Black or White

I am just that simple. I know people want to say wait there is a grey area. But for me that is pretty much a no man's land.  Of course this contributes to my Capt Caveman ways I am sure for others.

I use to fight with and against others about growing, coming closer and moving forward in relationships. Because relationships are very important to me. In fact their importance has grown to the point where I am extremely picky and protective about them now.

My automatic response to a relationship is be direct and discuss, find out and ask what is going on and all aspects of our interaction.  I have been told that makes me the scary man with the boom drop voice projection that they don't want to open up to.

In the same token I feel that members of a relationship that we either push forward or dissolve.  And that is made on me making a decision and evaluating the cost effectiveness of the relationship at hand.

As it is said: I will lose interest once the other member of the relationship is no longer invested as much as I am in the relationship. And after I express my displeasure with the other person. I merely ex communicate them.

Like currently I have stepped back from once deep relationships because of lack of interest in having a relationship on their part. I have no desire to put forth effort after effort for absolutely nothing at all.

Black or white.
It keeps things simple and organized.
Unfortunately the humans really don't like or understand it much.

oh well!

Here In Svartalfheim

Peering through the mists I see the humans and their existence. Each twirling in smokes screens of their own making.

I feel like the 101st surrounded at Bastogne. The difference is armor is not coming.

Another one of my evaluation and time for action moments.

Thoughts of do you really continue to hold on to those people and things that seem to fight the future and remain an issue?  Life and time have their own twists and turns. Leaving results to deal with.

The older I get. The more that defining line in the sand shortens. Becoming increasingly closer and closer to me. Tolerance constantly deleted. The vale being left a field of corpses.


I turn looking at from where I came. Looking forward to see what may be left. Each moment lived to the fullest while tactically open involvement.

Question in this is:  Will I merely become even more severely detached?

We shall see.
We shall see.

Fake Swingers, BDSM and People

I have run into fraudulent people all my life. But since the cabin trip and beach trip last year I have really seen just how far it will go.

People who spout about how everyone is a family and using the "I love you" phrase are so sickening. I watched as they did that and then were using the same people they said that to. All I am sure with a smile on their face. Such a attrocious act of silliness.

In these lifestyles and life all you have is who and what you are. Your representation. And of course it can be real, unknown or false do to representation and observation. But when your actions show the true you then there really is nothing to be said. And this is where I saw this mess.

If you are going to swing or be in BDSM. Let it be because you want to enjoy a group of like minded people. Not some formed clique and cash cow. Be friendly and accepting. There is so much wrong judgement it is silly. Just because you don't like this or that. You don't agree with something. Doesn't make you the law or barometer to inflict it on others. Unless you are a dictator. Then you can do what you want until your run is over.

Each twisted individual brings about a negative connotation and experience that wasn't necessary if those that caused it just were themselves and didn't need to spread what they thought others should do, enjoy and like upon others. If you are some twisted up switch lesbian, dom or whatever then be that. Just don't try to lead others to join your madness.

As I have sat back. Watched and listened to people. I merely realized that there were more people that I needed to distance and cut off from myself.

So if you want to truly hang out and have fun then DO IT!
If you want people to be close and so called family then Do It and act accordingly!

People need to step up to the plate and do instead of all this talking for nothing at all.  I am just annoyed and tired of this mess. And it is the so called people that are supposed to be close to you that are the biggest culprits.

A Well Needed Good Day Indeed

I had a good day yesterday. And it was refreshing even though I was tired, drained and had no energy.

The sister was going to Myrtle Beach. It was a beautiful day and warm but not too warm.

I headed to the cigar shop. I don't know if it was because it was a bit early or because everyone was out enjoying the day, but there wasn't anyone sitting up there with me relaxing and smoking. But that was alright since Tim the owner and Myra were working. As always laid back with discussion was on deck.  From talk about cigars to general and worldly stuff is always on deck in there. That is why I enjoy going there and smoking. Of course everyone picks at me about smoking my JFR 770 every time I go there. *lol*  It is big and takes about 2 hours for me to smoke. I still was laughing at Myra and Monroe's response to the MtF I guess that came in for tobacco on Friday. They were kind of stuck but kept their composure. lol He was dressed as a female but who knows if they were just cross dressing or had surgery or what. Myra was commenting say that you normally don't see that during the day or outside of downtown.

So I left there and headed to the cuntry. I figured I would stop and see Mr George. My aunt's seconed ex husband.  So he was hone. I hadn't seen him or caught him home in years. So we were outside talking for a long time. I think he was glad to talk to and have a male around since he said he was tire of all the women in the house right now. *lol* His daughters and everything were there at that time.

Off to Auntie's next. I had to go out and see my favorite aunt. Uncle Frank wasn't there. Apparently out with Butch in Auntie's convertible. *lol* I hadn't seen my cousin's son in a long time. He was lanky and taller than those years ago when he was fat and short. But the new baby is short fat and bow legged. Auntie picked at me since the two little white boys kept coming over and hanging on me while I was sitting down. She said, "get away from him. You know he don't like kids." *lol* She had me sample a liquor wine batch that was 3 years old she said. And damn it was good and strong. That right there was the good stuff.  Made me smile and even happier.

I left the country and headed back. I needed to eat and I figured I would stop by the cigar shop again. I was in there laughing with the guys until closing time. Picking at the insurance guy buying a vw beetle for his wife. and talking about vehicles we wanted. of course we talked about having a tank or half track. I want the tank so I can tear up the road and terrorize. lol

A good day of communication, people and good times. Even got in a cup of liquor wine. I was good to go!

And then I had to talk to the parental units when I got back in.

So much for ending a good day well.