Time has been filled with changes, compartmentalization and much, much more lately.
But yesterday things looked up and I am thankful for it. Because I am ready to dissapear and travel again. About to take it back to the Old School. And I got my mixes to go with that. lol
Ru and I have talked a lot lately. Hell, I needed something an someone stable, right? lmfao As usual she brought up I need to be closer so we can get into all kinds of shenanigans. Since I am the one male that she can go do whatever with and can count on. From a trip to a swing party to a black tie affair. Life Unscripted in full force would be going down. And believe me the crazy adventure, time stories multiply when we are together. lol And I miss the hell out of us hanging out and me getting to be entertained by her fucking adventures. Even though she is still sore about me getting the better end of the deal since my fucking adventures are fucking crickets. But it is just always good to be around the person I can have a good time with and relax. That is why I have always taken who I cared about and loved and wanted to spend time with seriously. It's a FUCKING need and requirement!!! LMAO
I am looking forward to finally taking a trip out of country this year or even two depending on the sales and things. Either way I smile and look forward to heading to places to eat, go to museums and just do even more me.
This has definitely come at a time where I needed it. With everything fucked up and my super fuck it and you response. It is a nice respite where I can take a breath and chuckle to myself before I return to the killing.
And yes, I still have to deal with the parental units and the other mess going on. But now everything and everyone just matters less. lol
I just did my Super Villian/superhero landing. And that shit is AWESOME!!!!
Cue the Dela Soul Music.... Just Me, Myself and I
Have a great one. May all the things that only you want be yours!!!!!
Friday, March 11, 2016
Wednesday, March 09, 2016
Happiness Is
I was asked what makes me happy.
And I ran down the list of things. From traveling to movies and all in between. But when I say being with the people that I enjoy, care about even love there was that click sound of the disconnect button.
Yes, part of my happiness is when those I actually want and allow in my life spend time, interact and want to make me happy. It is not a constant thing or something that is overused. But it is a simple way of life in a relationship with me. And it is something that many people don't understand or have an aversion to.
I love to be able to laugh, talk, fuck and get pics from them. The different types of interactions show interest, acknowledgement of the relation and desire to interact happily with me.
Of course this is against my introverted, evil ABM personality. But this is the core and basis behind having an personal relationship with me.
And when these things are lacking or not happening. Then according to the scale I adjust myself accordingly. Stepping backwards towards the non relation factor.
I always enjoy and want to be happy. And that is strengthened by those that make me happy. Not dependent on.
So as the song says
And I ran down the list of things. From traveling to movies and all in between. But when I say being with the people that I enjoy, care about even love there was that click sound of the disconnect button.
Yes, part of my happiness is when those I actually want and allow in my life spend time, interact and want to make me happy. It is not a constant thing or something that is overused. But it is a simple way of life in a relationship with me. And it is something that many people don't understand or have an aversion to.
I love to be able to laugh, talk, fuck and get pics from them. The different types of interactions show interest, acknowledgement of the relation and desire to interact happily with me.
Of course this is against my introverted, evil ABM personality. But this is the core and basis behind having an personal relationship with me.
And when these things are lacking or not happening. Then according to the scale I adjust myself accordingly. Stepping backwards towards the non relation factor.
I always enjoy and want to be happy. And that is strengthened by those that make me happy. Not dependent on.
So as the song says
Don't Worry Be Happy!!!
The Matter of D/s...Know Your Role
A D/s relationship is when one consents to not be equal and serve another. It is hierarchy that one chooses to enter.
This basic principle is how things should go. But naturally most are not able or want to fulfill and be in the submissive role. This is due to teachings, experiences and feelings. The struggle against authority.
I have found those that say that they want to be submissive and will fight against, deny and omit to the service and role of being a submissive.
Now this does not mean that the Dominant has no responsibilities and duties to maintain, manage and act upon this hierarchy.
Through my experience I have seen this occur in so many forms. As a Dominant I have had to establish the destination, the rules and regulations along with understanding and adaptation. I didn't just know all the answers from the beginning and nor do I have all the answers to future questions. But I have the basis and have grown from them, while continuing to learn and grow. I have always led, protected and counseled. Now, I am just more invested.
The answer is finding the proper combination to the lock.
sub·mit
səbˈmit/
verb
- 1.accept or yield to a superior force or to the authority or will of another person.
This basic principle is how things should go. But naturally most are not able or want to fulfill and be in the submissive role. This is due to teachings, experiences and feelings. The struggle against authority.
I have found those that say that they want to be submissive and will fight against, deny and omit to the service and role of being a submissive.
Now this does not mean that the Dominant has no responsibilities and duties to maintain, manage and act upon this hierarchy.
Through my experience I have seen this occur in so many forms. As a Dominant I have had to establish the destination, the rules and regulations along with understanding and adaptation. I didn't just know all the answers from the beginning and nor do I have all the answers to future questions. But I have the basis and have grown from them, while continuing to learn and grow. I have always led, protected and counseled. Now, I am just more invested.
The answer is finding the proper combination to the lock.
Tuesday, March 08, 2016
Topping From the Bottom and All About You
There definitely is a connection with females whether is it vanilla or in a lifestyle. The ones that want, need and are use to getting their way will continue to attempt to do so. Making sure to get their way in any shape, form or fashion.
So, I made some mistakes. I did not put everything in words, on stone tablets and in braille for things to be completely understood and things not claimed to never be heard or seen. Everything big and small needs to be slapped in the face straight from the beginning.
When there are the talks where there are attempts to manipulate and the actions facilitate even more selfish behavior.
But this merely reinforced the Caveman initiative. I stepped away from it in my old age and stuff lately. Now it is time to solidify and magnify.
I know that I am knew. And I have allowed for leeway and understanding because of life's activities. But, I am not the puppet at all. I am the puppet master.
Continuing this journey in D/s relations. Warp Factor 8.
So, I made some mistakes. I did not put everything in words, on stone tablets and in braille for things to be completely understood and things not claimed to never be heard or seen. Everything big and small needs to be slapped in the face straight from the beginning.
When there are the talks where there are attempts to manipulate and the actions facilitate even more selfish behavior.
But this merely reinforced the Caveman initiative. I stepped away from it in my old age and stuff lately. Now it is time to solidify and magnify.
I know that I am knew. And I have allowed for leeway and understanding because of life's activities. But, I am not the puppet at all. I am the puppet master.
Continuing this journey in D/s relations. Warp Factor 8.
Monday, March 07, 2016
Close In Support
I was watching a video on the conflict with the air force and congress about the use and extension of service for the A-10 Warthog. A plane that has flown since the 1980s at least. Armored, merciless and dedicated. It keeps our ground troops safe from the enemy real closely.
So where does this apply? Glad you thought you asked. lol
In my black and white scheme of things. I will exhibit, show and give emotions and emotional content. Or I won't have any emotions at all. Not even the so called human being ones. After all I am not human anyway.
Emotions are filled with fear, unknown, hurt, pain and joy. So many variables that scare people so much they have to avoid, detest or fight them tooth and nail. There are always a million things said negatively about emotions and how they are dangerous, will destroy you, not logical and only cause pain.
I see you and that side eye bullshit. But he said that "he either allows emotions or not." I appreciate you paying attention. Thank you. Emotions are not for every situation. Nor are every emotion the right fit for times an situations.
I am clear with my emotions. You are in one of my personal circles then you get that aspect or level of emotion. Well, until you change that or create a need to be downgraded. Then you can get less emotional content and even absolutely none.
Examples you say? I got married after one year to a wonderful woman because of the emotional attachment and that "You Are The One" feeling. This type of emotion was something I did not understand then at all and considering my utter hatred and disdain for emotion back then made for this to be devastating. I fought it tooth and nail but reality set in. I was emotionally connected. Not only with my wife, but myself in a way I hadn't before or accepted. So when it happened again years later with lil red I was shocked but I understood it. Even though me telling her what I want, saw, felt and our goal up front caused every last doomsday apocalypse defense to come up and things to be disconnected.
See, I have always been the counselor, confidant, sin eater and protector in many shapes and forms. From physically to the mental battle with the ultra logical lil red. It is the adaptation of each that shows merit and worth. It is those things that create thoughts, feelings and questions. It is a control and a grounding at the same time.
In D/s this is where the connection lies. When I challenge, show and express things that create a link mentally and in thought. Where daily issues and plans are discussed and figured out. It is not always flagrantly obvious. But look at the changes that have occurred. Look at how long this has lasted when I was nowhere near your typical norm. Your needs mentally, physically or emotionally will not be the same as anyone else. But this is why our dynamic is tailor made to each individual.
So let me grab my red lightsaber so I can prepare for battle once again. Ok, I never stopped battling, but I did take a vodka, everclear, tequila, rum break. Have a good day. Don't be scared of the emotion and feeling things. Embrace, learn and grow. It is the only way to evolve fully.
I will leave you with some poetry on this long ass post. lmao
So where does this apply? Glad you thought you asked. lol
In my black and white scheme of things. I will exhibit, show and give emotions and emotional content. Or I won't have any emotions at all. Not even the so called human being ones. After all I am not human anyway.
Emotions are filled with fear, unknown, hurt, pain and joy. So many variables that scare people so much they have to avoid, detest or fight them tooth and nail. There are always a million things said negatively about emotions and how they are dangerous, will destroy you, not logical and only cause pain.
I see you and that side eye bullshit. But he said that "he either allows emotions or not." I appreciate you paying attention. Thank you. Emotions are not for every situation. Nor are every emotion the right fit for times an situations.
I am clear with my emotions. You are in one of my personal circles then you get that aspect or level of emotion. Well, until you change that or create a need to be downgraded. Then you can get less emotional content and even absolutely none.
Examples you say? I got married after one year to a wonderful woman because of the emotional attachment and that "You Are The One" feeling. This type of emotion was something I did not understand then at all and considering my utter hatred and disdain for emotion back then made for this to be devastating. I fought it tooth and nail but reality set in. I was emotionally connected. Not only with my wife, but myself in a way I hadn't before or accepted. So when it happened again years later with lil red I was shocked but I understood it. Even though me telling her what I want, saw, felt and our goal up front caused every last doomsday apocalypse defense to come up and things to be disconnected.
See, I have always been the counselor, confidant, sin eater and protector in many shapes and forms. From physically to the mental battle with the ultra logical lil red. It is the adaptation of each that shows merit and worth. It is those things that create thoughts, feelings and questions. It is a control and a grounding at the same time.
In D/s this is where the connection lies. When I challenge, show and express things that create a link mentally and in thought. Where daily issues and plans are discussed and figured out. It is not always flagrantly obvious. But look at the changes that have occurred. Look at how long this has lasted when I was nowhere near your typical norm. Your needs mentally, physically or emotionally will not be the same as anyone else. But this is why our dynamic is tailor made to each individual.
So let me grab my red lightsaber so I can prepare for battle once again. Ok, I never stopped battling, but I did take a vodka, everclear, tequila, rum break. Have a good day. Don't be scared of the emotion and feeling things. Embrace, learn and grow. It is the only way to evolve fully.
I will leave you with some poetry on this long ass post. lmao
Your Ground Support
Havoc
Zeus
Apocalypse
Monikers of change
Nicknames and
realities of
All of me
But here is the
kicker
The thing that causes
Malcontent resentment
My presence
Even in absence
Has changed your
normalcy
Those emotions you
battle with
Hate feeling
The conflict of logic
to
Emotionally attaching
That’s me
My mind, soul and
emotions
Invoking Dominance
Upon you
Your mind running 4
million mph
I am that turbo
injection
That will either make
it run faster
With my abstract
mental effect
Or slower with
A what the fuck
moment
That’s me
My mind, soul and
emotions
Invoking Dominance
Upon you
My slap to your face
With my direct Zeus
style
Eloquence and taste
With simple Caveman
ways
Leaves you changed
Thinking
That’s me
My mind, soul and
emotions
Invoking Dominance
Upon you
These things and more
Are parts of your
support
To create that safety
net and availability
For you to
Accept
Soar
Explore
As you feel
Hear
The beating of the
drums of
Your heart, mind and
soul
Remember
Grounded
My infliction of
napalm upon your fire
My destruction of
your world
Opened your world
Mission control
This is ground
support
I am on the job
From the
chocolatezeus collection 3/7/16 ©
Sunday, March 06, 2016
The Unsolvable Formulaic Relationship Equation
Seems like the hot topic has been relations. Both mono and poly. And I have no problem giving my position and application.
All relationships, no matter the dynamic are formulas that you have to choose what you plug in to it. The big part is there is never an actual solution so it is a science, math and physics geeks dream basically. There are no constants or necessary reliabilities. Just the application for the moment and what myriad of outcomes will appear from that formula for the next moment.
As I was asked how do you make poly work? Just like you have to make a monogamous relation work. You actually have to have someone that wants a relation and is willing to make the effort to make it work. Terms have to be met or you just don't give a fuck and then nothing matters anyway.
I have enjoyed poly relations until other individuals choose to change things and disconnect the relation. I have loved, cared for, been there for and more with individuals. There is also the converse reality as well. It can be used to maintain complete disconnection and distance from others. Where there is an established ceiling that is capped so there is no room for movement beyond that.
I can and do both of the afore mentioned situations. If you want to be situaltional then I will show you interest when you show some or we spend some type of interaction together. After that I will barely remember. In the other way we can be fully invested in each other and do our thing. You only can make the most out of what is put in.
All relationships, no matter the dynamic are formulas that you have to choose what you plug in to it. The big part is there is never an actual solution so it is a science, math and physics geeks dream basically. There are no constants or necessary reliabilities. Just the application for the moment and what myriad of outcomes will appear from that formula for the next moment.
As I was asked how do you make poly work? Just like you have to make a monogamous relation work. You actually have to have someone that wants a relation and is willing to make the effort to make it work. Terms have to be met or you just don't give a fuck and then nothing matters anyway.
I have enjoyed poly relations until other individuals choose to change things and disconnect the relation. I have loved, cared for, been there for and more with individuals. There is also the converse reality as well. It can be used to maintain complete disconnection and distance from others. Where there is an established ceiling that is capped so there is no room for movement beyond that.
I can and do both of the afore mentioned situations. If you want to be situaltional then I will show you interest when you show some or we spend some type of interaction together. After that I will barely remember. In the other way we can be fully invested in each other and do our thing. You only can make the most out of what is put in.
Deconstructed Formulaic Relationship
Chalk and eraser in
hand
Upon the blackboard
We call a
Relationship
I guarantee you
That you will be
perplexed
The answers will
never be met
And the outcomes will
be in a
Constant state of
flux
Like beginning the
periodic table
Like a game of chess
The only importance
is placement
Whoever is winning
Changes the answers
to the tests
E=mc2d
Wait a minute that is
unfair
We cannot have
constants
In a relationship
Misapplication of
Pythagorean Theorem
Nothing is meeting or
joined
Especially not the
heart and mind
Even the physics
Of the physical
moments
Leave the equation
Unsolved
Neither x, y nor z
has been solved
Even Pi is not
allowed
Fundamentally we have
broken the answer
1+1=2
1+1+1=3
And there is where
that damn Pi
Should be
Oh well
Broken formulas
Mathematical fuckery
In the end
There is only
Improbable
Impossibilities
From the
chocolatezeus collection 3/6/16 ©
So I will tell you this. If you don't know what you want. Need to be secretive and cower in your own soul. While role playing that you want a relationship or more. Just stop! And play only with those that are happily in your same boat.
It is not that dating, relations, even marriage cannot be solved. It is the factor of do you want things solved or do you want to stand in your own way so you can feel that false since of safe.
Relationships work. I enjoy watching and reading the interaction in D/s, M/s and vanilla relations. When they are working well and they are into each other even if they are apart or don't spend a lot of time together. When they can argue and disagree and that same energy doesn't change. That is what a relationship is made of. When through the good, bad, silent and disconnected moments you can smack her on the ass and she turns and looks at you to say, "yeah, I know. miss you too."
Relationships work. I enjoy watching and reading the interaction in D/s, M/s and vanilla relations. When they are working well and they are into each other even if they are apart or don't spend a lot of time together. When they can argue and disagree and that same energy doesn't change. That is what a relationship is made of. When through the good, bad, silent and disconnected moments you can smack her on the ass and she turns and looks at you to say, "yeah, I know. miss you too."
Be true and don't be scared to step our of your comfort zone and live. Unless like me no one will ever be safe if you do.
lmao
Get the fuck out of here and enjoy this weather. As Sargent Slaughter would say, "And that's an order!"
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