Infamy and Memories

I have done some shooting and kendo early this morning. I needed to manage and get some release. So the fighting and anger fueled energy has been accessed and used. But there is always plenty of that inside of me

Bruce Banner said it best in the first Avengers movie when they told him to get angry. The key is that I am always angry. It is a unlimited fuel inside of me. I just use it and control it now. Unlike when I was young and let it be out of control all the time. I didn't know how to use it and channel it into anything other than destruction back then.

Today is my wife's birthday. And memories are going through me as well as reminders of how the relationship was spectacular. And the comparison with the other relations and attempts that I have attempted falling very short. So there is no crying or anything like that. Just mood, attitude and reality checks. Remembering that expensive celebration at the melting pot that she wanted. 200 to cook our own food. lol If I hadn't been with her I would have continued ignoring my birthday and the celebrating thing.

Things are what they are.

Miss you Chocolate Doll. Love you Superwoman!

Breaking You Into Pieces

Since I cannot remember I have enjoyed destroying and disrupting females. The badder they were and the more everyone wanted them only served my purpose even more.

It is how I had crews of girls with me from high school and on. Hell, I didn't need to fuck them to get them to be attached. Most of my beginning was just listening to them and giving them an outlet.  They latched on to me as if we were so intimate.

But I left those times to influence more along the kines of what I needed and wanted. Even we I didn't try it was happening. Like the case of that fayettenam monkey I was engaged with. She was jealous of the time that I spent with my college classmate. Claimed we were fucking. I had always wanted to fuck her. So I finally did it and fucked her roommate as well. A nice two for one deal. I broke three for the price of one then. Felt so damn good.

I advanced to more intimate means then. By making them feel me and fall in love with me. And those that know me I don't tell anyone I love them unless it is meant.

For example the pink girl in greensboro. Met her at the swinger parties I attended. We started talking and then private fucking. I had her head deep in my sand. She fell in love with me and became my sub/sex slave. She was the recipient of the first protocols I made. And that was before I became as educated in bdsm as I am now. I made her serve me. Every party she couldn't play until I was taken care of. It pissed everyone off because I controlled that. A lot of hate came my way. I took away their must have play thing and made them wait for me. She was broken and lost in me. And that scared her a lot. In the end she couldn't take it and backed off finally.

But hell it has been that way repeatedly. Crazy maryland still talks to and loves me. Even after I cursed her out at least twice and excommunicated her. I conditioned her enough to want me regardless. And hate herself for feeling the love for me. I further broke her already broken self. I merely skewed it my way.

I especially enjoyed when I would have gem begging me to plau and cum as I continue to deny her. Like a little pet or kid. She kept returning and asking. And I would make her wait. Even she had issues with falling for me.

I enjoying breaking their mind and soul. Twisting their heart and mind into what they are fighting. The power makes me smile and grin.

And to that the physical breakdown. The forced orgasms and orgasm control. And especially after the Toronto session with Lil Red I can add a pain factor to it that has the body cringing in anticipation. The applicatiin of biting and sensory torture is wonderful. I am going to be sure to put gem through her paces with this as well.  All I need now are some more instruments of pain to add to it all and I have some stuff in mind. I will make the bodies remember me more and more throigh pleasure and pain. whether it is fucking you for hours. Fisting your pussy. Or beating you long and hard. This addition has led to a new standard for thr broken. Lol munchkin will have to pay the price now in the pain department as well and not just the orgasms.

Breaking the bad bitches.
Making the stone cold melt completely.

I love breaking the females.
Tearing away their position and psyche. So that they are lost in observed retrospect.  Confused on how they got there.

The Light Bulb Is On

I enjoyed Toronto. I finally got a chance to let out some of my sadist. It was an intoxicating experience. I look forward to do it again. But not sure about full capacity though. That probably won't leave anything at all afterwards.

I really need to fuck a whole lot more but the prospects are not that great and I need quality with the quantity. Not just some pussy, mouth and ass to go into. Between the amount of fucking lately and the sadistic release I know I need to fix the problem. To purge regularly. That need to dominate and make them cum.

The episode with Chocolate was unexpected but thankfully needed and appreciated. Combined with the Dizzle episode has helped feed the Beast a bit. Combined with Lil Red it actually was doable. But it is time to make a number of changes to keep things going and make things a lot better.

And the relationship understanding has been thrown to the seas. The waves have crashed and destroyed. And who knows what is still standing. Hell there is so much damaged goods running around I am standing in a minefield. From craziness of not being interested but wanting to do activities that are only reserved for those interested in each other. To episodes of I just can't be open to you because you cursed me out and dropped me.  Relationships have shown to be a clusterfuck with females even more now.

Now, I look forward to the next piece of the puzzle.  And the answers to these impossible questions.

And the gray area research has not been working. That shit holds a whole bunch of fucking crazy.

It's time to overcome, adapt and destroy

The Representative: Orange is the new black

ok so I decided to watch the first series of this show. I am at least 3 or 4 episodes in.

I am wondering is this supposed to be the new female version of that old show Oz?  It definitely seems this way.

Thankfully I am smart enough to understand that this is entertainment and not a real aspect of female prisons.

But I have to say the thick puerto rican chick that is named Dia I think. Is a thick and sexy something. I would fuck her senseless and break her mind more than a few times.


Well, this is as much as me, the Rep is allowed to appear tonight. The Real Deal is in control and busy apparently.

Until the next time. I am the Representative. Giving you those fucked up warm, fuzzy feelings that you seek.


oh and I was wrong. I watched at least 5 episodes.

The Representative: Candyland and Presentation

A new policy went into effect. Everyone gets me, the Representative. Well everyone except the fellow Road Warrior that is. But damn this is exciting and makes everyone feel better.

So summer is coming to an end. Everyone has been traveling and enjoying themselves I am sure. Spending time with kids and those people they wanted to be with. I have been privy to a couple of people's adventures and enjoyments throughout this summer. They definitely have had some memorable times.

children heading back to school. Their parents ready for daily breaks again. And plenty of school activities, sports and everything. They will be exuding those family values. Well continuing them.

Like a slight of hand trick while the obvious is displayed.

Here is your candy. The kinds that you like
Displayed on this silver tray.
Yes, even those turkish delights from inside the wardrobe can be yours today.

From the Representative to you. Enjoy your wonderful day.

Writing, Reading and Critiquing

I have been doing a lot of all three of these in the last few weeks and days alike.

I can tell you this. I miss  my Lil Red's writing right about now. With her carnal, exceptional creative writing and lust inspiring fiction. And she can say I am biased and all that shit. But Fuck That!  I love her damn writing.

I have been critiquing a man's novel. Which is very in depth and interesting. Especially from the Dom's perspective with two submissives and the growth and introduction aspects. It is engaging and has substance. I have been enjoying it.

My muse has been out of damn control over this last month and more. From everything that has happened, though and felt. To just releasing the Kraken about things. I have written no less than about 40 poems. And the journal entries have been going in since there has been so much to delve into and dissect and deal with.

And I am still reading the Control Book by Peter Masters. Because it has been damn good read. It is taking me a while because I am digesting, analyzing and applying to what is going on in life. Then making notes and answering questions that are asked. Very damn good book. If you haven't read it then you should.

Hell, even while I am typing this. I am uploading some freestyle spoken word vids I did a little bit ago and poems I just wrote moments ago on the fly.

And I think I got another one brewing in my head now to speak on what I am dealing with right now.

Well, enjoy yourself. Pick up something to read and occupy your mind.

The new not Fantastic Four movie

I just finished watching this and my eyes are angry with me.

Yes, I am a comic book fan. But in this case I didn't even get to being upset because of the completely different storyline and plot.

The acting sucked! It was hot garbage from the beginning.  I feel sorry for the actors that were in this. But then again they signed on for this.

Yes, they totally destroyed the origin story until there weren't even molecules left. But wait, they didn't just stop there. They gave you a horrid plot and storyline to go with that.

Oh and add thqt they have Dr Doom looking like a buffoon and I have to wonder did they make this to destroy marvel even further?

All I can say is what the fuck was that?

Spoken Eroticism: You Turn Me On

Yeah, I was feeling it and with good reason. Gotta love that Molten Chocolate Thai Stick that is her!!!  And Toronto reminded me exactly why and why it is important to me.

You Turn Me On

Sultry

Sophisticated

Sensually

Sexy

Chocolate curves

That leave

Dick and pussy

Craving

Lips that

Make the mind wonder

Into erotic bliss

At the thoughts of

Their plumpness

A mind

That creates

Molten, erotic funeral pyres

Insatiable fuel

To my fire

Craving

Craving

I need that chocolate fix

Each moment of the day

You have to feel each

Dick salute that is

In honor of your sexy

Lust creating a natural disaster

Slipping inside of you

Repeatedly

While biting your shoulder

Pinching your nipples

Into a hard frenzy

Twisted

Unstoppable motion

As our fucking and sucking

Licks my desire further

Feed me

Damn you

You turn me on

Hard fucking

The sounds of your

Pussy playing notes of

Give me more

I won’t stop

Each stroke and lick

Until we leave our cum

Dripping from the

Walls and ceiling

Damn

You turn me

On

From the chocolatezeus collection  3/1/15  ©

Twoney, Looney and Me Free

Since a lot has gone on. This will be lengthy. So sue me!!!

A little over 24 hours since I have returned to the beach. Finally left the country. Although it wasn't to the best spot imaginable. It was exactly what I needed. Once being a military dependent travelling the world leads you to have that need to travel and see other places like you are use to.

HQ said it best though. It seems like Toronto was just like another US city basically. The people were fine. Nothing negative or positive really to say about them. The train ride was simple. And the cab ride though high speed wasn't as lively as riding in Jamaica that is for sure. lol There were plenty of food choices it seemed from wendy's to Jack Astor's.

Tried Jack Astor's near the convention center. The food was alright. The service was lack luster and the girl did not pay attention to what we ordered and wanted to not be on our plates.  We hit Denny's the first night (yeah I said Denny's since it was close to the hotel. lmao). And I left my impression on the way out of there. Another houston ceremony rendition minus all the ladies help. lmao

I had forgotten how I always looked forward to attending APA conferences when I started at UNCC. Thinking about meeting colleagues and having integral discussions. Being there reminded me of that time a long time ago. The beginning of that transition from idealist to pragmatist. And I felt younger just being there. Looking and taking it all in. The catalog of different presentations was huge. Unfortunately there needs to be a better way to organize this. Or as HQ said it needs to be smaller so that you can get to the presentations that you want to partake in. Still I felt the intrigue of knowledge and excitement flow.

This trip gave me the necessary time and disassociation I needed to balance things out again in life. The break in the middle of Hell to enjoy quality time, think and feel differently, plus simply put some of the armor to the side and relax. The evil side of me still needs some of the non evil stuff to function properly.  And I relieved just how badly this case was. I have to do better to maintain this balance though. It can't get as far gone as I have let it go this year. For the sake and safety of others it has to be better managed.

The Sadist in Me!

Well, this time I let way more out than I had previously. And true I have built up and went slow in the process. But as I told HQ the next time was going to be more of my Dark Side and more of me. And it was that and more.

It was a euphoric, intoxicating rush. I felt happy, excited and ecstatic while I was inflicting pain. Of course I had the scene planned out way ahead of time. But due to things it wasn't carried out that way. So improvisation had to happen. And it flowed like the Beast inside of me. I was uncaged but in control completely. I relished every moment but kept my senses so I could, see, feel and hear if there was something wrong. I watched her body, felt to see how warm the skin was getting. Calculated and paid attention to where my strikes fell and were heading.

I reached further into myself than I had before. And the trip was a discovery of new and old. The new attachment to the feeling while reinforcing just how much of me there is to know.

My mind fed on her pain, the flow of the tears, the twists and twitches of her body. Even the jumps of anticipation to being struck.

So, I opened the door and fed my sadist a meal. It's after effects still thankfully lingering.  And I can't wait for the next time I will get to feed. Until then I will also take into account the things that can and will be done better.


Oh, I did get more sleep than I get here. And I relaxed while I was there which is almost non existing here. So I have been able to still be relaxed and productive today because of that.

Through all that walking and airport adventure on the way back. The trip was great because of the things that mattered.

And don't worry the Representative will be back to you shortly.

*evil Darth Vader laughter*

Toronto to CONUS

As I sit here at pearson airport and reflect. I needed this. To let mind and soul be at peace and deal with everything.

Toronto wasn't the grden spot but I definitely have some memories to keep from this trip.

Letting all the full power me is rather scary apparently. It was intoxicating and fed me into a wonderful frenzy. Delivery of pain that I have held in and never thought I would let out. Now I have that taste and that experience. The taste still maked me salivate right now.

Customs here was something else leaving today. It took forever to get through it. And all the damn walking is senseless. This is not a commuter friendly airport.

Oh and what in the hell. They have maple crown royal. Lol

I better eat something I think. Lol

Don't worry the Representative will return in a few hours to placate and make people happy.

Till then I will see you in the skies