Poetic Reality: Me the Oyabun

Me the Oyabun

I sit here through the clouds of

My cigar smoke

As always alone in a crowd

The silent stand out

Fellowshipping with the

Good, Bad and me the Evil

Everyone a walking armory

Making moves

Blink after blink

Sophisticated

Cro-Magnon Caveman

Yes, that is me

I won’t fit into your theory

Your attempt to understand me

Leaving you in psychiatric wings

At the head of the table is where I will be

My silence speaking volumes for me

As I keep my circles on lock down

Limited to no access

In the light there is the dark

In the dark

There is ME

I feed on human beings

And everything and everyone

That is not in approval with me

Not giving a fuck

Making decisions

Pressing forward

Fuck those that can’t hang with that shit

I am a full clip

With a nuclear tip

And I am always

Ready, willing and able

To nuke you

And you too

From the chocolatezeus collection   12/28/16  ©

Big Evil Poetry: My Gift to You

My Gift to You

What the Blood Clot

Watching your blood flow

Like the river at Yellowstone

Serrated steel

Making you smile for eternity

Watching your horror mirrored

On the blade’s gleam

Pulling your entrails

To choke you with them

As I squeeze the last beats from your heart

Gift wrapping you with your rib cage

Keeping rigor mortis from setting in

Killing each of your organs

Again and again

Filling up an Olympic pool with your blood

So I can throw you in

Practice life saving

Only to enjoy drowning you

Again and again

Making you drink every drop in

Letting your blood run free

Sets you free

Don’t worry

No need to thank me

My ecstasy is payment enough for me

From the Big Evil collection  12/28/16  ©

I Am the Target!!!

I am a black man.
A black Dominant man. 
Walking to my own path.
Using my thought processes.

I have been endangered since it all began. From police, females, blacks and all. There is always someone ready to attempt an assault against me. This is merely reality.

Add to that being a black Dominant and you have the elite of the target realm.  Still, I press forward with leadership, wisdom, mission, vision and goals.

Leadership

By analytical and observation skills I formulate ever changing plans for my submissive. To work on guiding her through career, personal aspects and more.  Adjusting and adaptation are key to this. Planning as much as possible as an outline to fall back to.

The Mission

To have s types expand their boundaries, horizons and goals while achieving them to the fullest.  This goes from their careers to their dating to their D/s journey. Achieving this through support, leadership and importance.

The Vision

My vision is to have a house of s types that honor, serve and live life to the fullest.  From trips to far away places to simple things that make them relax and be able to deal with the world. To empower them and give them balance as well as enjoyment in life.



Yes, even though I have not been at this for decades I have established the foundation due to observation, interaction and discussions with my experiences.

Now, this is not a plug and play situation because in dealing with subs there is a plethora of things from moment to moment to address. Combined with their roles of leading in their vanilla lives and you get s types that have a hard time, can't or won't accept the hiearchy of D/s.  I have witnessed and experienced this thoroughly. The idea of transferring your vanilla ways to D/s doesn't work.  And just because you say you have been in the lifestyle for so many years doesn't mean that you know what you are doing or how things should go either.  So you have to correct them when they overstep their role and boundaries, let them go or remove them.

The target on me is big as they hunt, me the Big Game. So called dominants and submissives with their mouths open wide to speak on things that they know nothing about and are too afraid to come to the source and find out.  And my favorites...the fraudulent, facade of doms and subs show and prove why I have to be careful about who I have, associate and deal with.


So, they can keep taking their best shots....

Poetic Expression: Big Gift in a Small Package

Big Gift in a Small Package

A reason to smile

To laugh

Again

After wave upon wave of

Substandard estrogen adventures

Intimate communication

Mixed with desired revelation

Active interested projection

Amid the laughter and silliness

Direct correlation to accomplishing

Wants and desires

Wow

Someone that actually

Wants a relationship

Something more than a

Gone with the Wind

Whim

Every now and then

A taste of the

Nectar of what

Love and relationships

Are supposed to be

Just when there was nothing left

Gave up on females being anything more than

A plug in play thing

This unexpected gift arrived

The gift that keeps on giving

Proof that there is a woman left

On this planet

Unique and special gifts

Make me happy

This is just what I need

Thankfully

From the chocolatezeus collection   12/27/16  ©

This is what you do with a red solo cup: E-40 "RED CUP" Feat. T-Pain, Kid Ink & B.O.B.

asstastic

E-40 "Slappin" feat. Nef The Pharoah & D.R.A.M

chick got a nice ass and body

One of the Best Videos EVER!!! DJ Snake, Lil Jon - Turn Down for What

Exactly: Lil Scrappy - No Problem (uncensored + video)

Still throwing it up for the ABM, X Men and Evil Inc.

Damn I needed a laugh too lol

This is the Party I need

The Mood: Out here trying to Function

Oh Yeah!

E-40 & Too $hort - Dump Truck ft. Travis Porter, Young Chu

Bitch Toot it up!!

The Movement: E-40 "SAVAGE" Feat. Jazzy Pha & B-Legit

Keeping the drink flowing. Liquor flow...on the roll.

Christmas is Upon Me

This is one of the first times I have spent a quiet Christmas by myself in a very long time. The parental units are at the house and I have spent a few days here in Waterford. Just drinking, eating, writing and trying to figure out how to play the game second life.

There is concern from people that I am spending this day alone fully. That there is some form of depression or something I guess. I just don't want to be around the parental units, their daughter and whoever else will be over there so I am thankful for being able to hang out here.

It is not that I don't want to spend time with someone or don't enjoy myself. I would love to enjoy the day with someone who loves me and I loved. I miss the christmas' with my Chocolate Doll, no matter if it was just us or with other people involved.

I have enjoyed watching a bunch of Dr Who, kung fu and westerns these days. My ribs are seasoned and I am already into my 4th drink. Next up is putting the ribs on the grill and do the dressing shortly. Oh and more drinks of course.

Well, I hope everyone enjoys their Christmas and their gifts.

SALUD!!!

The Mood: Spice - So Mi Like It (Raw)

I need that SPICE in my life right now!!!

Hope and Poetry: Hope Still Breathes

Hope Still Breathes

It is good to smile

From interactions and thoughts of you

To enjoy the conversation

The showing of

Interest and importance

Seemingly

Outdated and outlandish things

To people these days

To delve

Into communicative delights

Shared experiences

Carnal desires

Make things more than

The usual just bareable situation

Instead

I look forward to you

In every aspect

Every day and night

The test of time

Has been shattered

With the unexpected

That hated relationship thing

These days

So

We maneuver

Oblivious to what others do

Leave them to their

Running and hiding

Fear of intimacy with another being

We embrace

Laugh and intwine together

Throwbacks to a time

Where relationships were

Wanted and less of

What is yours is mine

State of mind

A light in modern day idiodicy

As I hold onto what

We share vigorously

I am merely thankful

For the reprieve

The last bastion in relationship

Normalcy

You and me

From the chocolatezeus collection  12/23/16  ©

Poetic Reality: Displaced Remnants

Displaced Remnants

A vision of you permeates my mind

Thoughts of what ifs and what I thought

Tattered ribbons

Of my heart and mind

Love, marriage and life

That was the wishful design

The prize

But it was met with an oppositional divide

Defense mechanism or fearful design

Your availability screams

DENIED

Attempted relationship

An actual situation ship

Glimpses of love, relation and importance

All of them cremated before

There was even a chance to happen

Evidence in

Shown lack of interest and importance

Inability to attend to anything other than yourself

Anti-supportive and giving

What started out as

The big bang theory

Transmuted and fizzled to

A dying Duracell

A defibulator

Sparks and shock needed

Otherwise

This telltale path

Is already apparently

Set

From the chocolatezeus collection  12/23/16  ©

The Bourne Sanction

The week has been trying.

There continues to be some detrimental, personal reveals this week. Good to know where things stand as much as possible. And being able to see the facade of a former female was enlightening in all it's glory. lol

The parental units and their daughter need to be in the vacuum of space.

Yeah, it is the holiday. And in talking to little one I realize how important the holiday is for so many. And that there is concern for me since it has little meaning for me. I mean I am not married anymore so there is no one close like that for it to matter now. If someone achieved that then I will re-enter the realm of enjoying and being excited about the holidays.  Otherwise I am Good.

The Rogue One: a star wars story, was alright. Nothing spectacular. Well, except the new fighters, ships, tank and stuff tech wise that was in it. It definitely is a one shot, stand alone movie that ends where Star Wars: A New Hope immediately begins.

It has definitely been intersting and given me even more to think about this week. Thinking man lives life very intricately.


Well...
The keys to arm everything are turned to the safety off position.
The red fire button is flashing at me with a great smile.
And I am hovering over that red button with glee since it has already been used clandestinely this year on a couple of people and things.

Enjoy your night.

Good Riddance to

I am thankful as the year ends that a number of people and things have been excommunicated. Lessons learned.

I will never deal with someone so fucked up and mentally damaged.

No to the tree hugging, non cooking whiney chicks from the north.

If you can't be real and honest then stop whining and playing the victim.

I am not nor will I ever be captain save a hoe or a sub.

Being shown why as a Dominant you habe to be careful about trust and being with a sub was bery evident.

Just like the vanilla world there are crazy, fucked up in the head chicks that need to only be in their own little fucked up world.

I don't trust monkeys or hoes.

Definitely not going to cater the unworthy.

I don't negotiate woth terrorists.

And I am thankful for the dead weight, unintelligent,  psychotic females that have been removed from my existence.

This has made me very glad I was wary about these individuals and kept everything in check. You can see the frauds when the fire is hot amd they can't handle it. They have to run because that is all they know. And I glad to let them crawl back into their bed bug and rat infested existence.

The joy of being rid of them all is delightful!

Rollercoaster Week Recap

The last week has been interesting. Well actually the last two weeks have been. Plenty of things revealed, thought about, learn and discussed.

I had a great discussion with an author, screen writer and producer named Kamuela Kaneshir. We talked about being and maintaining creativity in writing as well as how movies and tv shows have no originality anymore. He turned me on to a new book series to read called Discworld. And I have been reading his master thesis called Genre Analysis: The Gangster, The Evolved Detective and The Dark Knight, which I have enjoyed thoroughly and see why it has been used in college courses. It was enlightening since I have written poetry most of my life and a few stories as well.

Talking with lil Tigger has been in depth. Talking to a fellow poet, someone who understands the dark side a bit and has known me for over a decade makes for plenty of great conversations.  We talked a lot about dating, relationships and atrocity of life today. We agreed on how silly it is to make someone wait around for years before you open up and actually commit to them. Then wonder why their interest has waned or disappeared. She is still a little spitfire that is for sure since the time we met years ago. It is hard to believe that she will be 60 next year though and looks like she is in her 40s.

There have been plenty of discussions about identities in the lifestyle. I have talked about it with veterans on both sides of the slash and more. Personally I do not see brats, pets and things like those that are all listed on fet and everywhere as an identity. I see those as personalities and not identities. Of course it is not popular with many but oh well. I have two babygirls and I am a Daddy Dominant to them when they exhibit those personalities. (rare as they may be...lol)  Originally I was against being called a Daddy Dominant because of the connotation and outlook. But then I realized that I have been that for a very long time, even before I started in this lifestyle. First and foremost I am a Dominant, then I am Daddy Dominant to them. So yes mine can curl up, play, color and all with, me the Evil One.

little one has been going through it. So, there have been plenty of things to adjust and guide. I am hoping that she can enjoy her love of the holiday more. And me being direct in supporting her poly lifestyle has been taken harshly because of how I am a direct communicator. But she will work on understanding that more.

lil red is her usual weird self. I have to say that there has been some learning lately about her since now she is more available. Bringing harley out definitely helped (licking lips wickedly). Discussions about the past and future have occurred a tiny bit which is a big difference from the nonchalant, closed off way things have been. Progress is a good thing. She has made an effort which was very important and necessary. We will see what will be next on the learning and experience train. But I look forward to time together. I want another Mr Wolf and harley episode!

The parental units have really changed the landscape of being here. So there is no peace. And it made me miss my family. (family was my wife and is my aunt)  There have been concern because I am not in a holiday spirit but I normally am not that way. Well, I haven't been that way since I was married.  I think I want to support the troops on Christmas maybe next year if I get a chance like I use to do as a kid.

My anger remains at a supernova level. My heart and soul are somewhere out there in the universe. Love is like an assassination. And life unscripted only get's crazier.


I am sure there will be more later. But for now will leave it here.

Relating: The Life Unscripted Way

They call me a teddy bear. I am more like a prehistoric bear with the ability to be a teddy bear if you are worth it and warrant it. I do come with references that will let you know the alternative to the teddy bear mentality. They are on the excommunicated and monkey lists.

Good conversation, attention, involvement and working on what we have are the things that keep me at peace and comfortable.

My girl and I talk about the silly stuff, psychology and craziness. Because that is the comfort level between us. We can talk about much of the things that can't be discussed with someone else without issues galore.

My sub, we discuss the relation stuff that she has with her dating stuff and things. Act a little silly at times.

Then I have the things I share with Ru. It is almost everything since she is the closest to me until someone else decides to be in that circle that isn't her. But this is where I can be myself and say whatever without attitude, female interpretation or anything else crazy.

But I had to laugh talking to pegasus and lil bear lately. From talking about getting married to why we can't stand the other genders.  We discuss the past and all the silly things that we have done together and experienced. These were conversations that were fun and crazy without a filter.

I am content with my relations. They are where they are and the individuals are doing and at a place where they can handle things and I don't expect anything more from them. People function at their ability and level.

Understanding.
Acceptance.

Yes...Life Unscripted.

you have no clue! lol

Another recipient of the monkey bitch award

I had to laugh when I saw the notification.

Realized that a fucked up ex once again decided to join the monkey bitch universe.

It really wasn't that shocking. When you are sensitive, damaged female that is a brat and only wants to have their way then you have to expect the proclivity to become one with the rest of the fucked up females.

Just say no to fucked up, clueless, sensitive females and find you a woman. It is worth it and less issues, drama and psychosis!

Marking the new monkey bitch name down on the monkey bitch list.

oh, what a wonderful thing!

My Protocol Journey

Protocol
In bdsm the way that hiearchy is shown and maintained.

Starting out last year with creating protocols for the two submissives it was a matter of thinking, implementing and cobbling together things.

I didn't create high protocols because I wasn't expecting to be at community events with the two I had for a while. That way they could become comfortable with the protocols that I have given them.

The protocols established their position in the dynamic. Besides maintaining low protocol to be accustomed to things it was there for reasons of safety, accountability and situational.

My protocol examples:

Documenting your movement to me. Meaning, letting me know when you are leaving to go somewhere and when you arrive and where.  This is a matter of safety and attention to scheduling and things that need to be done.  There was some backlash from this from the previous submissive but that merely reinforced my requirement for it.

Eating and exercising protocols:

These are in place to maintain nutritional and physical balance for health. I want them to make sure they are eating properly and maintaining a proper diet. The exercising is to promote a healthy body.

Communication:

Put in place to communicate with me fully and properly. To speak after asking to speak.  To not hold back things from me. Here is where things grow, are explored and addressed.

Service:

Those things I require you to do. From the housekeeping to when I ask you to bake me some cookies and send them to me. Tasks and needs that I make known will be followed. This is where you are my service whore. That doesn't mean sex. Service is honoring our dynamic and you as my submissive.

These three things are a few examples.

My protocols have been seen as difficult. But that is just because of their dominant personalities in their vanilla life. But it is a change in their lives and that is not an easy thing. Change is not easy. Especially for those that are use to calling the shots and getting their way. That is why I don't deal with bratty females.

Well...
Just a little insight to protocols and my journey in it. Next year there will be more protocols I am sure since you have to grow and develop.

Until then

Obey the Order of My Chaos

Your torture is my Peace...I Am a SADIST!

I am a sadist obviously if you have read enough by now. And it is a delicious intoxicant that brings me peace, happiness and so much pleasure. Many have no understanding of this. The base of primal expression and pleasure.

When I had the adventure with the awakening of harley this year I stepped past the boundary that I had set up previously. Because my sadistic needs, nature and want are a deep well inside of Alice's rabbit hole. That moment when I saw and felt harley be released the Beast growled and grinned. The Beast had a bigger taste than it had previously and wanted to go into Warp Factor 20.

Each moment I looked at her as I flogged, punished her pussy and twisted her body my carnal desires, excitment and ecstasy screamed with glee. I looked into her  dark eyes while I choked her and pulled her hair and saw that grip of fear, pleasure and pain made me want to go Super Saiyan on her.

The whole entire time I was in ecstasy. Wanting to give more and more pain and distress. I just want to hurt and break harley FULLY! Do all these nasty, humiliating and debasing things to her. I long to use her so fully that all she can do is curl up and let the tears flow when I finish. Whimpering and deeply lost in subspace and linked fully to me, finally.

You can say that this fed my craving and only made it stronger. So now I am chomping at the bit to take the next scene a lot further.

*licking my lips and my mind drooling*
I just can't wait for another intimate and pleasure filled meeting.

    Come Feed the Beast

I lick my lips

Dipped in visions

Carnal anticipation

Your pain

My pleasure

Your fear

My liquor

Your distress

My peace

My longing

To break you

Take away all that makes you

Leaving behind

Your independent, intelligent

Womanhood

Broken

Beaten

As I look into your

Eyes clouded with fear

The marks upon your skin

Each cringe in anticipation of

The next implement strike

We are in an altered

State of being

An intimacy of

Alpha and omega

Intensity

Feed me

Keep feeding me

Increase my

Insatiability

I smile and grin

Endlessly

As I can’t wait

For the next scene

You and me

Entwined intimately

From the pain inflicted

So deliciously

Craving deeply

Awaiting the next time

I can work on

Breaking you

Completely

From the chocolatezeus collection  11/30/16  ©

Na na na na na Batman: the Return of the Caped Crusaders review

This was an animation tribute to the old style batman and robin series.

Here is your spoiler alert before reading any further.

We had the old style batmobile. The rhyming word choices and all. lol

Even the whole moral story line.

They used the basic characters from the original series. The main ones were the Joker, Riddler, Penguin and Catwoman. They looked just like the show with the Joker in his purple suit and all.

This was an interesting remake because it reminded me of the tv show and how it always had a moral to the story and values to be learned and kept. Batman and Robin are being the deputized civil servants that we saw in the old series. Following all the laws. (Well, except speeding in the chase scenes...lol)

The interesting thing was when Batman was poisoned by Catwoman and turned his morality code off. When he decides to take over Gotham and then the world with replicas of him it shows the duality of who Batman is and why him and the Joker are the same. Batman becomes very direct and violent in this role. Giving way to his primal instincts and goal of achieving the removal of lawlessness. Hell, he even pimped out the batmobile. lmao

As usual he has a contingency plan in place for being turned and is saved by Alfred. But up to that point it is funny and shows why there is the Dark Knight storyline.

Many of the original cast that are still alive did their own voice overs in this. Of course Adam West reprised his Batman role. They even had a vision of the different catwomen at one point. Even to include the sexy Eartha Kitt version.

But the most comedy was watching the bat dance at the closing credits and in the movie when he is performing for himself and the audience. Combine that with Catwoman basically doing the "rumpshaker" during the closing credits and you got some entertainment. lol

This is definitely a good remake. Shows where the show began and how it is so different today.

Check it out for yourself and reminisce.

You Can Get with this or you can get with that (Black Sheep)...Week Recap

The week definitely had it's range of motion. From craziness to annoyance and the need to restructure.  Thanksgiving rolled on by nice and peacefully thank you very much. That meant no parental units, relatives I don't want to be bothered with or other humans. All I did was hit my Aunts house and see them and my cousin down from jersey. And his girl reminded me about the reason why I have a don't bother with ny or nj females policy. lmao

People were still concerned about me being alone. But even when I am with people, in relations and all i am still alone and it is fine. I don't have them issues.  Which brought up a good convo my gurl JD and I were having. *evil laughter*

JD and I were discussing dating, marriage and the differences with genders and things today. She is older than I am and had her experiences and i have had my crazy Life Unscripted.

So we talked about people claiming relations and they only want situations. Or playing the waiting game for years until they make up their mind a decade down the road. These are the way of the people out there. I am the opposition to it all because I make a decision, state what I think, feel and the goal, then drop the mic and let you decide how to take the information. I did that previously and I did it with the two chicks I am involved with now.

Here are the issues with posturing and doing the hurry up wait routine when comes to relations or even pretend relations.  It only weakens anything that you may have thought you had after a period of time without interest, maintenance and progress. After a time period people get bored with being on hold and that is it and will move on or diminish things.  The posturing happens because females are mortified about being vulnerable and or rejected. So they want that sit back, wait and let me run you through hoops to try and make myself feel better type of situation. Just stop being scared. Take chances and live instead of cowering.

Trying to select gifts for the two is difficult because they are difficult. lol So have to come up with two christmas gifts and one birthday. I have already picked out options. And that was especially necessary for ms indiana. lol

Drinking, eating and smoking. That sounds like the best plan until I can get some steady sex and play added to the mix on a regular basis. Not getting my needs fed much makes me a super evil, angry, violent, mega horny, black man.  No apologies given!

On that note i am going to look at my videos and think about how I need to destroy, break and dismember harley mentally and physically to my delicious delight and personal pleasure.

Sayonnara

Thanks...No Giving

I was appreciative of people being worried and concerned about me spending the day by myself. I don't think they quite understood that it was just fine for me. I haven't been concerned about spending time with someone on thanksgiving since I was married and when I was dating my wife. I am not with anyone like that now so it really doesn't even enter my mind at all.

A nice quiet day was spent with me eating and drinking. I didn't even turn the tv on at all. Enjoying ribs, swan, dressing and tater salad.

Wasn't even planning on leaving the house outside of the yard to smoke. But since my cousin was down with his girlfriend from nj I figured I would swing out to bolivia and see him at Auntie's.

Of course thinking was in full effect during the quietness along with working on some models. Plus I had to go over the jobs I have applied to all over the world.

Change has come and yelled Domino Bitch!

It is time to reconstitute life and get back to being the Ultimate Me. Had to step back and understand my mistakes and lack of strictness in life recently.

So, it is all good. Looking forward to more travel and re-established adventures of Life Unscripted.

As I blow smoke. Wish you well. PSSITA!!

Burger King Submissives, dommes and female dominants...oh my LMFAO

I have personally interacted with subs, dommes and female dominants and find it educational and entertaining.

Submissives that want to whine, complain and be brats to get their way. Saying that they are not happy and that a Dominant needs to change what they already explained and negotiated with them. Hmmm, that sounds like you are just not adult enough to discuss, express, negotiate or act appropriately.  Whether in vanilla life or D/s I really am not the man that a female will be able to control or remake.

dommes, female dominants or whatever else they want to call themselves need to get a grip and understand what being a Dominant truly is. I am not addressing those that actually are Dominants and females, merely the pretenders. For the pretenders it is time to stop coming up to someone and telling them that they are a submissive for stupid reasons like they asked you a question or because you said so. And the classic getting upset because I don't address female dominants in my general discussions where I use the word Dominant need to stop. You are trying to hard so you are merely a fucking fraud.


Know yourself. Step up and be honest with yourself so you can be honest with someone else. If there are things that you are not sure about or are interested in then say that no matter how far fetched it may be.

Some are not meant to be submissives, some are great ones and others have to figure out how they are one for themselves. I have come across and experienced the whole gamut.

So step up, learn and be yourself.

This burger king, have it your way bullshit only makes you a loser.

Poetic Relevance: At One With the Void

At One With the Void

The darkness

Coats

Cloaked in the coldness

Peering into the

Emptiness

Remnants of

Times and memories

Are they supposed to

Soothe me?

Their existence

Merely the petri dish

Underneath life’s

Microscope

Each feeling

Peeled back

Exposed

Emotional content

Decompressed

Every intimate connect

Sucked out of the

Airlock of existence

Observing from outside

Others feelings and emotions

Tilting my head at their

Self-evident irrelevances

A place

Where I will never be

This void is where I will be

Comfortable

Peacefully

From the chocolatezeus collection   11/20/16  ©

Ronin: Life Unscripted

Rōnin

A rōnin was a samurai with no lord or master during the feudal period of Japan. A samurai became masterless from the death or fall of his master, or after the loss of his master's favor or privilege.

This truly fits. It has fit since I lived in Japan and has become even more so currently than in the past. 

in my life I apply universal principles when it comes to dating, vanilla and D/s relations. These things are my own and designed for and by me. 

• I am not changing who and what I am to make you feel better about yourself. Accept and understand.
• I have chosen you for a specific role in my life. 
• We will be together for as long as you choose to maintain, work on and cherish our relation.
• There will be no chasing after you before, during or after we interact.
• Any interpretation or comparison to others will be incorrect. So get to know me for me.
• You will not get your way. So bratty, whining females need not apply for an application.
• if it doesn't work out, then we won't be friends and all close. We can be cordial if things were not violated but close or friends will not be an option.

These and some other things have been core values and tend to serve me rather well. Well, expect when I go out on a limb and do experiments I shouldn't have. But that is part of the ole college and boy scout try.

Looking at relations, dynamics and what was I realized I let so much slide. I was so lenient about things that really put things in disarray from the beginning.  Letting things go in negotiations because I felt it wasn't as important as the experience. Agreeing to things that were not ideal for me. Well, no need to cry over spilled milk. It all happened and i learned. So when it is time for me to get a sub and a slave then things will be in a more proper perspective.

I even had to re-evaluate the status of the D/s dynamic I had and the dating issues.  Realizing this is where things are and where I let them go. Semper Fi motherfucker!!!

In my relations compartmentalization is such a terrible word for them. They cringe, guesstimate and try to anticipate what will happen. And that anticipation has been what has really caused a lot of issue. I compartmentalize and adjust things constantly. Because things have to be tweaked in order to work and function at their best efficiency.

In compartmentalizing I don't express much. Hell, I express even less than I already do not express. And that level has gone back to what it was before i was married. Even with my Ru. It was weird at first but I realized I was using outdated and expired data in a completely different situation. 

I realize it is hard for the two that I deal with to accept and understand how I am. And they have come a long way from back in the day.  And i am thankful for their effort and attempts. Bless their hearts.

The journey continues. And this ABM continues rolling along like the Battle of the Bulge. 

"I am not paying for the same real estate twice!!"

-Gen. George S. Patton-

Poetic Memory: 8 Years

8 Years

Time flies

When there isn’t

Any

Cue up

Etta James’

At Last

So that the fairy tale can

Begin

The sunlight shown bright

Bathed in your

Curves

Devastating smile

Captivated

I could hear the

Gasps, oohhs and ahhs

Then the heartfelt

Cries

The sounds created by strangers

Sunbathing on the beach

The Calla Lilly Queen

Friend and lover of most things

Beloved among the masses

Coming to be with me

The evil, demon, ABM King

Hated and detested for so many things

Chauvinist and anti-human being

Like two towers

There upon the beach

We stood

Towering

As the waves crashed

The sobs were heard

Time etched in eternity

As I accepted fully

That I had found my eternity

Her purity

My depravity

Joined by two rings

Burning incandescently

In the fiery pits of Mordor

We became

The One Ring

Holy grail achieved

The Titans

Angelic Queen

Evil, Demonic King

From the chocolatezeus collection  11/15/16  ©

All Hail the Fallout

Between people and the election, their normal stupidity, the people I have been related to and everything shit hit the fan even more.

People are interesting when they try to tell you about yourself, what you think, feel and do.

This 4th quarter has been one of removal of people that just shouldn't be on the ship in the first place. I have seen and learned alot about humans lately, especially females.

So, I am going to laugh as I continue being the hated, asshole, evil, mean bastard that I am.

As usual, I will absorb, analyze and cut the head off of everything and move forward.  But it did piss me off.

My family equals:
Me, Myself and I
Adrienne
and Auntie

All hail the culling!!

Doomsday

Poetic Moments...Relationship: Chopped and Skrewed

Relationship: Chopped and Skrewed

Began like Rocky
My declaration and honesty
Direct punch to the face

Love is what was sought
Intimacy and relationship
That stood out

Oh wait
I wanted and needed
Relationships that stood out
My fault

You tell me you love me
Claim my importance to you
We mean something

Then I am equated to
Your girlfriends
Your friends
And other things

My head tilted
Thoughts of chunking the deuce

As I hear you say
I want and need to feel
Special and important

Or

So nonchalant
That I wonder if
A relationship is even
What you wanted

Focused on equality
For those that are not even
In our relationship scene

Importance
Uniqueness
Meaning

The things that are
Chopped and skrewed
And not even in a
Good H-town good beat
Way

Messages
Understood
Retained

Lights, camera, action
The only remains

from the chocolatezeus collection  11/10/16

Poetic Moments: Close Proximity to Infinity

Close Proximity to Infinity

I watch the tumble weed blow by

Blinking as I gather my thoughts again

Thinking

Wait

I thought we were closer than this

That we were steppers

Twirling and dancing together

Cheek to cheek

To our own beat

The old western barren town music

Weighs in

It’s horning giving my heart

Credence

Left to ponder

The evidence

Then versus now

Undocumented relevance

Apples and oranges

Comparisons

Or was this all a dream

Like Biggie rapped

Filled with dreams and promises

Pink elephants

And the happily ever after

Obituary aftermath

It is hard

Slippery slope

To hold on and grasp

Station keeping

Amid the ultimate storms

All I can do is

Tilt my hat

Pull up my scarf upon my face

Feel the pelt of the

Sands of time

Left to see

Just how the sands of time

Will affect these

Intimate moments and times

From the chocolatezeus collection  11/7/16  ©

Committment: Burger King Style

After a conversation about commitment poly vs mono lifestyle I find myself really looking at the difference and chasm between females and men.

So the ultimate poly people feel that there is no commitment to them if who they are with is married and says their wife is everything. As I stated if the relationship is still what you want and hasn't changed the fact that they have a deep connection with their wife shouldn't make a difference. But then again I am NOT a female. This need and ideology of competition between females gets really crazy most of the time.  Why is there a need to compare themselves to others is beyond me.

Add to that the whole disgust and disbelief in marriage and relationships for most females. And with that you got a wonderful clusterfuck. Now, if you don't want marriage, relationships or whatever then by all means enjoy. Just stop dabbling with and having issues with those that want, believe in and are into those things.

For myself there is a difference. I am not married, but I was. And I had the greatest relationship with my wife in that short period of time. Does that mean that I cannot love and be deeply committed to another female? No, I wouldn't be in the two relationships that I have currently if that was the case. Especially with the way females are and if I let my experiences in the dating bullshit affect everything.

Me, Myself and My Commitment

Loving and being married to my wife was a very precious thing. No one or anything will detract, compare or emulate that. And I do not want any to disrespect me and attempt to.

My commitment is given based on what I feel, see and choose with an individual based on who and what they present. The need for females to do this comparison and competition thing is unnecessary. Just like I am not doing that about males they done had and all that. Either we ride and you accept me for me or you die and get left as a footnote in my history.

You can see it as harsh, unfeeling and uncaring but there is the wall of china there for all to understand and choose what side they want to be on. I can and will be committed to you but that is only if you are down for the same thing and realize I am not you, anyone you know or anyone else and I won't emulate them either.


Sooo..

If you need things your way and to go your way.  Then burger king's motto is "you can have it your way."  That has never and will never work over here.  The references will tell you.

Salud

Poetic Expression: You vs. Them: Winning

You vs. Them: Winning

Each caress of your face

Soothing and comforting

I feel the connection

The energy

Flowing

Your acceptance

Understanding

Abilities

You understand

Your importance

The connection

Your place

With me

I bask in your smile

Feeding off of you

Tethered in

Intoxication

Fully

No one equals

Equate to

What we have

The you and me

Heart beat props

As you dance upon my soul

Our adventure

Soul stirring

Just a few of the reasons

That you stand out

Have been chosen

And remain a part of me

From the chocolatezeus collection  11/1/16  ©

After the Garden...the Aftermath

After the Garden

I knew what I was in for from the beginning

Looking at the damaged petals

Wilted and dead vegetation

Struggled with the decision

Do I want to be bothered

Is it worth handling

Or this just another disaster

Waiting?

No pleasure

No joy anticipated

Merely results that were needed

I chose

Fought with the death as a whole

A garden bent on things being

Status quo

So I destroyed each flower

Tore each petal off

Salted the earth

Turned something dead into

Something different

Able to have a future other than

It’s previous fucked up course

My weather turned cold

Realizing that the garden would be gone

Never ready to be my own

No feelings

Project incomplete to my standards

But better than before

Apathy in place

Nothing left to care for

Oh well

Let the garden go

It’s on it’s own

And my learning curve

Has astronomically grown

The death

Warming and comforting

Soothing my soul

From the chocolatezeus collection  11/1/16  ©