Still a living hell here. Stressed, tired and no peace. And especially no way to get things done that need to be done while the parental units are around.
Lately has really made me thinking about missing my wife and someone that I can have that peace with. That person that buffers the humans from my wrath. And makes me laugh, calm down, think and feel the calm. It can be an intense position for a woman. But it is adventurous, entertaining, fun as well as educational. That peace is what I really need right now. The thing I cherish with that special person and I am eternally grateful for their ability to provide that. Whether is is merely grabbing my hand and looking at me. Or fixing me a drinking. Or Giving me a kiss as they go read or watch a program. Those simple things keep me from using 5 Deathstars on the planet.
I am still angry, disappointed, agitated and stressed. I was supposed to be enjoying learning, energy and a first time experience. Instead of stupidity and disaster.
In this current situation I really wonder about the worth of Duty. Even though it is my core I really hate that I use it with the parental units. I do what I must even though I can't stand it.
I need a serious full fledged release in a Natural Disaster way right now. I need to fuck, suck, beat, torture and more. To release the Ultimate Dark Lord of Havoc. It would greatly improve things. Including my disposition, health and the life expectancy of others.
Apocalypse Training is going. I am still dealing with the shock of doing it. I feel like a fucking health nazi now with working out and eating healthier. It just doesn't feel right or natural. But when evil ages I guess you have to deal with these changes as well. But, I have done decently. I haven't been to the letter but I have been at least half way there. More exercise than eating.
With my face and head hurting. I await the next episode of "This is Some Bullshit." Till the next time folk.
As I lay in the valley of death. I fear no evil, for I am the Evil and evil fears!
