To say that it has been a journey would be a gross understatement. lol
There have been times where the thought came across, "what is the purpose?" It is not for those that want the easy road. Believe me there is less stress and wanting to not playfully choke the shit out of your submissive at times. But that is why we control ourselves, lead and maintain.
I started this journey with no mentor or close people to talk to. I started on calls and in groups. listening and paying attention. Black Beat opened my eyes about even more things and it was off to the races from there.
First dynamic was full submersion and very little of what I should have done like set thorough, explicit guidelines, expectations and all. More love than anything resembling D/s for a moment there.
Second dynamic wasn't even one I really wanted but I choose to take a bet and then see what another style submissive would be like. This was way more structured than the first one but i still should have been more strict, discerning and thorough.
These two and that other mess i allowed happen showed me just how bad I had to revamp everything. The system has been extremely changed now. Not perfect but better than previously for whoever may show up that is new. Both vanilla and lifestyles.
I was asked how do I deal with it. Especially considering the types I am attracted to end up with and all that. It is all about balance. Because you are going to deal with their attitudes, life issues and emotions and more on a regular basis. They are not going to make any sense at all and you will have to decipher it or get them to explain it finally. You have those that will want to rebel against you and fight their submission, you and the journey. Those you have to choose if it is worthwhile or not.
I have had submissive tell me I need to do it like this other guy because it works for me. Or you need to find a mentor so this will work. And I have heard other things. Reality is that it takes two at least in this to make and want things to work. Submission is not a gift. It is a choice. And if they are fighting their choice then they obviously don't want to be there so let the do them.
And there is this misconception about this is all about the Dominant getting all that they want. A real Dominant doesn't focus on that. We focus on our submissive. Like I make sure that her educational, career goals and other important things are worked towards, achieved and fulfilled. She serves me through her representation, her submission to me and alignment of will.
I have seen the disasters.
Watched and been involved in the topping from the bottom mess.
Stood in the fire as well outside of it.
D/s is a beautiful, stable and nurturing life if those involved are willing, able and down for the journey together.
