oh yeah I am supposed to be happy and feel great.
When the parental units have cost me trips, my birthday, amsterdam and a pile of more stuff.
Remind me why and when happiness is supposed to happen? Because this is some fucking bullshit!
Nothing but anger and rage
Saturday, June 06, 2015
Empty Vessel
a pure numbness
there is nothing left
a pile of hatred
burned into white cinders
happiness
a blocked wish
pipe dream to everything
plans destroyed
efforts dashed against black holes
corporal punishment
the result of laughter's hold
even Ru said something
is seriously wrong
your voice is low and cold
yet I am the one who needs
to be this beacon of smiles and grins
stained glass distortions
emptiness reigns
a thousand black holes
have engulfed my
heart, soul and living
rock bottom
dirty deeds
we are past the red line
everything is mega
empty
from the evil chocolatezeus collection 6/6/15 (c)
there is nothing left
a pile of hatred
burned into white cinders
happiness
a blocked wish
pipe dream to everything
plans destroyed
efforts dashed against black holes
corporal punishment
the result of laughter's hold
even Ru said something
is seriously wrong
your voice is low and cold
yet I am the one who needs
to be this beacon of smiles and grins
stained glass distortions
emptiness reigns
a thousand black holes
have engulfed my
heart, soul and living
rock bottom
dirty deeds
we are past the red line
everything is mega
empty
from the evil chocolatezeus collection 6/6/15 (c)
Friday, June 05, 2015
Messy Ass People And the Lifestyle
I am observant but in this last two years even I had to stop laughing at the monkeys and their activities in the lifestyle. Oh, it is not just bdsm but swinging also.
Don't worry, it doesn't just stop there. They make sure to take advantage of this guys s type every chance they get. Talking about how they love her and all that. When the only thing they are interested in is fucking her sir. And that is the only time she sees him. Of course she has low self esteem and stuff,, but they take advantage of that. But remember those words of love and family. It is sad but hey these are users. So you can't expect anything less.
Swinging means sharing and swapping within the confines of whatever rules couples may have. People really got it fucked up these days with their monkey ass shit. That is why I backed off from hanging out with any of them. Because there are only a few that are true and you can hang out with without the total and utter bullshit.
Thankful for real swingers.
The hot mess I have witnessed first hand in this has been the making of every soap opera.
As with swinging you have poly allegedly in use in dynamics. But it is basically pretend poly. I mean, if you have to creep around on your dom or with a dom that has other s types then you are merely pretending and keeping things messy. There is no need for this creeping mess at all. And the funny part is when the s type that is creeping with the dom that has s types has so many issues with his s types. But smiling in their face and talking to them like everything is alright. Just messy and drama. Just keep it real. You don't like them and you want them gone. So you keep fucking the dom and smiling in his s types faces. And as the dom you keep fucking the side chicks even though you can just get rid of your s types if they are not what you want and or simple do whoever you want and everyone knows about it.
Damn people just keep shit going and fucked up
The Facade of Swinging
From the episode last year of chick talking about she fucked a guy she had agreed that she would leave alone because her so called girlfriend asked her to. But this chick and the guy fuck anyway behind the chick back. And then always hollering about we all family. *snicker* Yeah ok.Don't worry, it doesn't just stop there. They make sure to take advantage of this guys s type every chance they get. Talking about how they love her and all that. When the only thing they are interested in is fucking her sir. And that is the only time she sees him. Of course she has low self esteem and stuff,, but they take advantage of that. But remember those words of love and family. It is sad but hey these are users. So you can't expect anything less.
Swinging means sharing and swapping within the confines of whatever rules couples may have. People really got it fucked up these days with their monkey ass shit. That is why I backed off from hanging out with any of them. Because there are only a few that are true and you can hang out with without the total and utter bullshit.
Thankful for real swingers.
Boisterous and Back Stabbing BDSM
The hot mess I have witnessed first hand in this has been the making of every soap opera.
As with swinging you have poly allegedly in use in dynamics. But it is basically pretend poly. I mean, if you have to creep around on your dom or with a dom that has other s types then you are merely pretending and keeping things messy. There is no need for this creeping mess at all. And the funny part is when the s type that is creeping with the dom that has s types has so many issues with his s types. But smiling in their face and talking to them like everything is alright. Just messy and drama. Just keep it real. You don't like them and you want them gone. So you keep fucking the dom and smiling in his s types faces. And as the dom you keep fucking the side chicks even though you can just get rid of your s types if they are not what you want and or simple do whoever you want and everyone knows about it.
Damn people just keep shit going and fucked up
Wednesday, June 03, 2015
Today's Apocalypse Training sponsored by Rage of an Angry Black Man
Well I hit the gym this morning. After the culmination of things this week and last night. I probably shouldn't have went to the gym today. I over did everything. I am in pain. And more pain than normal. I might have hurt something but fuck it. It will have to die and I will continue on.
lol I getting more eye opening revelations as the year progresses. And it really is looking like personally going old school again.
lol I am going to do the gray area as people love to be in. But it will be attached to the old me.
Fuck it!
Unloading a clip in she ceiling.
On to the next Hellish episode
Tuesday, June 02, 2015
I NEED!!!
I need to fuck someone's brains out.
Flog, cane and paddle them until my inner self says "that is enough"
Fuck Kym Whitley, Kim Eternity, Carmen Hayes, Menaja and Jill Scott for starters. Until they are all passed out twice.
I need my fix to be feed to astronomical proportions now! The situation and answer to it are unfortunate.
and I still need to fuck Salt n Pepa until they are just melted piles. Especially Salt with her big ass titties and thickness.
I need to fuck and break someone. Basically
Flog, cane and paddle them until my inner self says "that is enough"
Fuck Kym Whitley, Kim Eternity, Carmen Hayes, Menaja and Jill Scott for starters. Until they are all passed out twice.
I need my fix to be feed to astronomical proportions now! The situation and answer to it are unfortunate.
and I still need to fuck Salt n Pepa until they are just melted piles. Especially Salt with her big ass titties and thickness.
I need to fuck and break someone. Basically
Cold Stone Living
Sin Eater
The Coldest Winter yet
heart set in concrete
burning in a brimstone set
ripped and torn flesh
skeleton and muscle
cleaved to a senewed
remnant
but Evil never rests
And the Death is merely
living
*evil laughter*
Apocalypse
the Alpha and Omega set!
The Coldest Winter yet
heart set in concrete
burning in a brimstone set
ripped and torn flesh
skeleton and muscle
cleaved to a senewed
remnant
but Evil never rests
And the Death is merely
living
*evil laughter*
Apocalypse
the Alpha and Omega set!
In that BACDAFUCUP Mood
I am on that angry black man music.
Letting the pen maim and kill.
Immersed in the current situation fully
Giving and taking
The Last Ride!
Locked and loaded
Evil's Last stand
LoL
Yeah right!
Letting the pen maim and kill.
Immersed in the current situation fully
Giving and taking
The Last Ride!
Locked and loaded
Evil's Last stand
LoL
Yeah right!
Black Hole Slam
There was the beginning. Fun, excitement and anticipation. Now there is merely a matter of "it is what it is."
I have always been just me. The one that is strange, stands out and off. I always thought being your own person, an original was important. Making a distinction between those you held in high regard, esteem and connection and those that were simply the public.
Apparently being yourself is frowned up on and wrong when it comes to relationships. So I have been wrong from the start. I am supposed to treat everyone nice like the willy wonka chocolate factory and then shove them out the airlocks. Fine.
Those that I love and I am close to are parts of me. Meaning they make me happy, sad and all that stuff. the things that the public won't get from me. I know what makes me happy and when. with these comments of I would be so much better if I am nicer to the humans going on. I am supposed to do for everyone and make everyone feel wonderful.
Being married really spoiled me. To thinking that a woman could understand, appreciate and accept that I treat them unlike others because of her place and meaning to me. That whatever way I interact with others was no where near as important. My wife understood, accepted and laughed about it many times. My happiness and being content is really simple. It is not complicated. Others make it complicated.
I make decisions that others choose to take time and forever or never to do. I analyze with my pros and cons and go from there with whether it is acceptable or not. I have no problem working towards a future with getting to know and building things. But damn this day and age they want you to jump through a bunch of hoops for them. I met my wife and a year later got engaged and then a year after that got married. I move with purpose and knowledge of what fits and what doesn't. Even when things surface later it is workable because the foundation. And this intense purpose works for me when it is someone that I choose to be involved with permanently. When I really don't have any permanent feelings about them then who gives a damn.
I was on the event horizon last year. I moved away from the black hole. Now I seem to be sitting in the middle of it. The crux of the nonchalant, emptiness.
Things this year have really revealed themselves. Threat level is at Alpha and response is at the Omega level. This ebb and flow has been unbelievable.
Yeah, the phrase "it is what it is," sums up feelings, experiences, the year and all.
oh well fuck it
I have always been just me. The one that is strange, stands out and off. I always thought being your own person, an original was important. Making a distinction between those you held in high regard, esteem and connection and those that were simply the public.
Apparently being yourself is frowned up on and wrong when it comes to relationships. So I have been wrong from the start. I am supposed to treat everyone nice like the willy wonka chocolate factory and then shove them out the airlocks. Fine.
Those that I love and I am close to are parts of me. Meaning they make me happy, sad and all that stuff. the things that the public won't get from me. I know what makes me happy and when. with these comments of I would be so much better if I am nicer to the humans going on. I am supposed to do for everyone and make everyone feel wonderful.
Being married really spoiled me. To thinking that a woman could understand, appreciate and accept that I treat them unlike others because of her place and meaning to me. That whatever way I interact with others was no where near as important. My wife understood, accepted and laughed about it many times. My happiness and being content is really simple. It is not complicated. Others make it complicated.
I make decisions that others choose to take time and forever or never to do. I analyze with my pros and cons and go from there with whether it is acceptable or not. I have no problem working towards a future with getting to know and building things. But damn this day and age they want you to jump through a bunch of hoops for them. I met my wife and a year later got engaged and then a year after that got married. I move with purpose and knowledge of what fits and what doesn't. Even when things surface later it is workable because the foundation. And this intense purpose works for me when it is someone that I choose to be involved with permanently. When I really don't have any permanent feelings about them then who gives a damn.
I was on the event horizon last year. I moved away from the black hole. Now I seem to be sitting in the middle of it. The crux of the nonchalant, emptiness.
Things this year have really revealed themselves. Threat level is at Alpha and response is at the Omega level. This ebb and flow has been unbelievable.
Yeah, the phrase "it is what it is," sums up feelings, experiences, the year and all.
oh well fuck it
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