Saturday, October 10, 2015

Antique Relations In A Modern Hopeless Pit

Being direct is the new calamity.
No hidden agenda. Everything slapped in your face.

Fleeting comments about love, feelings and emotions. Merely punchlines to be used. It can be seen as disparaging or simply the de-evolution of everything.

Leaving the few of us relics from an ancient land in a modern decaying labyrinth. Wading through carcasses of fellow thinking comrades. Lost in thoughts and realizations of love and the effects that it brings. hell even the ability to not run or cower in fear from the use and possibility.

Still I remain. I won't cower in shame or deny what this means or brings. I will simply be me and allow everyone else to do their own thing. No need to capitulate with their vision of how this should be. I merely keep the switch to the off position so that they can be comfortable and happy.

Yes, it would be nice if there were receptive thinking and beings. That we could freely drop these issues of individual rejection and vulnerability. But here we are 2015 and that is an ideology that is deader than the Dead Poets Society.

From living life and this past years experiences especially. I have had the hubble telescope available to see instead the microscopes that I was using.

Don't worry there will be no love, concern, emotion or feeling. The new human manifesto has received. And we are now applying it as you wished to all forms of relationships. Oh wait, I am sorry let me use your new term....situationships.

There you go. Happy.

Friday, October 09, 2015

The Modern Twilight Zone

There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone.
— Rod Serling

This literally sums up things to a tee.

I remain in the twilight zone with my interactions with people. Not only is it because I walk alone through the valley or that I am a recluse like the Ancient One.

When they have those feelings or thoughts about me they just don't quite understand. Or when I explain my ability to express, act and see things in merely black and white. These things and more befuddle them.

As I stand here looking down the rabbit hole at most everyone else. I wonder what will be next in the chaos of it all? I am close to the select few that can accept that I am the anomaly that I am. And we can laugh, talk openly and just be. That holds a special place to me. When I can relax, laugh, share the things that bother and pain me while being my normal crazy self then you are key to me.

My alien lovers are a small group. But I wouldn't trade them for anything. I can smack an ass, grab a titty, discuss mental therapy while laughing about old cartoon rap beats. Yeah, things are just that complex and simple between us. Priceless!

So this 8th dimension I live in as the resident alien I reside in comfortably and happily.

If you got the qualities, then you can join in abnormality. It is so much better than that drone thinking.

Cue my theme music...

Thursday, October 08, 2015

I Am What I Am...And That Is....

I look at what is said of me. What is described of me. And it is a plethora of things and many of the same things.

As I was talking with Auntie earlier. Commentary was made by the related folks about how I don't spend time around them and that I think I am uppity or some shit. Nothing said to me of course. That tends to be a well established rule and I am glad they adhere to it.

Parental units speak about how I listen to friends.. Lmao And my friends laugh hysterically at that. They know I listen but no matter what I do what is in my best interest. But I don't just go running to them for input so I can do what they say. I do my own thinking.

The fact that I cause minds to not be able to connect the dots makes me smile. I don't want to be another drone. And it saves me in thoughts. Especially lately this has come up. My normal nature just doesn't fall in line with every other man or person.

I am the fulcrum. Balance between the light and dark. Both love and apathy live just as strong in my heart. Applied in ways that others don't understand or agree with. I give those that I love, in love with and are the One the light side of me. While those that aren't get basically nothing but dark. The part that doesn't destroy you unless you violate but still not the good citizen always helping everyone type of bloke.

And the conflict is not only with those that I am not deeply connected with but with those that have my heart. The times when the meeting of the minds has unraveled apart. When even they say that they just don't understand me. And I merely smile and say it is ok though, you love me.

See,
I don't apologize for just being me. The evil, asshole that won't conform to what you feel and think. The one that won't cave to your cliquish things. I am public enemy number one to known and unknown. I hold my position with pride and in high stride.

As I continue to be direct, smash mouth talking and acting. Along with the antithesis to commonality. I will take all the heat. Being weird, insane and different has always been me.

I will continue to keep it real about how I feel, what I want and what I will not tolerate or need near me.

I am one half of the Road Warriors

Big Evil

Chocolatezeus

Apocalypse


as I sit here on the board of the ABM proudly. I am that weird, crazy motherfucker that you heard about.

YEAH THAT'S ME!!!!

I See Why the Newbie Stigma Now

This is based from a bdsm conference call that I am on once a week many times.

In this corner we have the self proclaimed dominant and master. He tells us that he was 4 subs and 3 slaves. They do not all live with him. Umm, actually I am not sure any of them live with him. He is all about eating healthy and exercise being the key to everything and should be done to make everything better. Fights the police. Tells us that he gets off court cases by telling the judge that he doesn't recognize their authority.

He is not trained, mentored or anything. He just knew what to do since someone gave him their girlfriend when he was a teenager. (no, I am not making this stuff up)

Stated that subs and Doms/Masters should be around each other at all times. I quote, "if I am taking a shit, then she needs to be right in there with me." Even to go further to say even vanilla relationships have to be right next to each other 24/7 to work.

Oh, and apparently feels there is no need to be bothered with the community. (perish the thought)

Woosah and vanglorious! And those are the things I could deal with.

Here is where shit hit the fan and splattered everywhere. 

He said that once a sub gives consent that she basically can't take it back. That she has signed on to do whatever he requires, whenever he requires. That he asks all these questions to cover everything that needs to be known basically. (umm ok)

His belief is that no matter what a sub is going through or feels matters not as long as she serves him.

Ok, there was a plethora of other things I think. Honestly, my brain locked up when he started talking.

After this episode I see why experienced folks in the lifestyle look crazy and disassociate with newbies. This episode right here is one of utter contempt and first and foremost extremely dangerous. Which is what I attempted to get him to understand the legal ramifications of what he was saying. And to claim you have all these years of experience and you talking like this? I felt sorry for every submissive and slave there is.

My Take:

Now, I am one of these newbies. Not claiming to be an expert or to know anything. But damn at least I do learn and listen. 

I was stuck on stupid when he basically said that he would and could violate a subs consent. Basically revoking her consent permanently. This is not the way that D/s relations or even bdsm play goes. Consent has to be given or it is a lawful act of assault. But to tell a sub you can't say no to you is ludicrous and preparation for disaster. 

I believe in natural Dominance because it applies to me. But I don't subscribe to that makes me the best Dom and I have no need for training or being mentored. But, yes it is a part of me that has always been there and in use naturally. I am just learning to harness, increase and properly apply that Dominance now. 

And there there is the "relationships only work if you are up under each other at all times," mentality. This shit doesn't work at all. People have to understand that relationships are about 2 or more individuals coming together as a whole. That doesn't change the need or the fact tha tall involved need to be individuals still. That means they still need to do things for themselves and by themselves. I know this for myself. When she needs her space all I ask is for her to tell me. I may want to be Mr Fix it (ok, always) but she needs her time to herself to deal. I take my time out as well. That doesn't mean that we have left the relationship. I like to discuss whatever happened after the time is over with. 

From the moment he began talking I was bewildered. I stopped talking when I tried to explain to him legal ramifications and the need for consent. But I don't argue with nobody. In the end I was just in fear for and of the submissives. 

After this I fully see why we are shunned as newbies with this time of activity and actions going on out there. I don't fall into that category and it is unfortunate. But this hit the bullseye last night. 

Well, all I can say is that "it wasn't me." And I really hope no one is falling for whatever he is selling.

Tuesday, October 06, 2015

Ultimate Submission and Consequences

Yes, yes I am a Dom and this is not about to be about what a submissive is or how there are not that many real submissives or any of that.

Lately I have met and came across subs that are deep in their submission. They have been in high protocols as well as less protocol situations.

I will preface this with. Your submission is wonderful. I love it and will be glad when I have that type of dedicated submission one day. Hell, I wouldn't be a Dom and want the D/s relationship if that wasn't the case. (silly me) And on both sides of the slash it is important to adhere to proper standards and consideration for people, life and reality.

With that said here I go:

The Case of Ultimate Submission or Simply Misguided Submission

In talking to subs they have expressed how deeply their submission goes for their Dominant or Master. The concern and care for them and the household. From making sure all plans are addressed to proper service and etiquette.

Where my concern lies is when that submission becomes a liability, whether on purpose or by accident. I mean when the submissive is being attacked or harmed in a non consensual or even dangerous way then I feel that the sub needs to address that for the sake of their safety. Now, I say address that according to the rules of their dynamic. Unless it is something obviously that needs to break that rule like rape, attempted murder, live autopsy. These thing that would be done for real and not as a scene.

So when I hear about instances that occur where first and foremost the D/M in that situation should never have put the sub and others in, in the first place. I am disheartened that the subs wouldn't see how detrimental of a violation this is at that point. Then I look at the deep rooted submission and understand that it is basically a primal urge that they are dealing with. But the fight or flight feeling should have trumped that when you know it is not a scene or behavior agreed on previously.

The point of D/s and M/s is about the relationship and hierarchy within it. It is about safe and consensual establishment of a relationship dynamic to further and empower those within the relationship.

But in this ultimate form of submission. There is a danger of serious injury and destruction when the sub doesn't and or can't express or remove themselves from the violating situation. Or that the Dom or Master have violated what was already established with harmful intent.

It is a quandry. One that I reflected on after hearing the things that have happened to these people.

But then again I am new. So what do I know?

I guess it is time to eat lunch now. What are you having for dinner today?

This Slut Walk stuff

Ok I listened to the Temptress' show tonight and called in. The topic..slut walk.

apparently this is being labeled as a female empowerment movement. Unfortunately the fact that this amber rose looking monkey is the face plastered on this thing in the us doesn't inspire that this will work.

This is supposed to be about females being and to fuck and suck whoever they want and however many they want.

I am a chauvinist and I don't give a fuck how many they fuck, want to fuck or have fucked. Do what you want as long as it doesn't negatively impact someone else I say.

Then it is projected that men want a woman that is wifey material aka the trophy on your arm and then find someone else that is the super freaky slut whore that they want. Because the so called rule is that you can't have both in the same person and be married to them. All that thinking is a super bowl size of bullshit. It is severely stupid.

As you saw above I am a chauvinist. But I married the woman that could cook, clean, take to balls and after five events and was my on my arm eye candy as well as being a super freaky whore. I date Lil Red because she is gorgeous, intelligent, charismatic plus she is a fucking slut and a whore just how I want her to be. She is the completely package that I want and need. Thus her station and position.

See, I learned a long time ago I need what makes me happy and satisfied. I keep that to fulfill my needs. I won't settle for less unless it is the return to the Build a Bitch program. I need you to have majority of the stuff I need so I can be happy.

The US society of ignorance is the cause of all this. Sexually repressed and imprisoned culture that is our country is one of the worst on the planet. Yes, they tell females they shouldn't dress provocative because they will get raped or be seen as something less than the ideal woman. And this is what we instill in people at all times. Now I do not want my god daughter being a slut as she is growing up at all. But this goes in to context with men as well. Because regardless of if I fuck any pussy there is or I am picky as hell like I am it doesn't matter to anyone.  But there are always those judgments and issues from the peons.

When I asked the Temptress about whether they had supporting programs and things to educate people and so forth. She said they did and I looked at an article briefly that seemed to back that up. Because if there was nothing but publicity and shit but there wasn't any actual revolution attempt at change then I would have called this a fucking clusterfuck.

I have to laugh because if males decided to empower themselves then it is called sexism. And that is like hoping a bomb doesn't go off after it didn't deploy. There is beyond a double standard here for sure

Well get your slut walk on and all that. Do your thing and be all of you that you can be.

Monday, October 05, 2015

All Out...Stand Out

I have had to laugh at people that think they know you from one brief meeting or looking at pics in your gallery. That kind of ignorance always provides conversations of how entertainingly stupid the individuals are.

But in honesty I am not your norm. I have been that way from the beginning. I don't fit your mold of what you thought about men or how I act or think. And I don't say this just because. I have plenty of references to back this up. lol

The only thing I know is being myself. That makes me weird and stand out at all times. Whether it is the vanilla, swinger or bdsm world. I operate on my premises not others. I think for myself and refuse to be a drone like so many others.

I listen to classical, heavy metal, hardcore rap and big band.

I am a geek that loves sci fi, reading, weapons research and intellectual things.

My fundamentals remain the same. Be myself at all times. Do not follow the leader out of the majorities decisions. Shoot straight and always attack. Never surrender or go backwards.

Relationship wise:
There has been debate about how I am so direct with females about what I want, don't want, their position and where I am at.  I have been told that it is too much to give females all that information up front so they can formulate a path based on me being transparent. It thought they wanted real! My bad, my mistake. Lesson learned but I still will just be me.

It has been asked why I am not a sweet teddy bear to everyone. Basically, because that is because that is reserved for who I deem worthy of it. Just like I don't give my heart to just anyone or fuck everyone. I am picky and treat what is important to me at that level. And I know it is not the norm.  I simply treat people according to their place. The people said I should just like and love everyone and fake it if I don't. I say thee nay.

I don't want to be summed up with everyone else. I am not a carbon copy of anyone. It may be said that I strive to be different, but I honestly just be myself. That is what makes me strange, different and stand out.

It's ok when you say that you just don't fit anything I thought or experienced. It is alright that you can't grasp why I won't conform.

You can choose to get to know me and show initiative. Or just do what you do.

Now let's go hang out with the Killer Clowns from Outer Space and have some drinks while we have plenty of adult activity!

Plug and Play

This truly sums up society and people these days. I mean the good and the bad. You can get quick access with blind changes and permissions.  It can work. And you can have connection and basic issues.

The rain has become somewhat constant this morning making things flood more. We will see what happens today. I hear their daughter talking after coming back already this morning so I guess they figured out flooding and winds means closed office.

I am ready for Ru Ru to wake up and leave kemah so I can get some well need Road Warrior stories today.

It's time for you to enjoy your day. So get out there and do it

It's Monday Again

A week that will definitely be on the infamy list for sure.

I ended up:

  • Learning even more
  • Surprised
  • implementing new rules
  • Enjoyed some good debate and convos
  • Dealt with things
  • Provided support
I walk this road. Valley of death surrounding me fully. Always the lone monster in the beast land.

Death of a teddy bear. Or like Jinno from afro samurai with the teddy bear head. Sums up some things. 

I need my fix and a break. That getaway that makes me just laugh and smile. Sigh in pleasure and delight.

hmm no sleep again. I guess I will try and lay down since I just finished watching Sicario. Benicio del toro is a good actor.

well, I am glad you got your sleep. Make sure to have a good day and start your week off right.

I am ready for a hurricane so I can stand outside and enjoy it all.

Sunday, October 04, 2015

All Night Morning

There are a lot of things I will have to put in the journal from this week.

My outlook on emotions, feelings and the application of interest when it comes to dating has shown me just how shitty it is.

Nobody wants to feel a person when they don't really feel them. Or to not even be acknowledged by a person that you are with. Simple things but oh so deadly.

I can accept you and that means all of you. I just can't fight against anyone anymore about love, our relationship and what they mean to me.

This relationship series is going well. Makes you thing and express. Maybe get some understandings or views.

Speaking of views. The landscape is about to change.
I asked the probing questions. I got answers. Now implementing the resolutions. And they are in Havoc Apocalypse style.

Well, I guess I should try to get a nap in for a little bit.

will return