Mind and Ink Lost in this Eastwood Flow

head bouncing

moving through the valley

nothing to grasp

whip in hand

needs calling

body craving

lost in this need for

ultimate sadistic release

slaps

chokes

restricted orgasmic tasks

beating with no mercy

the flow is

taken on it's own

as I am lost in it's undertow

just let me

let me 

let go

Video Thoughts of the Evening

This is the groove and move that I am in this moment. Feeling this song on so many levels right now. And always have loved it.

Me The Dom and Your Submission

I do not profess to be an expert or hold mass knowledge about being a dom or master. Being a dom came naturally for me. My eyes were opened to it by em and I had a better understanding to how I was.

Since then the journey has began in earnest. Becoming involved in the community. Attending Black Beat. Observation, analyzing and communication. Even through my search for a mentor I have learned many things.

The journey hasn't been easy. Even in my desire to start a poly house I realized the two subjects were not ready for that at all. So I took a step back and regrouped. Realized that I should start off with a sub or slave first and then see if there is someone else that will work out if I choose. But even finding one is a chore.

My dynamic goal is long term relationship. Not a fly by night, fuck buddy to be bothered with when I get bored. Someone that is ready to explore, be who they are plus experience as we grow together. I have seen and heard these examples in my interactions with established doms and masters. That is what I seek.

1. Be able to be submissive and have that passion about serving 
2. Understand, educate and grow
3. Focus on our relationship and each other

I understand that battle that alpha females have with their desire for submission. The need to find themselves comfortable enough to release their desire and have it met completely. So we interview. Get to know each other. Decide if we fit.

I am intense, passionate, principled and much more. Those factors are the ones that will secure you, look out for you, encourage and take care of your needs. 

I approach the lifestyle, life and existing like the gladiator's salute.

STRENGTH AND HONOR!!

Modern Day George S Patton

George Patton was a general with the army during World War 2.  Known for hard, straight forward thoughts and actions. While standing out as weird, eccentric and mean. George constantly got in trouble for comments and actions.

I just had that light bulb moment as I sit here and watch Patton for the nth time. I love this movie. I never truly understood why until now. Tonight it all slapped me in the face. The correlation so eerie and prominent. My reprimands and demerit list runs long. Just like George's slap of the enlisted soldier and the trouble that he recieved from that. I receive repeatedly because of my demeanor and principles.

The importance to me is the focus and total concern for those I love and care about. Their security, life and happiness are important to me. So important to me that apparently I have become ostracized because of my principles. So be it. I will remain that battle within the storm.

This walk of mine can be a lonely one. For to remain a constant in an ever changing time is a battle against the forces of nature.

I guess I got jaded by those that understood how I am. How my strict and purposeful design honored them and our relationship. My wife, Ru and Munchkin have understood fully. My fault for over thinking that it was an understandable concept. It is most apparently mutually exclusive.

The next part of this war is to attempt the Battle of the Bulge. Time to armor up and push the enemy clear back to where they belong.

Salute to the last bullet, last battle of the last war! As I take the final long walk...Alone

Today Was A Good Day

I have be so thankful for the select few that are in my circle. They stand proud and loud. Even when they have to argue with me about helping me with something. This is why I am so protective, critical and serious about the relationships I have. We ride together until we no longer ride together.

The problem that the parental units caused is finally almost fixed and over with. And I am so thankful for it coming to a close. Now I can get back to Warp factor 10 in my life. It will be back to pushing the envelope at 10G's once again shortly.

Oh and now the parental units won't be coming until next week so I have a break in the severe headaches until then now.

But I really am glad that Twin and I are the way we are. She is the only one I say I love you to that I do that with that is a non romantic situation. The adventures of the Road Warriors has become things of great legends. She has proven to me why close relationships with understanding, communication and everything are of high importance.

I am just supremely thankful!

All Hail the merry Road Warriors!

Sitting here. In my own world. Upon my throne. Needing to crush the world again and send it into the negative zone.

It is always interesting how the ying and yang of life makes the world change. Well most definitely your world personally. Do you suffer in silence or grab every weapon and make war against existence? The choice is yours.

The stand out. I can only say that I always go against the norm. The stream that everyone swims in with great conformity. Within my constant fortress of solitude I find myself disconnected and observant of others.

It is me against the world. And the war continues on.

Upon My Island

I have always been the stand out in the crowd while also being the ghost who walks. The combination can be baffling. But here it goes: My thoughts, actions and feelings tend to spark as mean, unyielding and cold.  While I am not an attention seeker or one that has to be in the spotlight at all.

I am simplicity among the intricacies of craziness that occur daily in the world. I am there for those I love and care about and feel nothing for the multitudes that are not in my circle. It is the fundamental of being me. All of me. It has come under scrutiny and conflict very often. And at times it has perplexed me because it has been by someone I let in my circle and have wanted to be with. They can't seem to understand and focus on the fact that they are already safe within my bubble of security. Seems like the only ones that understood fully were my wife and Munchkin.

No man is an island is what they say. But when you walk the life of darkness amid the super nova of life's light. I have always been the maverick. Tucked away in plain sight. When you buck against the norm of society you become this island in the middle of their river. As they try to wash me away and bury me in their stupidity.

This has yielded strength and honor among the battleground. And I am thankful for that. It has purified me through the fires of hell. The brimstone and flames have elevated me.

I know I enjoy those that are allowed on my island. Hell I even wanted the two this year to be on my island. But I leave the choices up to them two. I don't make effort on what you don't want.

Sipping my drink. Letting my mind sink deep into the ocean of thoughts. It is where I remain lost.

*Salud*

In the Beats

Sitting here listening to Eminem and UTP. Lost in my angry black man music. It is where I find myself writing page after page of the things that need to be said and expressed. Filleting page after page with blood and sweat stains of intense mental interrogations.

R&B doesn't relax me. It is the beat of some serious rap that makes me feel at home. So I can bob my head and  groove to the beat and lyrics.

As I sit here thinking about past and future. The beats are like salve to the wounds of thoughts that cascade through me. Unstoppable waves crashing against my core. My mind is like every interstate at rush hour at all times. Expect there is a constant amount of high speed, high volume pile ups of thoughts every moment of the day. So that is why there are so many sleepless nights.

Wondering if I had a crystal ball. Would I really want to know absolutely everything that would happen? Many thinks I would definitely want to know ahead of time. It would have kept me from the monkey bitch episodes. But then again as they say. You learned and grew from those experiences too.

I am at a serious crossroad. And I am not sure if there will be any further forward movement. It might be time to drop a pillbox and continue the fight on to Bastogne. With individuals and life I feel like Patton fighting his way across germany against every imaginable obstacle.

The Bright spot of the weekend

The bright spot was talking to my god daughter finally. She always makes me smile and feel good. Love her like my own daughter. Reminds me of when I was so gung ho about having children. Before the miscarriages and lies of females.

She is thankfully no longer in east chicago with her womb donor. She is in Ky with her father and his wife. A better place I would think and hope that e.c. most definitely. At least she has a better chance of living and growing than she did up there.

Her cute, smart little self does well for a child growing up in this day and age. Still on the honor roll. I am always proud of her. Hard to believe in 4 more years she will be graduating high school. I have to get some time with her before that happens.

Beats of the moment

Right now I feel like going somewhere and shooting off a lot of rounds to just let go of some stress. Decide whether or not to let go of what I want and transcend that desire to something else. Like more traveling. There wouldn't be nowhere as many issues that way.

Will there be another return to the Apocalypse Fortress of Solitude?
That is the question. No telling what the answer is.