the Entertainer in Me

Why I Dance

I do it for me
When I have loosened up
Had a few drinks
Enjoyed some company

Then I am ready to just be
Have fun
Come laugh with me
Dance with me

Hit the floor
I don’t care
Tonight the entertainment is going to be there

It’s me that they will look at and stare
The hell with posting up
Watching the club

I dance with you
Because I think you are cute
I want to watch your body move
See what skills you can unloose

Two stepping may be what I do
For a minute or two
Or we can go old school
Throw out a prep
A snake or two

But my dance

It’s not for you
I do what I do
Because I am going to enjoy this mood
When I am the entertainer
Gone is my protection attitude

Lets get down
Bust a move
Step in the name of love
Or cha cha slide with you

Once that music
Has gripped me totally
I just want to keep it flowing
Burning up the floor
Heating up and sweating

When you move I move
They watch us two
Laughing and smiling

Now you know why I dance
Why I enjoy that mood
When the attitude
Is gone
Replaced with my gratitude
DJ keep it jumping dude



From the Chocolatezeus collection 12/21/06 ©

Ice Cream Dreams

Dreams Against Dream

Find and you shall see
That is what is said to me
Don’t give up
It will come to me

All I can remember is the
Eternal dreams
Of my wife
My family
That house with us enjoying
What life brings

I scheduled
Worked on
Jumped on
Weaseled it all in
Time and time again

Failure after failure
The only result from things
My efforts wasting

Mistakes made
Love gave
Regrets constantly made
True love though
I refused to forsake

Never surrender, never give up
Became my theme

Fighting against the
Seen and unseen

Marriage continuing to be
High on my list of important things
Even when I denied its meaning
I am just a loving compassionate being
No matter how I attempt to change the scene

Still I look favorably on this marriage thing
Believe in it
Knowing that it is not necessarily happening
Still I must remain positive

For love cannot be predicted
Nothing can be expected
My heart will remain unprotected
At least partially

Marriage
Through the fire and destruction
Still remains

A part of me

Me

Love and Marriage

No need to lie

Just

Me


From the Chocolatezeus collection 12/15/06 ©

Good things Are What We have

In from the Cold

The woman I would walk the ends of the earth for
Heart and soul
Unlike the coldness that is told
How she is a bitch and alone
Unfair representation of
This woman’s
Whole

My heart and soul
When we ended
Life went cold
So very cold

Hurt from wanting you more
I wrote
Trying to get through it all
Not thinking
That the little people had in store

Pretending to befriend you
Talking trash about you
About what they thought they knew

I know you
Intimately
You have been my Queen
Saved me from so many things
Sat there at my side through some very dark things

My life
My lover
My queen

Good in so many things
Good to me
Unbelievably relationship with thee


From the Chocolatezeus collection 12/12/06 ©

Reminder, reminder reminder

Sting…Loves Reminder

Pierced mortally
Love at first sight
Apparently destroyed me
Or was it my simple personal stupidity

Still I live
I breathed
Just now its only for me

After walking through the flames
Being blasted
Called out my name
Subject of those drama things

I came through it all
Somehow sane
Scarred but not broke
Love and affection still remained

Exemplified
Through my actions and things
Giving of myself even when they can’t
Won’t let themselves believe the love I have remained

No conditions to the love I gave
Still it remains
Not taken away
Merely changed

Man enough to continue to love
Just not in the same way
No longer a part of the reactionary game that was played

I parted ways
Gave up my quest that I made
Those involved made their choices not to dig in and stay
Personally
I refuse to make anyone be here with me

Giving my soul and being completely
I smile knowing that I have given me
That unconditional love is real with me
Not the situational drama that ladies have presented to me

Taking the pain
Walking in the bullshit
Just to remain
Refusing to quit on what I deemed important to me
Never realizing
That it was only my way

Pain flared
Stabbed me
Cast me into the abyss
Insane

Lost
Not knowing my name
Wanting to die from not having my dream
Life no longer had what I needed

Slowly I turned
Walked away from the things that made me happy
Kept me breathing
Smiling to the tune of me and them

The hardest decisions made
Unhappiness with it
Till this day

I know that the
I wishes
Won’t ever go away

Still I know that I did the right thing
For what good is what you want
When the others don’t want it that way
Sting
Sting
Sting

Go away
Yet it reminds me of the lessons that I need today
Gifting me with an appreciative gaze

Sting

My history
My lesson
The sword
I now carry everyday


From the Chocolatezeus collection 11/30/06 ©

WE can do it Anywhere

Anywhere

There is always time
Through darkness or light
Available moments in time
To Unite

We can do it
Anywhere

Arms around you
Holding you tight
Slowly caressing you right
Lustful needs already to strike

We can do it anywhere

Nipples swollen just right
My hand explores your inner thighs
Feeling the heat
Molten lava coating the insides
Whispering the cries

We can do it
Anywhere

Unable to wait
Needing to release these flood gates
No place that we won’t take
To gratify these burning fires

We can do it
Anywhere

Ride with me
Give me head as I steer
Open your legs
So I can make you squirt over there

We can do it
Anywhere

Bend over your seat
So I can hit it from the back
Make you scream
While people drive by constantly
Taking in all the scenes

We can do it
Anywhere

Open and free
We will continue being two freaks


From the Chocolatezeus collection 11/27/06 ©

Love's kept

My Secret Lover

Who would have thought
That you would be
The reason that
I still have love in me

Never will you be mine
A truth I cannot deny
But within you
My love has been kept alive

Your voice brings me smiles
Your kiss drives me wild
Longing for you to be mine
But reality knows my mind
You can never be mine

That fatal night
When our hearts ignited
Here and now we find
Ourselves in this affair
Yours and mine

Though its wrong
I don’t want it to be right
I need it to go on
To feel love
To be wanted
Something of Love’s gifts

Your body
Your lips
I need you to give me
All of it

The restrictions
I need you to lift
Longing for complete loving experience
The last expression
That our True Love is missing

In the darkness
You are my light
My gift
Keeping me
Loving and Passionate

Bright


From the Chocolatezeus collection 11/21/06 ©

Run, Run Away

You Running From You

You call me a liar
I simply look into your life
Know that behind those eyes
Fear is inspired

I know my flaws
My faults
Mistakes that haunt

Sought not to lie
There for I don’t
Instead I merely stand here as you make your death bed
Calling me a liar
But lying to yourself instead

Lie to yourself
Telling yourself that you don’t need a man for anthing else
That you have every thing under control

Just release yourself
Come on out here and deal with it

Don’t try to be bold
Turn on that “I think I am superwoman” cold
Stand your ground
Let your true self be known

You don’t want to come face to face
With your own self worth
Your disgrace
That you are a human like others in this race

The recognition that you seek
Can only come from
Within
Right there where your heart beats
Your soul will be free
You will truly know what it is to be free

Stop lying to YOU
Let yourself be
Stop the lying to make yourself what you want to be
You don’t need to impress other things

Telling yourself that sex is just a physical thing
All the while wanting to be that loved being
Stop playing that stupid games others tell you to be

Knowing that you struggle like everyone else
That life is not a polished silver spoon on a china shelf

Don’t be mad with me
Be mad with yourself
That you have lied to yourself

Now who is the liar again?


Form the Chocolatezeus collection 11/12/06 ©

Taking It to War

Battle of What Is


Ripped apart by feelings undefined
Knowing the vulnerability and pain that transpires
Yet I do it
Because it is what is me

That steely grey haze
That permeates and lifts me
Knowing that I am there with them
For them

Support
Seen and unseen

Looking past everything
I see cleanly what is underneath

Once more
Unto the Breach
Standing in the gap for someone else’s life being

Against them I see
I act not to battle them
But to fight their own fearful stupidity

Blades
Daggers
Bullets and attacks

Standing
Hands open
Allowing
Braced against the combative attacks
Knowing the true reasons they coming at me

Tired
Weary
I know I want it all to end
To know that I am appreciated for what it is I am

Wondering sometimes
When will I get a break in this plan
Can I get that supporting hand
Let my guard down for just a moment
Give my mind a quick vacation
Man

Still I won’t whine
Nor will I offer up the internal tears that are cried
Weakness is what I cannot allow to shine
Too many people depend on me
There is no time for a weakened me

Dress the wounds
Beat back the fatigue
The one man army
Once again needed
Especially when they won’t realize it

Powering up
Fight the good fight
Don’t give up

With just my luck
I will finally rest
And one of these times lose the battle of love
Join the ranks of cannon fodder and casualty counts

Just let me rest
So I can settle down

My battle still hasn’t begun


From the Chocolatezeus collection 11/12/06 ©

Welcome to the Durty, Dirty

Dirty Adventures

Expectations were ones of fun and adventure
Knowing that you are something other than run of the mill
Still, I kept my mind open for free will

Sex appeal was my first reaction and thrill
When I saw you I had to swallow my attraction pill
Thick and sexy was mere words at that time
A picture online did no justice to that beautiful behind

Pretty enchanting eyes
Tempting hips and thighs
Me oh my
My eyes could not decide what to look at in my mind

Ass, titties, behind
A deep presence and smile
But oh you are so wild
That untamed fire
One of the things that make you a huge desire

Flippant angry mattered
Down home grown sexy woman
You are definitely just YOUR own

Dirtyrization
Explains things not being complacent
Like a cracker jack box
Never know what you will get as a surprise

But damn can’t help but enjoy that Dirty ride


From the Chocolatezeus collection 10/13/06 ©

Invocation of the Hateration

Thursday Afro Challenge

Here in the darkness
I face my eternal rejection
Incessant nagging of my being
Internal, external trauma like bleeding

Never-ending
Unrelentless
I have to be
That rock and stone
Steadfast in life’s stream

Now its my time
My turn
To liberate my complacency
Unleash the anger that I keep
Secreting the pent up Dark Beast

This pain and hurt
Made these thoughts what they were

Cowardly they hide behind their computers and words
Thinking that their locations I won’t find
That they are safely out of sight
Out of mind

My neurons firing
Cloak and dagger thoughts saturating my mind’s bin
Yeah I got something for all of them

Here I invoke the curse of an angry Greek God
Blood splatters spray
As I swoon and sway through the internet led party
Knowing I brought all of you here this day

My incantation finished
Carnage left for the vultures to dine in
Smitten smile upon my face
I got those muthafuckas
So much for their jealous hateraid


From the Chocolatezeus collection 10/5/06

Knowing Me

The Things You SHOULD know

My choice never random
Keeping things from being overly demanding
Know that by your side I will always stand in
Through the fighting, biting, I am still here by your side

I am beyond that Ride or Die
You got the T Rex at your side
Holding you when you need to cry
Cracking heads for your pride and life

You and my child I protect like a beast from the wild
Yeah its insane
But reality is the only important thing
I do what I do because I am the man
The one that opened up and gave you him

Mistakes I may continue to pay for
But eventually even those will completely fall off
Just not going to let them break me down
Hold me down with the chains
I got enough that stays on my brain

My fire, flares like a blazing Nova
Whether anger or passion
Molten flowing over
Uncontrollable, unstoppable passion
Yeah that what I got for my peoples

At time completely irrational
Copping that ethereal road man
The black Stunt man
Fighting for the 6 million dollar plans
Because I have went past that 6 million dollar man

Rebuilding
Working out and on my plans
Got my core plan and making it stand
On that deep dark grind
Backed by the invisible hands

You think you know
Think you seen all about me
Question is
Do you know your role
Do you know the true essence of me
This man

Here’s what you need to know

God fearing is who I am
Intelligent, hard working black man
Passion led, inspired embodiment of man
Growling, protector of those in my personal family plan
Soldier smiting those enemies in our way
Field general plotting and planning the future today

So now you know
Know your role
Understand and be your part in this world


From the Chocolatezeus collection 10/13/06 ©

Longing For A New Us

Looking into your eyes
Knowing that this is all about
The deepness in our lives

Oh the soft color of your eyes
Keeps me giddy
Heart silently mesmerized

You don’t know how much I want
Wanting a reprise
A break
To regain what is mine

True love already embraced
No longer wasting time
Denial a death sentence crime
One that I refuse to sign
I already did my time for my past crimes

Looking into our hearts
It is us that we find
The enemy within is mine
Needing you as my only ally

We wouldn’t be here in any event
If we didn’t have this union
Just wanting to

Move to ONE from TWO


From the Chocolatezeus collection 10/2/06 ©

Longing For A New Us

Looking into your eyes
Knowing that this is all about
The deepness in our lives

Oh the soft color of your eyes
Keeps me giddy
Heart silently mesmerized

You don’t know how much I want
Wanting a reprise
A break
To regain what is mine

True love already embraced
No longer wasting time
Denial a death sentence crime
One that I refuse to sign
I already did my time for my past crimes

Looking into our hearts
It is us that we find
The enemy within is mine
Needing you as my only ally

We wouldn’t be here in any event
If we didn’t have this union
Just wanting to

Move to ONE from TWO


From the Chocolatezeus collection 10/2/06 ©

Longing For A New Us

Looking into your eyes
Knowing that this is all about
The deepness in our lives

Oh the soft color of your eyes
Keeps me giddy
Heart silently mesmerized

You don’t know how much I want
Wanting a reprise
A break
To regain what is mine

True love already embraced
No longer wasting time
Denial a death sentence crime
One that I refuse to sign
I already did my time for my past crimes

Looking into our hearts
It is us that we find
The enemy within is mine
Needing you as my only ally

We wouldn’t be here in any event
If we didn’t have this union
Just wanting to

Move to ONE from TWO


From the Chocolatezeus collection 10/2/06 ©

Longing For A New Us

Looking into your eyes
Knowing that this is all about
The deepness in our lives

Oh the soft color of your eyes
Keeps me giddy
Heart silently mesmerized

You don’t know how much I want
Wanting a reprise
A break
To regain what is mine

True love already embraced
No longer wasting time
Denial a death sentence crime
One that I refuse to sign
I already did my time for my past crimes

Looking into our hearts
It is us that we find
The enemy within is mine
Needing you as my only ally

We wouldn’t be here in any event
If we didn’t have this union
Just wanting to

Move to ONE from TWO


From the Chocolatezeus collection 10/2/06 ©

Ready for the Zone?

Zoned Out

Everything is calling me
I am in the zone

I can’t hear the voices from their pratter
Clogging my mind with confusing chatter
Some things do
Others don’t’ matter

Swing batter, batter
Separating the complex highway of informative matter
Reversed style of the misunderstood hatters
For I am the only mad hatter here

Back and forth
Head bouncing
Beat banging
Body rocking

Everything is calling me
But I am here to enjoy being me
I am in the zone

Don’t need a crew I roll alone
Me and my unknown tone
Most don’t know how happy I roam
But hell they aint in my zone

Smiling cause I enjoy this life on loan
Traveling around to keep my mind fully on roam
Disallowing others to make this a crumple zone
Happily, fully entrenched in my zone

Come here lets keep it warm
Fully embrace this storm
The Zone is HOME

From the Chocolatezeus collection 9/10/06 ©

Ready to Blast!

The Blast

You grab me
Show me that you want it

As I toss you down to give you that wish
Lick after lick
All you feel is the fire from my tongue and lips
Your clit pulsating to the beat of my tenderness

Tongue gaining entrance to your wetness
Deeper and deeper
It presses it
Liking around
Swirling and twirling

Letting your juices build up over those lips rim
Your wetness no longer a stream
Only the water fall can be seen
As my tongue does its figure eights along your clits outlining

Grabbing your clit with warmth and wetness
Your pussy quivering with it’s acceptance
Begging for more
Not wanting to lose control

I feel you move
Trying to turn and roll
Too bad baby because I am not done with you though

First nut
Second nut
Damn theres more
I don’t want to keep cumming anymore
I am out of control
That is all you can think
Nothing more

Stop! Stop!
You scream at me
The explosions gathering speed
My tongue flickering and licking with a soft fiery gentle speed

Splash
Splash

There you go
The squirting begins
The ending I needed is here

From the Chocolatezeus collection 9/19/06 ©

Revised Insanity

Are these insane things you do
Ways to get my attention
To keep me worth mention
Push the others out of contention

Sarcasm
Biting criticism
Drama induced catyclisms

Seemingly standard issue
Inflamed heart tissue
Repeated irrational issues
Just more of the catrosphy continues

Just address the truth
You love me
You truly do
Because I love you too

Still that doesn't make the crazy things subdued
Just simply revise you
For I have revamped me

Right now though
Lets just stop
End
Continue to deny the insanity

I have already


From the chocolatezeus collection (c) 8/29/06

Release of the Titans

Time To Time Again

Captured among life’s buffeting waves
Tossed and turned within it’s frothy fray
Blessed, cursed day to day
Supposedly karma ingested into the game
Though regardless results may yield the same

Tendered resignation to repeated confrontations
Wonderment concerning life’s station
Appeasement leading to internal disassociation

Sought
Longing for Atonement
The recapture of a few brief moments
To simply turn the hands of events
To alter the present

Importance of whats left, most prevalent
Looking towards the mark that will be left
How everything will be all that we represent
In the end of our lifes full effects
Left behind our simple past
Nothingness


From the Chocolatezeus collection 8/2/06 ©

Timing

Throw That D

I came here to Miami to party and have fun
Down with my gurls and we are about to get it on
One man, three women in one fly ride
Heading out to Luke’s for that night club time
Who knows what we will get into and find

Three women all damn fine
With my handsome behind
Niggas, chicks all checking out our entrance
The south definitely represent

The girls heading to watch the strippers throw that dick
I am heading to watch the chicks do some naked tricks
The club got everyone hot as shit
Women ready to get their pussy licked
And fellas ready with dick to hit
That Sex Foam got us all lit

My gurls finding me on the dance floor
Moving the chick I am with out the way
Dancing around me like a sex storm
Thick, athletic and voluptuous surrounding me
A plethora of ecstasy

Feeling all that booty grinding on me
Got me hard and breathing
Hands caressing me freely
They know what they do to me
I am not just their security

A fella grabbing Athletic
Another grabbing Thick
I continue grinding with Voluptuous

We work it
Twerk it
As she turns around to slip a hand in and give me a grin
Whispering that this is only the beginning
A soft squeeze followed by smooth strokes is how it all happened

Athletic returns to take her turn
Working her lithe form in-between
She fits like a closed seam
Dancing real nasty all over me
Putting on a show for all to see

As she works her booty on me
I get to feel her hand grabbing me
Pulsating in her hand happily
My eyes close momentarily
Enjoying the pleasure of that hand knead

Thick taking her turn at it
Facing me with her hands around my neck
Breasts meeting my face firmly
Tongue flick to a thick nipple received
Her body responding completely with a shudder that only I could see

Hands leaving my neck to simply cup me
Both hands working feverishly
Pumping and stroking me openly
She got me with some pre cream

Looking in my eyes with that lustful sheen
My body on fire
Ready to blaze into an inferno
Before I know it
Lights come on
Time to go

Security has its privileges obviously though.


From the Chocolatezeus collection 8/1/06 ©

From the Heart...The Apology

I Apologize: Beefie


My words and thoughts ones of hurt, pain and anger
Reaching out to attack you
To tarnish you, your heart and your reputation
Everyone chimed in like they understood where we had been
Or what we have been feeling or given

See I wrote what I did because of my anger and contempt
Regardless of the facts and fiction
No one could understand what we had been given
The episodes and things that we have been through
NO ONE knew or understood our issues
First and foremost me and you

So I 0ffer my apology
Knowing how badly I fucked it all up
See it matters not what others think and see
Just the wrong that I have brought to the scene
That I have made you this enemy unseen

My heart fell beyond me
Far to depths unseen
When you told me what was misread and said
I just couldn’t be left unsaid, that they have no clue to what I mean

So I Apologize for the views I put in their eyes

Damn the tears I cried
Knowing that this wasn’t what I laid my pride in
My heart, my eyes
On fire because of the hatred writes
The unfortunate ties that came outright

They don’t know what it is all about
Merely what they inferred from my words

I Apologize for their interpretation of you
From the Chocolatezeus collection ©

Roaring Into Emptiness

Truth Over Attitude

Funny how woman roars about non commitment and more
How the voice boisterous about men aren’t up to par

Then you turn on the light upon their lives
See them run from the examination
Showing their selfish determination
Giving you the true understanding that they don’t want commitment
Just something for the moment

Things within their little mold
Because they can’t have their precious WORLD unfold
They busted ass friends
Their lack of attention
Wrongful understanding

Stuck on stupid they remain
Caught in this insane pseudo understanding of things
Thinking that they have the insight on things
When in reality they don’t even come close to things being known
Just blowing in the wind all alone

Quick to claim BITCH mode
Oblivious to the truth within their soul
That they wish the same things I do
The companionship from one another
That need for a comforting tone
Not the need to be stuck alone

My hands held out
A peace offering to atone for what has gone on
Let’s lay it all down
Both take up our crowns
Reign over OUR realms

For the future is what we have found
Now we simply have to hold it down
Fight against the oppressing elements
Combating their mere irrelevance
We are not down for settling

The truth has shown upon our home
Time to step into the rays of reality
Bask in the enjoyment of our finality
The forever ness that we have found most evident

Now we simply have to keep those attitudes and tempers in check
Give into Forgiveness
Living in Understanding’s enhancements

The Truth is What WE Represent


From the Chocolatezeus collection 8/1/06 ©

In My Mind's Eye

Out My Mind

Sitting back realizing the things that brought me to this place
Feeling stupid for the things that were done and faced
Realizing now how much of it was a TRUE waste
No matter what nothing can take it’s place

Made a stand for what was in my goals and plan
Apparently just too much demand for others to be involved in the plan
Watching them bail out
Run out without a simple regret or concern
That is dedication to the things you want in life right there

See there is no doubt about what I want
No doubt about what I need
But I don’t need anyone to interpret anything for me
No need to have anything like that to ever say to me

But I see
I must have been out my mind
To think that someone would agree
That they would see the visions I expressed and had for me
The things I voiced and showed completely

Just out of my mind
To think that they would find something other than just themselves
To want to enjoy a life of something else
More than each individual self

My mind can grasp the future plans
Handle it all and understand
Knowing that problems will be on the way to that plan
Just have to understand that everything will not be smooth as sand
But that is part of life
Understand

A life that is made of importance and not just simple demands
For it was a cake walk that was planned
Then everything would mean nothing at all
Would be a matter of nothing at all
So with that they stall and fall
Blessing us with nothing but their gaul

This is what they bring to the table for us all
The simple episodes that they keep in place for us all
Only thing is that we don’t pay attention to them at all
Because they have no meaning to US at all
The people that truly understand the plan
Know life’s demands

Our minds
Held onto these designs
Glad to be the ones that find the plans of our lives

Just have to keep in mind
That these other people
Drive us to be
OUT OUR MIND



From the Chocolatezeus collection 7/25/06 ©

Relational Epitome

Relationship Singularity

Here with someone
Alleged relationship
A supposed union

Yet why am I alone

Deceived true feelings
Received negligence
Pepertrated Presence

Yet why am I alone

Always here
Through the smoke and fire
Branded, banished

Yet why am I alone

Dedication
No matter the rough ride
Hard core ride

Yet why am I alone

Flight by night
No land clear in sight
No matter wrong or right

Yet why am I alone

Remaining your clear backbone
Even when you just want to be left alone
All I hear is that caustic tone

Yet why am I alone


From the chocolatezeus collection ©

Elevated Hands

Within These Hands

Here I hold within these two hands
Life
Love
The Future

Grasping through the
Frailness
Futility
Adversaries

Cloaked in the best of self
No longer having to creep in stealth of myself
Part of a new something else
A new million Grand upon myself
Love and concern for self more than everything else

Finally

Myself in my corner
Regardless of anything else
No one else
Me and Myself

Heart and Soul my TRUE WEALTH
True friends
True love
Revealed their true selves

Disturbance
Anomosity
Nonchalantness dealt
Not once detracting from the beautiful self

The pungent aroma of disregard
Disrespect the usual trump card
Played repeatedly
And played slammed hard
As if that was always the ONLY card

Far through it all
I stand PROUDLY tall
Still loving
Supporting the Called
Representative of the Winter and the Fall


From the Chocolatezeus collection ©

Here Without You

WITHOUT YOU

How is it that we came here
What brought us together then
Here in our passionate whirlwind
Anger, love, lust and traveling
Our relationship bedazzling
Something that others had no choice but to see
We did it effortlessly
For we were always meant to be

How did I come to this point
Where I just can’t be without you
Where my day is not right without you
Longing once again for that first day I found you

Never knew how hard I had fallen
My strength failed me within your presence
Missing you day by day
A part of my heart ripped completely apart
Finally that mental smoke screen did part
My heart completely unfolded, completely fallen apart
Brought in to the light from the dark

How did I come to this point
Where I just can’t be without you
Where my day is not right without you
Longing once again for that first day I found you

Our bond grew strong
We fought each other on and on
Not realizing completely what was going on
Fighting each other time after time
Seeking what we had already found
Bound by the feelings that we had found

How did I come to this point
Where I just can’t be without you
Where my day is not right without you
Longing once again for that first day I found you

Bitter instances revealed
Because our fates had already been sealed
We LOVE each other for REAL
Love is what made us fight each other with zeal
To fight for the strength that we feel
Watching the coldness of hearts peel
Even time won’t be able to steal

How did I come to this point
Where I just can’t be without you
Where my day is not right without you
Longing once again for that first day I found you

From the Chocolatezeus collection 7/21/06 ©

Something Sang, Something Said, Something Felt

Must Be Nice

I found you
My diamond in the rough
A total coincidence
Yet something that I learned I couldn’t easily give up

Growing into the formidable two that we are
You held me down, even when I was dragging the ground
Fought through it all
From the fights to side splitting falls

Come home to you
Knowing that you were there
Greeted with that gifted smile
Even if it took a little while

Maybe it easy to always come home
To get rid of the thoughts to roam
My Baby was right there at home

See…
Pussy is what it is…something to get into, something to do
But what I got is what makes me happy at home

When life has come completely apart
My strength lays in your hands
My heart and soul has left me
You are there to brace it all together
To keep everything together

For I am not invincible
Nor is life all that sensible
Many times I have been left defenseless and expendable
You stayed by my side just holding on

You… the strong woman
Is why I love where I belong
Here with you in my arms
Or walking along laughing with your loud tone

For no matter our faults or issues
Acceptance was a must
To peas of different strands
Yet in our Unique pod was simply Marvelous US
No one could understand us

My wifey
Mother of my unborn
Here upon your bosom is where I rest during the storms

No need for party scenes
I continue chilling at home with my queen
Lets laugh and talk
Play and profess our life’s interests

You are my only FAMILY interest
Life ahead of me benefits
God’s blessings represented

No wonder I am content
Happy no matter what the incident
Knowing we can make it through any event
Our Union the TRUE REPRESENTATIVE

From the chocolatezeus collection 7/17/06 ©

Odin's Moment

Cast upon my back I hold so much
Sorrow, pain, life's etheral touch
A world upon my shoulders
At times bucvkled and smoldering

Sitting here alone
Enemy loved
Hatred Shown

Stationed in life's orbital zone
Standard issue personal comfort zone
Providing a compassionate tone
Commanding a stronghold for refuge from the storm

Listening intently
Helping vehemotely
The personal counselor that you see

Queried and never understood
For my understanding rings in the hood
True enemy indeed
Perched upon life's dark steed
Continuing the battle proceeds
Smiting thee

For the scowl upon my face
Shows the truth on life's fate
Prayers and thoughst go up for all sakes
I am designed and destined to handle this weight

I see all
What was
What is
What will be

For you
I oversee
Superseed
Breathe and breathe

Guardian
Protector
Covering you in love and caring

I
Odin upon my throne...daringly, caring, solitude upon my own


from the chocolatezeus collection (c)

Journey: Hell's Angels

Darkness falls upon the twilight of this life
Given up upon that search for a wife
Tired in the constant brutal fights

Seeing red with passionate anger
Ignoring the pains and danger
All to make it work you see
To simply fulfill my dream

I had thought I had everything
But I didn't have myself
The thing that made everything

Here on my astral plane
I look at what
I have wanted
I have had
The virtual grab bag

See I never opened up fully
Knew that no one could handle or understand me
Showed them the complete me
The one they could handle things
Yet it was too late for them to open their eyes and see

Captain of this ship
Shaking my head at this
Illiad and Odyssey trip

See I have faced:
The evil twins
The Minotaurs horns
The two episodes with the dark beasts from the sea

Bringing me adventures and plenty of things to think
Catalyst at time to drive you to drink

It brought the necessary changes in me
Solidified strength in me
Idle tolerance ceased
Acceptance of less than required ceased
Bloody, brutal, vindictive actions proceed
Now there is simple
This true journey

My peace

from the chocolatezeus collection (c) 7/6/06

Elusive Apprhension of the RAW

Thats right we search dilligently, sometimes crazily
For that RAW

Real
Ass
Woman

Sought after like the lochness monster
Berift of fairytale pondering
Searching for the one and only
Sifting through the pseudo and phoney

Yeah I found my match
That chick with class
Damn I guess I will pass
Because she is just another one that showed her ass

Different looks
Different backgrounds
Different lives
Going to the same results
What the fuck

The words LOVE
Used strategically
Something to weild against me

The journy continues
Still in need of that RAW on my personal menu
A loving, married venue
Pulsing throughout my every sinew

Still serching for that RAW
That elusive midnight star
Transcending my life by far
Mirroring my life as the top star

I know it is hit and miss
Reaching for this one time gift
Sift after sift
Rifling through the bullshit
Finding the pure evidence
That this chick, that chick was never Heaven sent.

My journey remains most RAW
Search and Rescue the only worthwile part
For is it our lives we must save
Stave the negative waves

My RAW is worth wait
But damn just hurry up for Christ's sake


from the chocolatezeus collection 6/19/06 (c)

Proud of My Baby!!!

Hell yeah my baby gurl done did it and did it well.
My god daughter Daijah is who I am talking about.
She reppin me in kindergarten well in E.C.
A honor roll
an oratory genius
Called to speak as kindergarten rep
is head of the dance team
reads on a 2nd grade level
is in every extra curricular activity there is
hell yeah thats my baby.
Taught her well. Not only to defend herself well but to read and eat and play hard too.

Proud of my baby girl. Even if her family is ghetto as hell. LOL

My heart and Joy
DAIJAH

Fathers Day...Mine

Caught Amongst Father's Day

Here upon a day filled with so much and so little
Gazing upon those around me far and near
Those close to me personally and those passing by

Wrought within myself at
Loss
Despair
Disbelief
Shock

For I am not yet that father
Nor do I consider myself to have one myself
Betrayal ripping that from my very chest
For all he is nothing more than a hypocritical lie to me
Fiction, Fantasy...Christian disbelief

My father
Crying over things he did, not me
Looking to teach me when he was no more than the lies that I see
Married to my mother and cheating vehemetly
But yet still trying to teach me
Lead others to the Lord
No sir, not the father to be

Me, a Father
Taken away from me repeatedly
Babies loss from the love that I wished to give
Stripped from the future I sought to give
The last one the hardest
Knowing that if he had lived that she would have killed him
Those words took away my heart
The idea that she would kill my fatherhood from a start
All because of the issues that we had fighting each other from being apart

But God had HIS plan
And I don't sit here and claim to understand
Because I can't say that I do, Most of the time I really don't want to

All I know is I miss my baby
No child of my own
No yells of "Daddy" coming home

So with tears I close my eyes
Stifle the internal and external cries
Knowing the hurt, pain and love that is felt inside
Giving up to this emotional ride
Never once did I thought life would bring me this ride

As my babygirl wishes me Happy Fathers day
It is a joy I relish
For it is true heart of the one lil girl I have cherished
Not blood of my own, yet still my lil girl grown
The lil life that I influenced and loved all of my own

With the swirling thoughts and feelings
I take in this day
Reflected upon my life's stage
Blessing each and every father that has been a father this day

HAPPY FATHERS DAY

Anchored In My Life

This is dedicated to the one person that came out the blue and became God's blessing to me. All I can say is THANK YOU!

Within these buffeted winds
Storms rage
Destruction cascades
But I am secure
Anchored to an unmoving shore

You
My anchor

Heartfelt and pure
Looking past the folk lore
To merely see the man that adores
An always opens up doors
With you radiating along every floor

You
My anchor

When all else fails
You always prevail
Ready to set sail with me
Not afrad of the adventure we seek

You
My anchor

The lifeline of my heartbeat
Comforting me while I sleep
Producing my ecstasy
Completely giving of me

You
My anchor

With you I drit aimlessly
Back and forth
Yielding the destruction you see
Not what it should be
NO longer am I the storm that people see

Thankfully
You anchor me


from the chocolatezeus collection 6/10/06 (c)

From the Depths of Within

Your Fear

Lost within your nagging thoughts
Against this stone wall you brought
A bitter fight never ends
True love the catalyst

Unconditional love the culprit
Compassionate fear against it
Anger, rememberence bring interferrence
Blocking our blessings
Rekindled stresses

Fear of a past
Fear of taking off that angry mask
The Ultimate fear of what is meant
Fear of a union Heaven sent

Now the dark fears have been viewed
Proven to be things that were operationally skewed
Light shed upon it all
Showing reality's tough wall

Release that tight fearful grip
Give life the time to represent
Allow fear to be contained
Opening yourself to life's domain

Fear is but an obstacle
Conquer it
Tame it
Give yourself true credence

Ust it as it was intended
Far from moving through life
Making us think
Live our lives

Tame that fearful ride
Those fearful cries

Rejoice inside

Without fear
You don't need to hide


from the chocolatezeus collection 6/6/06 (c)

Something more from the Mind

Momento's of the Heart and Soul

Despair
Dissapointment
Loneliness
Beating my soul like a bass drum

The cadence deafening
Causing internal insanity
My mind trapped underneath this mountain
Held down by sheer weight of will
Excruciating thoughts

Here
In this moment
Caught
Unreleased


Me this caged
Trapped
Carnal beast

Seeking
Searching
Physical and etheral release

from the chocolatezeus collection 5/22/06 (c)

Silent Regret

Instilled rage
Waves of ocean sized emotion
Everything welled up inside of me
Haunted and taunted
I sometimes just wish it would end

But this silent torture is what makes me a MAN
For so long I denied its existence
Fought each inch of it tooth and nail
Never gaining ground
Never overcoming it at all

Hurricane winds buffeting my soul
Bring me to my knees
Buckling every corner of my soul

A laundry list of past discressions
Things a time machine would fix and reckon
But that is not going to happen
I am here in this void
Vortex of mind and matter
Caught by the things in my life
That TRULY matter

So I yield to my soul
Speaking from and to my heart
Giving way to repentence
The need to grasp the things that I missed in my past start

It is not a whine or anger
Just the bleeding
Piercing of my heart
For it misses what was
Gives in to what should have been

Yielding to a future that will be
Still licking wounds from the regret that life did breathe
The actions mine own
Though I am grown
I couldn't avoid the faults of my own at that time

So I sip my comfort gently
Caressing the wounds that I still keep
Understanding the reasons and regret
Wishing to change past history


from the chocolatezeus collection (c) 5/22/06

Nonchalant Shit

I have sat back to witness and experience this precious attitude among women especially. This I don't give a fuck persona that is ready to be thrown out there for the masses and to protect themselves.

I have that same attitude. And it is shown without measure or quarter given. But that is for the masses, the people that have no meaning. For me that attitude is reserved for the non personal individuals.

Yet, I have learned that I am the only that sees it that way. For I have come into contact directly with the attitude, talk, and more. For it is the most sinister and can be devastating action that can be done against someone that cares. That is why it is put to use. To inflict as much pain as possible.

Crazy thing is I have learned to look past that. Love past that. I dont' be stupid and think that they don't feel some kind of way about me and the reasoning behind their choice to do that. And I am not dumb enough to think that everything is alright. But someone has to be the bigger person and just deal with it.

So when I listen to the what I did, who I did, what is thought of me and what I think. I listen to what is really behind those words and reactions. The pain, the hurt, the experiences. That is my focus not the attack against me. I know that is used to provoke me and to get their anger and feelings out there for satisfaction and vindication.

See, regardless I am fallable man. I am the man that loves and cares even when he is called all kinds of shit and talked about and whatever. I have no choice but to be stronger than that and not let it all destroy me. For regardless through the nonchalant shit and everything else the love remains in my heart.

So call me what you want.
Tell me how much you hate me and dislike me
Give me all the negative nasty comments you can
It still won't change I love you
Me...this man
The one you can't stand

From the Big Evil Collection (c) 5/17/06

Say Hello To The Bad Guy....ME!!

Attitudes
Disgust
Retribution
Sarcastic mess

All tailor made for me
All the things that may or not be seen

My reputation
Legendary associations
All me yet not the real me

See knowing me is a blessing
One that I guard with everything
For I let you in at a price
The price of life

On the outside whatever is seen
I am the whore
The pimp
The asshole bastard that you want me to be

Truthfully I am just me
And that can only be seen if you truly know me
Then again there is still a gap there.
For those close even have a question or two about me in there

So when I am talked about
Brought up
Or things concerning me


I am that bad guy
That nigga
That issue that you seek

Who dat?
The Bad Guy...Me

I'll bee that man in your own mind you see
As for me I stick with who I am
Not playing a song and dance


from the Big Evil collection (c) 5/17/06

Going, Going, Gone

Disgusted
Tired of the disrespect
Caught in the wake of all that was

I look towards my comfort
My pride and joy
Reminded that is no longer the case
Memories no longer are erased

A simple smile to make things feel better
On the surface it is seen
While beneath it is merely a costless gesture

For strength is what I must expose
A moment of weakness will leave me at the mercy
Vulnerability that I cannot allow
For the sharks have circled
Smelling my blood
Seeking for a single wound to expose and use

My wounds already grevious
Yet i cannot wince or grimace
Stand there with internal bleeding
Knowing that all is never what is seen

Adjusting my wedding ring
Revelling in it's strength
The cool protection that it brings to me
Promises, desires and future all there for me

No matter what I do it all for me and mine
Give up all of myself for that simple love
Love of you
Love of my seed
Love of what we have done and seen

Gladly I lay my life down here for you
Without a second thought
A second care
Only continued love and existence is my dare

To the last beat of my heart
I am there
With my last breath
I give you my last ounce of loving care

For I know
You are no longer there
I am gone from being anywhere

Simply Me

I looked at my life recently and became entangled in it's own web.

Chocolatezeus the man that I am.

Loving stupidly. Opening up heart and soul to have someone in my life to give my life to. It is what has been taught to me. To be that supportive man and lovingly.

Saw as the sum of my mistakes. Yeah I am not perfect. *LOL* But who is? I leap, jump and sometimes blindly into things because of whatever reason. Much less now than I did previously and very rarely.

Caught in heartless endings. Slapped in the face with things that I did or did not do. Leaving me not to be bother to argue the point. I watch as the heat, passion of love turns to cold, hard quicksand. Yet I am always in the wrong. No, I agreed to that mess when I was spineless. Never will happen again.

Recently seeing where it all began. How even in the 6th grade I touch lives and began. How I was the "just a friend man." The girls ear, is what I was. Hell basically it is what I remain also. I am that man that is easy to talk to and discuss just about everything.

The same blessing of friendships and relationships having meaning and importance to me led to a curse. The women that talk to me and we interact I allowed to get in the way. Even when I made my woman my queen it was never seen. Though she sat up on her pedestal tall, she elected to not see it and think I was at fault. Women do love me and seek me for advice and comfort. But know that MY WOMAN comes first no matter what.

I ride quietly alone in life. Not because I have to or have no one to spend time with or hang out, but because it is easier that way. I sought only one companion. One permanent and true. One that could accept me for me and love me to death too. I found some things in my search. Things that I have to say have worked and even may have worked. Found my soulmate a couple of times. I guess it wasn't in the cards to work. Love them anyway anyhow.

A lover of children. My heart is my god daughter. Knowing that to me I have been there from the very start. My child basically. Replacement for what I would truly want but can't have. My own. Ready to play and be a big kid at heart.

I am simply yet quite complex. Yeah that can be confusing I see.
All you need is:

• Make love to me
• Love me completely
• Accept me for me
• Get to know and understand me

I don't have to be out partying all the time. You will honestly find that I enjoy quiet time, cheese and a fine wine. I am the one you will enjoy spending time with at home or even when you are out and I am all alone. Just dont' think that you can neglect me and keep things right. My attitude won't allow that to be right.

So here we stand a small entrance to this brief man.

The one they call Chocolatezeus and more.

Ask whatever question you want.

You have the floor

Deserving What?

Walk with me for a little bit. In relationship we pick and choose. Learning, makign mistakes is just something that we must do.

When you look at the pros and cons be real wtih yourself and who you are dealing with. Stop the bullshit and references. Either you love or you don't. You are willing to make ti work or you won't.

Leave the controlling, everythign has to be my way at the door you came in from into the relationship. Give into the love and desire you feel for that person instead. They are human: meaning they make mistakes and learn and have free will. Don't let your ego and other looney ass chicks and niggas take your stilo.

So with this being said. Realize what deserving means to you.

Deserving

Here we stand
No longer hand in hand
Estranged unlike anything we ever expected
Our love
Our relationship
We thought kept well protected

What we sought
What we want
Came together as one
To make our future together bright
So what night was it you changed your mind?

When were we no longer deserving of what our hearts found?
Was there more than one pivotal moment?
Our love is supposed to endure
We promised ourselves to live our lives together
Yet now there is merely attitude and whatever

Don't we deserve the best?
Can't we make it through the tests?

Or is it that we deserve something else?
Something that was never told or dealt

You for me
Me for you
That was all I wanted to see
For our love and life had all the deserving I wanted or need

Lifes tough lessons are trying indeed
But that is to merely strengthen our loving seed
It is to make us come together as one
Instead we run
Hide because of our selfish pride

With all that I am done
I deserve better than some weak ass MEDIUM
I hold my head proudly
For I am who I am
Flawed
Broke
Hurt

But I bring with me a willingness, passion to do and achieve
The need and ability to lovingly breathe
Life into whatever I seek

Words ring off lips in reference to me
What they think, thought and thought they could see
Truth or not, I won't remain in the rut they want to place me
Breaking out into a life laden with more

Deserving you say
Deserving is for those that make a true passionate choice and stay

from the chocolatezeus collection (c) 5/17/06

Pursuit, A Journey Through Life

We walk through life battered and bruised. Whether from others or situations that we have been through. Our lives have a true meaning. That is why the trials and tribulations occur. Making us wiser and stronger.

Through the things that have gone on in my life lately I have had to push forward and endure. God and myself have much more in store.

So I wrote this lil piece

Pursuit of Life

Caught in life's deadly snare
At times not even wanting to even be there
Looking upon the future with despair
Bewilder by the things that you must endure
Plans, ideas all seem futile

You seek shelter from the storm
A comfortzone
Someplace to gather your warmth
Not from the changes in temperature
But to rejuvenate your soul
To make you seem again whole

Gather
Collect yourself
Strengthen yourself for that next section or run
Life is never simple
Shows how things develop a true meaning
For without those obstacles there
Achievment really wouldn't make us care

Ripped
Battered
Beaten and weary
Hold steadfast to the course
NO matter what or who the assault may be
For it shows you that this direction is right
But you won't achieve it without a fight
One to show that you deserve whats ahead of you

So remain strong
Vigilant and brave
Give into your goals, desires and future
Pursuit of life is the only truth in any of us


from the chocolatezeus collection (c) 5/17/06

The Opening of Darkness Again

Cloaked in darkness
Movement invisible
Soft foot falls
Gripped within my purpose

The only reason I am here
Retribution
Caught in this turmoil
In need of some type of relief

I work my deadly majics
My tanjian skills alive
Time, being held deep inside

Hatred
Anger
Contempt
All focused to one simple used instrument

Hell bent relentless
Hellhound chomping at the bit
The darkness respresentative

You sought what was held within
Release of the Beast is what you sought
It came at a price
But it is what you brought

The Sands of time came to this complete stop
I guess time travel is what you sought
Now the hands are wrought

Weapons and shield have been brought
By myside I hold court
Justice about to be brought

Thank you everything has come to its culmination
Through all your emination
Public and private orchestrations
The case became closed
Your path and mine you chose

Bless you for who you are
Thank you for opening the gates wide and far
Now reality shines above us all
That the darkness had to fall

from the Big Evil collection 5/16/06 (c)

Loving to Hate

We go through life learning and growing. Twists, turns and obstacles fly in our paths. It is how we handle, recooperate and learn from the things that we go through that define us.

When we make mistakes and disagree in our lives . We struggle to deal with our emotions, our heart. Fighting what it is said by our mind against our heart.

It takes a strong person to admit. To correct the bullshit. To wade through it to that goal regardless.

What is love without the hardships?


We love hard
We fight hard
Going down into each other very existence
Persistence is not one of our strong points

Lashing, slashing attacks
Against each other
Our character
Our actions
Our very heart

Angry in love
We fight
We have fought

Lust
Distrust
Forgiveness
Yet not forgotten

As much as you love me
You hate me
As much as you hate me
You love me

The see saw of emotions and feelings
Caught securely in what we are feeling
But still my heart remains yeilding

Though you may hurt and sting
Through all your sarcastic banter that sings
My love for you remains
Call it insane
But you still have my heart this way

So love me you do
Hate me you are
In the end
You will still be my lil shining star

from the chocolatezeus collection 5/16/06 (c)