The Results of Connections and the Future

There has been a lot going on in my mind as well as out of it.

One of the things that has been most important to me has been CONNECTION. It has been one of those things that have kept me grounded, connects me intimately and allows true access to the deepest parts of me. This comes in levels of course with the inner sanctum being the throne room where you can Truly be connected to me.

But the fear and responsibility of that connection is what I have seen being such a major issue. Even when I have given up a lot of vulnerability so they could understand what I want and where I am going. Never have I asked anyone to be where I am because I know they are unable to be that far ahead in what I see.

The other aspect of connections use to be spending time with someone that I wanted to. Taking trips ad having great adventures. The light bulb went off with this lately and I realize that tradition is pretty much dead. Yeah, there may be a miracle somewhere in the future but I am not holding my breath. lol  It just means I am not asking, mentioning or creating interest in any of that unless there is an effort from someone else.

It has been good to get back to traveling. To get away and just relax, eat, drink and be. I already have my list of places to head to. Since I didn't go to Amsterdam last year I am going to either do it the end of this year or early next year.  Add to that the upcoming TX trip (I can't wait to have that much fun and entertainment again....Wooo) Back to the DMV and hitting up Miami. Jamaica is up in the air because my resort would require me having to go with a female (difficult).  But the Italy and Europe trips are looking nice so far. Either way, I am taking it back to the Tried and True Old School Ways.

Not upset. Not really feeling anything at all. I will always be ABM but that is in my blood. But this point has come to where activity is flat basically. The closed off portions of me are there until the situation comes up where it will change that.

I am at a place where I have stood at my crossroads and left the road completely. Much of this is how I was before I got married combined with my experiences and learning from dating since then and especially in the last couple of years.  Focus has changed and I am taking things to the next level.

Looking forward to some play and more disappearing acts. So Big Evil Chocolatezeus and Havoc will be coming to a town near you!!!  *evil laughter*

Time for a cigar and some more moonshine. Have some? lmao

Tossing a Grenade Down the Rabbit Hole

Last year I took a step back. This year I have came to a halt. Now the decision is to decide to carpet bomb or kick everything into the negative zone.

I had a nice birthday today and weekend. Today was full of laughter, talk, smoking, eating and drinking with a lot of thought.

Have to admit that thai food at Tastee Thai is really good. And yeah it is healthy also. lol  But, I needed to go do something today and that is what I chose to do. And as usual it was worth it.

There was only one thing I wanted for my birthday since last year. And I didn't get it. But I expected that so it wasn't a true disappointment. It was merely an affirmation.  So with that comes another change in how things are. I gave it all a chance. I did my part and now I am in the results stage. And I am good after learning this lesson.

Ru and I had talked about things in depth as usual and what had to be done for next year based off of results this summer and this year. And it all has come to fruition.  So a new direction has been taken with new destination.

Through this journey

I have become a better Dominant through walking the minefields, traps and obstacles. There have been some faltering and there was a failure but still things have pressed on. I look at where I was in the beginning till now and I see the progress. The guidance, attention and wisdom to stabilize, create and make things better. This walk has been made through guidance from those with many years experience, my own experience and understanding. Still, I know that this still in it's beginning stages. And I will continue to push forward and progress.

I have come to a point where things have not gone according to plan. What I wanted has been out of my hands. And the struggle has been real.

So I closed down this experiment in niceties and human like atrocities to return to being simply the Titan that I am. As I watched everything from the recent past wash away I realize, what was, what could have been and what is. And now there is only the man, the memories and the thoughts left as any parts of me.

I may think too much and cannot sleep. But I come to understand, sort and make a plan of attack as i begin my assault.

Returning to the World War 2 era of the United States style of being.

Braced and Ready for New Adventures

I am looking forward to leaving the country again. And next year I will be further going back to the old school way of things. No longer weighted with expectations and extraneous outside things. I ride and the adventure begins. If someone wants to ride then so be it. If not...yeah, oh well.

Simply I am me, myself and I. I am not:

• Your exes
• Previous Dominants
• Something you can manipulate and change
• Or your servant

Resistence is futile. But understanding and acceptance of all of me works Perfectly!