. 

Spoken Word: Here and Now

silence grips
the meatiness of
nothingness

a potent culmination
of raw emotions and realization

standard bearer
infantry assault
No recon
relationship

quicksand
the only choice
in stand your ground

sunken
unfurled
stained

left with the vibe
vibration of synchronization

destiny
abound

glory found
through staccoto expression

a miracle is found


from the chocolatezeus collection  9/27/15  (c)