Saturday, March 17, 2018

Poetic Moment: I Risked It All


I Risked It All



From before the moment we truly met
My desire for you licked the flames
In person the sun went nova

The journey began
I put behind my mistrust and skepticism
It was time to take a chance
For I saw a forever in those eyes

Lost in my captivation
The connection was better than a T1 line
I dove in without hesitation
After analyzing and reanalyzing everything
In my heart and mind
The reasoning I could no longer deny

Like a Shakespearean play
I professed it all
Laid at your feet every ounce of information
No pressure at all

Open
Vulnerable
Full disclosure
No pressure on you at all

Maybe that is where I fell
Or would fall

Regardless
The risk of having you
Was worth it all


From the chocolatezeus collection  3/17/18  ©

Poetic Tribute: In Love But Never Mind


In Love But Never Mind



Filled with excitement and happiness
So many episodes of you and me
Like tulips shining brightly
Tulip festival quality

Each moment together
Anticipated like winning the lottery

Adventures blossomed
More times together were fostered
Seeding each moment of deeper desire
For you and me

Your disbelief
Catalyst to show you just how much you mean to me
To make sure that you understand
This treasure that was available to you and me

I held onto it so tightly
Choking life so much that
It had no choice to feel and recognize me

Until the moment came
Where revelations were made
Reality fully explained

So I tipped my hat
Smiled and thanked for the opportunity
Bid my adieu to

You and me

So
Never mind



From the chocolatezeus collection  3/17/18  ©

Friday, March 16, 2018

Expectations and Negotiations

What do you expect...

  • from people
  • from relationships
  • from dynamics
Why do you negotiate...
  • from people
  • from relationships
  • from dynamics

These things hold the ebb and flow of things through out our existence and daily life. I see both expectations and negotiations prevalent in all things that we do that encounters another individual. 


The concept of expectation for me:

Well, I have to levels to this. There are the things that I expect myself to do in conjunction with others at their level, worth and station in my life. And there is the understanding that I expect everyone except one person to do what is in their best interest and only their best interest at all times. 

There will be plenty that see this as cynical and negative but that doesn't change the truth of the matter. When it comes down to their decisions they are only going to be concerned about themselves. Call it human nature or whatever you want. It is a constantly proven case unless they choose to have someone that they won't do that with. 


Negotiation and Me:

We negotiate everything with our interactions with people. From how much time they will get to if they can even talk to us at all. I can be subtle or overt. 

I tend to have pretty stiff negotiations because of those things that I stand on as my principles. But there have been deviations in that program. I have made the mistake of not negotiating a D/s dynamic and relationship but hindsight is a bitch. 

I feel that if I let you know my wants, desires, needs and interest then you have the information from which we can talk. And in talking about those things and the others stuff you negotiate whether you want to be bothered, if it is just something to do or if it has a deeper meaning than that.  And there we delve into if there will be communication, a relation, relationship or dynamic. 


Ahh the joys of discussion, education and experience.


How are your expectations and negotiations?

Monday, March 12, 2018

Psycho Therapy and Me

After a great read and discussion from someone I can understand there may be a point where I will see a professional before the end of this year. Especially because I am going to have to make a serious decision before the end of this year based on what is going on and has been going on or what may continue to go on from here on.

This discussion brought out the factors of truly breaking down the person that is the professional and making sure they are capable is highly important in even attempting the process.

Having heard the judgement of those that are therapists, counselors and psychologist has made me understand the pause and concern necessary. That along with their life experiences, feelings and all make them a liability mostly for me. Especially depending on their teaching and schools of thought.

So thankfully the discussion has created some interesting dialogue and thoughts.

Regardless decisions remain in place to be carried out no matter what this year. Time to streamline, refine and strengthen.

Week in Review...Cigar shop style

I am dealing with it all as usual. Making things happen and keep moving forward.

Love life is...   Yeah, that shit is fucking funny right now. Tossing the hand nuke on that and moving on.

So I have to laugh because the guys and girl at the cigar shop are looking out for me. It is funny how they be on the look out for me on kink stuff as well. Hell they looked out for me with the kilt and some toys. lol But it really is entertaining how they are shocked by how I am. As has been said I am unlike any black man that they have met. From discussion on bdsm and poly to weapon systems and political policies. the diversity struck them with awe at first and then they got use to it. Conversations are always all over the place and we solve everything daily.

The issues with the male parental unit only get worse.

I am sticking to being by myself even more except for the few new ones that keep my interest and interact with.  And I am probably going to down grade some more on the new front as well as my ongoing downgrading of known unknowns.

Things have gone on to spark creativity so I have been writing a lot. Inspirations always help inspire hot nasty sex writing and deep heartfelt expressions.

I am here within this whirlwind
reaping the Reaper
knowing my position
holding true to existence


I walk into this week amid the assaults. With the taste of darkness upon my soul.


have a great week. Make sure to invest time and effort into those who you are involved with and those things that need to be done.

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Poetry: Acceptance of Inevitability


Acceptance of Inevitability


Arms held wide
My soul saying
Come inside

Your lips
That I want to fully feel
Be engulfed within their
Sphere of loving caress

Your curves melt inside of me
With each embrace
Humanizing

I am here to
Take away your previous lives
Come rest your soul and mind
Release your confines

This connectivity
The results of needing to
Live and breathe

Right here
Our pain
Ceases and is released

Let us paint new things
Fill up our new frame
With the expressions and power
That make us
Infamous

Each kiss
Each touch
Every moment

Encapsulated
Destiny and design

Here is where we are found
Here is where love resides

Proud to have you
In my heart and soul
In my life

Now I close my eyes
The cutoff switch applied

I am just fine



From the chocolatezeus collection  3/11/18  ©

Poetic moments: This Volcanic State I am In


This Volcanic State I am In



My eyes burn
Tears somehow forming

Like a loss of control
They haunt me

Fuck feeling
Embracing this hatred and disdain
For emotion

Lava wells behind each eye
Wishing these tears were cauterizing
Sterilizing
Emotions and feelings

Like ribbons in the sky
I am accosted
Held within this torment

Encapsulated
I relent



From the chocolatezeus collection  3/11/18  ©