Next weekend is Spanksgiving. It is going to be the biggest CTX event thus far. Which shows the growth from 3 years ago to now. It still shocks me that I am this involved in it. All the way from NC to TX. But, I am security and one of those that work on the events. This year I will even have help. Both little one and babycakes are volunteering, along with babycakes doing her first presentation in the lifestyle on final preparations in the lifestyle. I am proud of them and their journey.
I am still shocked at the interest in and number of scenes that I will be doing. The most ever I think. This is definitely going to be one for the Life Unscripted books. Scenes negotiated, even for who won me for the auction.
Between the scene negotiations and discussions about journies, desires and things missing the conversations I have had with slaves and subs have been outstanding. To hear and be of help with ideas and objectivity made me feel warm in this cold, dead heart. lol Something about hearing and helping with someone ideas and goals.
Now to the entertainment portion...
In discussions and reflections on the past I find these things funny when it comes to females I have heard, been witnessed to and experienced things like:
I want someone to love me for me, but I have to change how he is because it bothers me (in a situationship.)
I need a break so we can get back together after x amount of time. I love you too much and have to find myself.
Don't talk to me, I can't stand or deal with you. (after you give them the distance they want.) I knew you weren't going to talk to me again. (lol I did what you asked.)
These things are baffling but definitely funny.
Time to pack to leave tomorrow. Then get prepared to eat and beat plenty of ass in a few days.
Saturday, November 09, 2019
Wednesday, November 06, 2019
Love and Dating: the Fallacy Experience
These things have been a hot topic since I talk to a few people. And even with the girls.
Much of the disconnect with others and me is that their attempt to place their mat of personal understanding and their experiences upon me. I am anti everything in that aspect. The key is to listen, understand Me and accept Me as Me.
So many send and want representatives instead of the real deal. Sadly, that is the way they have been socialized and taught.
I have always hated dating. That was one of the many reasons that I was glad when I didn't have to do it anymore.
The girls have their issues with dating because they are my property. And guys want to be number one. They don't understand that they can enjoy whatever relationship they have with the girls. I still don't know why that boy last year got upset with little one because I said I wasn't meeting or interacting with him.
I love hard and fully. And it has taken serious education within myself to deal with things that are only seen and understood by me now. Hell, I even surprised myself when I spoke to red and told her my issue and gave her a chance to resolve it if she chose. For once I didn't excommunicate and walk away (extremely shocking.) I loved the hell out of that girl. But growth had to happen. And that growth did. I put the ball in their court and let them choose their path. Then go from that point.
Dating is still something I want. But now I really don't feel anything about it other than there is a need for someone that fits, can handle it and be active. And those things seem very difficult for people to do. So I am apathetic.
Will see where the twin goes. mahoganie and pegasus chose their paths with inability to follow through and I left that alone.
There are things, times, people that I miss but I can't make them communicate, love themselves, want to be loved or have a relationship. And that is all good
It's funny that things are different but yet the same with more power So my need for a monogamous chick to date and a slave is real. Time will reveal and show the way as it has already.
As I continue to walk through the fallacies of relations, relationships, dating and love. I will not fear love because I am love and no one can define or take that away.
Back to these dating discussions it seems now with folk. Ta ta for now. lol
Much of the disconnect with others and me is that their attempt to place their mat of personal understanding and their experiences upon me. I am anti everything in that aspect. The key is to listen, understand Me and accept Me as Me.
So many send and want representatives instead of the real deal. Sadly, that is the way they have been socialized and taught.
I have always hated dating. That was one of the many reasons that I was glad when I didn't have to do it anymore.
The girls have their issues with dating because they are my property. And guys want to be number one. They don't understand that they can enjoy whatever relationship they have with the girls. I still don't know why that boy last year got upset with little one because I said I wasn't meeting or interacting with him.
I love hard and fully. And it has taken serious education within myself to deal with things that are only seen and understood by me now. Hell, I even surprised myself when I spoke to red and told her my issue and gave her a chance to resolve it if she chose. For once I didn't excommunicate and walk away (extremely shocking.) I loved the hell out of that girl. But growth had to happen. And that growth did. I put the ball in their court and let them choose their path. Then go from that point.
Dating is still something I want. But now I really don't feel anything about it other than there is a need for someone that fits, can handle it and be active. And those things seem very difficult for people to do. So I am apathetic.
Will see where the twin goes. mahoganie and pegasus chose their paths with inability to follow through and I left that alone.
There are things, times, people that I miss but I can't make them communicate, love themselves, want to be loved or have a relationship. And that is all good
It's funny that things are different but yet the same with more power So my need for a monogamous chick to date and a slave is real. Time will reveal and show the way as it has already.
As I continue to walk through the fallacies of relations, relationships, dating and love. I will not fear love because I am love and no one can define or take that away.
Back to these dating discussions it seems now with folk. Ta ta for now. lol
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