Ith the things that I have been able to be positive about lately. There are the things that continue to fuel my rage.
I am done with the parental units. I am unable to suffer anymore because of sense of duty. It is costing me everything.
As I had looked forward to my refuge from the deadly apocalypt storms. Once again ACCESS DENIED.
Fuck I am tired! And definitely couldnt sleep. So here I am at the gym angry with a bad attitude and close to breaking machines and me.
As soon as I eat breakfast I am fixing me a drink or few.
I am sure your day is better than mine. So enjoy your life.
Monday, July 13, 2015
Monstar...Ready For It!!!
Life has always been one filled with battles, trials and tribulations. And either you lead, conquer or get out of the way.
A year ago I truly embarked on this journey. To properly Dominate and lead the way. Attending a conference and getting involved in the community. Plus learning and absorbing information. In person, through conference calls and more growth occurred. I dived into it all. But I took a cautious approach and emphasized learning instead of doing. A bit of a difference for me. But I wanted to do things right and not make a mess of everything.
Since last year I have met some interesting and dynamic people. They have added on to my knowledge in this life in different ways, but beneficial to me. And talks of mentors and classes have shown brightly. And I have and continue to take classes. Finding a mentor is a bit more of a challenge. Because there are differences from each Dom or Master than the others. But I have decided on seeking information and or mentorship from specific ones already. Hell, I have gotten good instructions already. Even the forums have shed light on differences and things. But my path is set. I am merely getting what information and teaching from here and there as I go.
One of the things I realized while dealing with everything recently and through some convo with HQ is that I was trying so hard to do things properly that I missed what I needed to do to make things work smoothly. Learning to observe, learn and apply were keys. But I had to learn recently to stop overthinking and analyzing things. To let my natural Dom return. Instead of what I allowed to happen. To be so concerned about comfort, adjustment and focus while I lost the Dominant aspect all together. The things that I did naturally that made them follow me without thought. That ability to comfortable want to serve and seek commands from me is very key. And in some ways it happens currently. But in the one situation where I was focused on making it happen. It was missing terribly. So, the return to laying down the way and reinforcing it in her will be applied like it should have been from the start. But you live and learn.
I slow walked the relation dynamic and even play. and now I am ready. Chomping at the bit and excited. Prepared to pave the way in unique things. Because honestly when I am involved or HQ. The weirdness is off the charts.
It's Monstar time!!!
And I am more than Ready for the Ready.
A year ago I truly embarked on this journey. To properly Dominate and lead the way. Attending a conference and getting involved in the community. Plus learning and absorbing information. In person, through conference calls and more growth occurred. I dived into it all. But I took a cautious approach and emphasized learning instead of doing. A bit of a difference for me. But I wanted to do things right and not make a mess of everything.
Since last year I have met some interesting and dynamic people. They have added on to my knowledge in this life in different ways, but beneficial to me. And talks of mentors and classes have shown brightly. And I have and continue to take classes. Finding a mentor is a bit more of a challenge. Because there are differences from each Dom or Master than the others. But I have decided on seeking information and or mentorship from specific ones already. Hell, I have gotten good instructions already. Even the forums have shed light on differences and things. But my path is set. I am merely getting what information and teaching from here and there as I go.
One of the things I realized while dealing with everything recently and through some convo with HQ is that I was trying so hard to do things properly that I missed what I needed to do to make things work smoothly. Learning to observe, learn and apply were keys. But I had to learn recently to stop overthinking and analyzing things. To let my natural Dom return. Instead of what I allowed to happen. To be so concerned about comfort, adjustment and focus while I lost the Dominant aspect all together. The things that I did naturally that made them follow me without thought. That ability to comfortable want to serve and seek commands from me is very key. And in some ways it happens currently. But in the one situation where I was focused on making it happen. It was missing terribly. So, the return to laying down the way and reinforcing it in her will be applied like it should have been from the start. But you live and learn.
I slow walked the relation dynamic and even play. and now I am ready. Chomping at the bit and excited. Prepared to pave the way in unique things. Because honestly when I am involved or HQ. The weirdness is off the charts.
It's Monstar time!!!
And I am more than Ready for the Ready.
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