I am not the people person.
Nor am I the socialite.
Relationship wise I can be classified as "In the darkest night."
One of the drawbacks of being Onslaught is that when you are stuck waiting it really, really affects you a lot. Moving forward with intent and purpose constantly you seek immediate results and understanding. Not knowing what is coming next because there has been no answer yet is akin to torturous.
But this is the plight that you deal with and live with when it comes to humans. Especially females.
Forming, keeping and managing relationships are already difficult.
I guess it probably is just me. The Zeus element is the cause apparently. The way I am just me causes the humans to respond indifferently.
With females it is like there is a wall that says I can't fall for this even if I want to. Adrienne was the only anomaly that could partially do that so far. And I guess I got spoiled from that.
Hell I just want what I want to work out and move forward.
The tactical board is really a mess right now. And my predictive skills are not showing right now. Hell if I know what is what right this second. And I would be lying if I claimed it didn't bother me.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Life's Personal Labyrinth
My patience is thin.
I go after what I want and if it is not immediate then my interest wanes.
Full speed ahead and Battle Stations tends to be my thing.
It is said I should let people in. But I don't see that ever happening. That was my beginning. Before my evolution that is how things were. I just had to learn to focus on important things more.
I have no problems with my feelings flowing. Giving all of me and more in loving and caring intent. And I willfully and intently give without a second thought.
Yes, the same things that make me the evil stronghold are the things that give those in my world everything that I can. And this is the part Lil Red wants me to allow other people in to see.
Yes, I keep the people that I don't count in my world separate. It doesn't mean I don't speak or that I am not cordial. I am merely wary. It can be seen as distant because I don't do a lot of talking or being in people's faces and all.
I deal with life as it comes. I see it as a constant onslaught. And I have fought and fought.
Right now I don't know what may happen. The things I want are not solidified or happening at the speed or way I chose. So I continued to play the hurry up and wait episode of life. My intentions, desires, wants and needs have been made and communicated.
Stuck in the whirlwind.
Unmoving.
I go after what I want and if it is not immediate then my interest wanes.
Full speed ahead and Battle Stations tends to be my thing.
It is said I should let people in. But I don't see that ever happening. That was my beginning. Before my evolution that is how things were. I just had to learn to focus on important things more.
I have no problems with my feelings flowing. Giving all of me and more in loving and caring intent. And I willfully and intently give without a second thought.
Yes, the same things that make me the evil stronghold are the things that give those in my world everything that I can. And this is the part Lil Red wants me to allow other people in to see.
Yes, I keep the people that I don't count in my world separate. It doesn't mean I don't speak or that I am not cordial. I am merely wary. It can be seen as distant because I don't do a lot of talking or being in people's faces and all.
I deal with life as it comes. I see it as a constant onslaught. And I have fought and fought.
Right now I don't know what may happen. The things I want are not solidified or happening at the speed or way I chose. So I continued to play the hurry up and wait episode of life. My intentions, desires, wants and needs have been made and communicated.
Stuck in the whirlwind.
Unmoving.
Sunday, January 25, 2015
Moments, Moods, Thoughts: Unearthed Treasure
Unearthed Treasure
Like an
Anti-Ahab to the
Whale
Twisted adventure
Failed yet
Successful
Oblivious
I walked into you
The solution to this
weirdness
Post requisite to
What I
Want and need
Laughing at how it
began
With apathetic
Non communication
Destiny set in
New environment
New situation
Big Bang Theory
Proven
Two forces of nature
Mutually exclusive
Culminating
Creating
This
Super nova
Awakening
Without treasure hunting
The grail
Was seen
As I bask in the
light
Treasuring
From the
chocolatezeus collection 1/25/15 ©
Calming The Savage Beast
Through the rage and intensity. The Hulk Smash propensity. I am a caged beast unleashed constantly. That does not mean that there is not or cannot be peace and tranquility when it comes to me.
I find peace in the things I enjoy. Hell, atl was some serious needed peace of great proportions. Going to the Cigar Room here in bama was peace yesterday. Sitting around smoking, talking and laughing at people that are there enjoying themselves regardless of who or what they are in life. Hell, even took a shot with them after one of the guys passed out airplane bottles to everyone there to take a shot together for the new year.
Some of the things that bring me peace and happiness:
- someone I am connected to
- great and a lot of sex
- great food
- conversation that stimulates
- laughter
- great cigars
- traveling
- movies, reading and music
With these things life can be dealt with and defused. These are the moments I remember and hold onto constantly. The hold on reality and the chaos that reigns supreme in everything.
Effects, Affects and Being Zeus
Yes, I can admit I get tunnel vision about some things. I don't notice them at all at times. So with that said...here we go.
I am giving, mean, loving, caring, apathetic and completely unusual. My inner circle is like being the Illuminati to me. When I accept your application and allow you in the trumpets blare and the festivities are of royalty. The outside of that I may acknowledge your existence depending on the moment of the day and what is going on with me.
I thrive on that love, affection, support and vibe that I share to those that are close to me. I will never deny or downplay that. My words and my actions should convey that. Sometimes more effectively than others. I have never seen this as a negative aspect or weakness. It has always been strength and fortitude. And I have seen the point HQ made about maybe missing opportunities. But that is outweighed by the diamonds that are more prevalent through all that being picky.
I am the yin and yang of the dark and the light all rolled up into one being. The past has groomed me to be stronger and more stoic. While the future still holds hope for me. I still see it in it's bitter reality. So, I can be a romantic or the evil one with the booming voice for no reason.
By no means will I ever say I am easy to deal with all the time. After all I am a captain caveman, club carrying chauvinist in true form. But I will love you intensely, care for and about you as well as be there with you as much as possible.
I know what I want and even who I want it with. The problem is always that I am not the only one in the equation. So I ride the waves of life to see where they will lead to.
Coming off eye opening revelations, smiles and feeling great. I ponder on the next thing. The movement into more of me.
I have embraced my sadistic and unique ways. From the super horny, greedy fuck you to death happily and try to kill me with orgasms me. To the give me all the pain that you seek and can keep so that I can make you my Pain Masterpiece. And allowing more and more of my Beast Mode out has been intoxicating. I am glad I did it in steps and have been able to let more of it loose. The ultimate beast mode still spars some concern for me but I lick my lips in anticipating it's delicious release. So many skills have to be worked on to reach the peak.
As Ru Ru and I have said to each other. Our sex drives are super crazy. We are not in the best of shape but fucking, sucking and everything for ours is like automatic with us. If I am feeling you and enjoying us fucking. I will gladly fuck you for days, weeks and eternity. They said us old men shouldn't want sex anymore. that at 20 we have reached our peak and fall there after rapidly. Then why does it seem that my need and desire is increasing? It leaves me with that sexual heightened energy. In a frenzy. And I recognize the recipient may not be taking it the way I am. *lol* But it be calling me!
So I am working on the relationships that I want and intend to keep. The ones that are not cutting it will be released. The ones I want I am sinking more energy, passion and everything into them. I guess those recipients better get ready for more intensity.
This months adventure was a blessing. One that I am still basking in and thankful for. Showing me what can be. The vibe and connection that is awe inspiring.
The life of Zeus. Full adventure and notoriety.
I am giving, mean, loving, caring, apathetic and completely unusual. My inner circle is like being the Illuminati to me. When I accept your application and allow you in the trumpets blare and the festivities are of royalty. The outside of that I may acknowledge your existence depending on the moment of the day and what is going on with me.
I thrive on that love, affection, support and vibe that I share to those that are close to me. I will never deny or downplay that. My words and my actions should convey that. Sometimes more effectively than others. I have never seen this as a negative aspect or weakness. It has always been strength and fortitude. And I have seen the point HQ made about maybe missing opportunities. But that is outweighed by the diamonds that are more prevalent through all that being picky.
I am the yin and yang of the dark and the light all rolled up into one being. The past has groomed me to be stronger and more stoic. While the future still holds hope for me. I still see it in it's bitter reality. So, I can be a romantic or the evil one with the booming voice for no reason.
By no means will I ever say I am easy to deal with all the time. After all I am a captain caveman, club carrying chauvinist in true form. But I will love you intensely, care for and about you as well as be there with you as much as possible.
I know what I want and even who I want it with. The problem is always that I am not the only one in the equation. So I ride the waves of life to see where they will lead to.
Coming off eye opening revelations, smiles and feeling great. I ponder on the next thing. The movement into more of me.
I have embraced my sadistic and unique ways. From the super horny, greedy fuck you to death happily and try to kill me with orgasms me. To the give me all the pain that you seek and can keep so that I can make you my Pain Masterpiece. And allowing more and more of my Beast Mode out has been intoxicating. I am glad I did it in steps and have been able to let more of it loose. The ultimate beast mode still spars some concern for me but I lick my lips in anticipating it's delicious release. So many skills have to be worked on to reach the peak.
As Ru Ru and I have said to each other. Our sex drives are super crazy. We are not in the best of shape but fucking, sucking and everything for ours is like automatic with us. If I am feeling you and enjoying us fucking. I will gladly fuck you for days, weeks and eternity. They said us old men shouldn't want sex anymore. that at 20 we have reached our peak and fall there after rapidly. Then why does it seem that my need and desire is increasing? It leaves me with that sexual heightened energy. In a frenzy. And I recognize the recipient may not be taking it the way I am. *lol* But it be calling me!
So I am working on the relationships that I want and intend to keep. The ones that are not cutting it will be released. The ones I want I am sinking more energy, passion and everything into them. I guess those recipients better get ready for more intensity.
This months adventure was a blessing. One that I am still basking in and thankful for. Showing me what can be. The vibe and connection that is awe inspiring.
The life of Zeus. Full adventure and notoriety.
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