Logic and analysis components engaged!
Of course I am thinking as usual. After all my brain has not caught up with me being dead just yet. And heavy on rotation is my D/s journey along with my Dominant evolution.
Discussing who was my first submissive and started this journey in bdsm. Plus the what about marriage and dynamics conversations.
I was married to a woman that was excellent. I realized that she was my first submissive, whore, slut and full kinkster. She was my 50's household woman with our modern adjustments. So for those first years I was introduced into bdsm before I officially began my learned journey.
She served me physically, spiritually and more. She was my service whore and fucktoy at all times. I managed and dictated to her and she followed. I had tamed the dominant, independent, sexy and everybody wanted woman to be mine.
Back rubs and massages. Meals cooked. Seeking approval and guidance. Serving made and kept her happy. As she became my daily sex slave. The only way that it could have been better was if we were doing some kink play for the whip cream on top.
A year of vetting and consideration led to her collaring aka wedding ring. It was a time of finding lines of communication, establishing hierarchy and roles. Where my unknown D/s began. Discussing the things that are important and required to her. The attention to detail, the focus, duty and being my slut.
This is where it all began. over two years of her service and dedication to me and our relationship.Giving me the taste of the craving that was already ingrained in me. Until it all came to an end when she died. In the way only she would want to. Cummin and going at the same time.
Dropping into the current time line:
I have chosen to learn and grow properly in this lifestyle. Invested in it more than I was when I was active in the swinger lifestyle. Most of my heaviest learning coming from summer of last year to now. And I know it wasn't all the best things that happened always. There were my mistakes miscommunication and all.
A year spent with a weird, interesting, dynamite sub. One that I have had a hard time stabilizing, strengthening and creating a deep D/s relation with. It is not simple like someone else but it is what I desired and wanted. So the journey continues through the landmines, labyrinth and Chinese finger puzzles.
The dynamic has shown me the juxtapose differences between subs and individuals. Teaching me that I have to work hard with this and put forth effort to get it where I want it to be. For as long as it is in the direction and purpose that is sought. Seeing the key of making, communicating and showing the destination and way to achieve the goal of the dynamic. Fighting the walls of trust, communication, personalities and issues can be the enemy.
But here is the thing. The difficulties in waiting, working on, navigating the minefields and timing are steps to what is the goal at the end. To have the established dynamic that I already have seen and know how grand it is. Getting there with two individuals is the test.
I have seen and experienced different types of subs.
The subs that are so ready to serve and please me are less of an issue in that aspect. But they still require guidance, assignments, attention and individual address to keep them happy, growing and moving forward in the dynamic.
Here is the non glamour thing:
In D/s you deal with subs with their real life aspects. Not just when it is the perfect time to be kinky. That means issues at work, loss of loved ones, mental and physical issues and more. This is when you have to gauge how best to support, give space and handle things. And it is hard to find the right way to react for a while. It takes time, connection, communication and observation to be able to handle it. Hot flashes, mood swings and periods are going to happen. Often and frequently I have experienced. It is all part of management that is required and the commitment that i have placed upon me and my dynamic.
Started out in an unknown D/s relationship with Chocolate Doll. Then started a true and actual knowledge based D/s relationship with lil red.
And here I am. Through the good, the bad and the ugly. Pressing forward to attain the goal of the dynamic that I seek with lil red in the way that is apparent and superior to me.
There you go. Some insight.
Grab your chimichanga's and let's Deadpool tonight!!
