It has been a minute since I posted with everything going on. Back to back to overflowing back. But let us dive into it shall we.
Was supposed to go to a 3 day swing party the past weekend. A reunion for the nc group I was active in back in the day. There was not going to be anyone there I was interested in or wanted to fuck but I felt I should go and spread my evil. lol Just wanted to go watch, drink, eat and be entertained. For whatever reason it was cancelled for oh well.
Between the swinging thing and everything that has been going on with people that I am close to and know. Just like with swinging things and my association with people have changed drastically. There were those that I was close to and could trust and now they are no longer there. Relations, relationships, love and caring have died or been removed from the equation.
I am always the one that is there or others or attempting to be there. Even when they think, feel or I am not there in the exact way that they want to tell me to be. I have been told that I don't ask for help or support like I should and that is probably the case. The few times I do ask I try not to ask for much. But I have learned to stick to just me, myself and I.
Giving of myself has been revoked a whole lot in the last year. Pretty much it is dwindled down to one person long term, one person medium term and one new person. The pool use to be bigger but due to people's choices that was fixed. I have a big heart and will walk through hell within hell with those I let into my circles. But when you violate and choose to not be there then I will be on the opposite end of the curve.
There is a lot more of this stuff to say but enough of that...
In BDSM the look at growth has really been expounded. From the way that I vet, consider and choose potential submissives and slaves to the rules, protocols and unconditional things that are required to be in a dynamic or in that fact even a relation with me. I learned thoroughly and heavily from my dealings with red and little one super especially. And it has made for a better iron clad, working life. Learned not to make the same mistakes or accept things like I did previously.
New toys on deck. And boy they make me happy. It has gotten to the point the old toy bag is very inadequate now. And especially when the latest piece is finished in time for next month. And I am looking forward to this flogging circle experience coming up. This will definitely be unique.
The parental unit and his daughter continue to be more pieces of work.
The battles and war continue. As there is no end in sight just yet. But tis what I have to do to get to the other side.
Next up is the anniversary. Then trip out of country for some relaxation. It is way overdue.
Time to unpack and get things together before the parental unit showed up
