I was asked hiw I felt about poly and doing it.
I have been poly and I am not against it. It works well when you have females that can handle it. Most people are not ready or able to handle it though. And it requires management, attention to detail and focus.
I have done poly because I was doing the build a bitch program at first. That moved on to actual poly situation. Integral relations of mutual intimacy and caring. It has since then transcended. And it is a viable option to the problem.
What is the probkem you ask?
Well, it is basically it is impossible to find the woman that can fulfill my needs. It was one of the reasons that I wanted and applied poly in the first place. It helped the females be able to deal with and handle being with me without being overwhelmed.
Now the other side to that is that I want monogamy. The ideal me is with a woman that can be all that I need and want. Now I still believe there is hope since I was married to a woman that came close to all of that. And because of that right now is why I have dated lik red. Realistically I am not going to find it all in one woman nut I can get as close as possibke so I can be happy and ecstatic.
So yes there is this poly situation for me. Where I give them each what they need and desire. But I still need that one woman that can be the closest to what I need. That ine that is mine and provides the most of everything that I need.
So to poly I say cool. It is a learning experience and an adventure.
But I need to be happu regardless no matter poly or monogamous. Just give me what I want and need.
But monogamy ks still an integral oart for me.
Saturday, January 23, 2016
Friday, January 22, 2016
This...My Open Letter
Yeah, yeah, yeah I have been thinking again. It is my nature. And you secretly love it anyway.
*cuing up my theme song "Beast Mode!"
Simply put, this is about Mr Wolf and lil red.
Amid the collective weirdness and the internal and external obstacles there lies this undeniable coronation. Like a gathering of the looney tunes at Timelord court.
Combined connection and sight beyond sight (thundercats...hoooo!) Laid upon my lap this opportunity at destiny. After the initial fight internally with the reality of feeling this elite connection I stopped denying it. At that mkment I saw past the intelligence, in trepidation and manicured defenses. Decision was made and I gathered up all of me for the undertaking.
From that first admission, I meant what I said. I saw the destination of Mr Wolf and lil red even before those names were chosen. I wanted you as wife, my submissive and in my life. *didn't I blow your mind?*
Mentally we have been like Mr and Mrs Smith. At times Clash of the Titans. Logical versus illogical and everything in between. But that is just seasoning and learning through growth. And the journey has been eye opening from dating to D/s and even the vanilla things. As weird and difficult as you are. I love your mental capacity and ability. The intelligence that makes me think and allows for communication and understanding on things that wouldn't happen mostly.
Thanks to lil red I have had some eye opening experiences, gained an ounce of interest again in relations and actually worked on being healthy. And that going to the gym thing and eating better was a huge fucking milestone! Never have I chosen to do that before. But that was based on my decision on the future that I wanted with lil red. And that future required strengthening, conditioning and adapting in new ways.
Laying it out on the cave floor (I am still a Caveman)
I more than love you. I fell in love with you. I don't have an issue with that or revealing it. It doesn't change what I want, need and require.
My lil red needs to be my submissive wife with the outstanding characteristics that she has now and I enjoy about her. That dynamic that moves forward through the waves of time. Where we continue to grow and have adventures together.
And with that said. I do understand the ramifications of reality and all that it entails. There are no pipe dreams or fairy tale episodes here. Merely choice, decision and goal to achieve.
The only thing left is...
Destiny
*cuing up my theme song "Beast Mode!"
Simply put, this is about Mr Wolf and lil red.
Amid the collective weirdness and the internal and external obstacles there lies this undeniable coronation. Like a gathering of the looney tunes at Timelord court.
Combined connection and sight beyond sight (thundercats...hoooo!) Laid upon my lap this opportunity at destiny. After the initial fight internally with the reality of feeling this elite connection I stopped denying it. At that mkment I saw past the intelligence, in trepidation and manicured defenses. Decision was made and I gathered up all of me for the undertaking.
From that first admission, I meant what I said. I saw the destination of Mr Wolf and lil red even before those names were chosen. I wanted you as wife, my submissive and in my life. *didn't I blow your mind?*
Mentally we have been like Mr and Mrs Smith. At times Clash of the Titans. Logical versus illogical and everything in between. But that is just seasoning and learning through growth. And the journey has been eye opening from dating to D/s and even the vanilla things. As weird and difficult as you are. I love your mental capacity and ability. The intelligence that makes me think and allows for communication and understanding on things that wouldn't happen mostly.
Thanks to lil red I have had some eye opening experiences, gained an ounce of interest again in relations and actually worked on being healthy. And that going to the gym thing and eating better was a huge fucking milestone! Never have I chosen to do that before. But that was based on my decision on the future that I wanted with lil red. And that future required strengthening, conditioning and adapting in new ways.
Laying it out on the cave floor (I am still a Caveman)
I more than love you. I fell in love with you. I don't have an issue with that or revealing it. It doesn't change what I want, need and require.
My lil red needs to be my submissive wife with the outstanding characteristics that she has now and I enjoy about her. That dynamic that moves forward through the waves of time. Where we continue to grow and have adventures together.
And with that said. I do understand the ramifications of reality and all that it entails. There are no pipe dreams or fairy tale episodes here. Merely choice, decision and goal to achieve.
The only thing left is...
Destiny
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Spoken Dynamic: My Bouquet Arrangement
Expression of D/s. the journey, connection and essence.
My Bouquet Arrangement
Looking upon you
I see you fully
Past, present and
future
Prepared
Ready and open
As planning
Comes to fruition
Cupping you within
myself
Delving into the
Hidden and obvious
Reveled beauty
Your longing to
Be shaped and molded
Submit to me
Clipped ends
Manicured evidence
Prepared with future
presence
I hold reverence
Upon my altar
Transfixed and
transformed
You are my
masterpiece
Submitted
Submission
Given unto me
So I may create this
rare beauty
Lasting effect of
eternity
Dynamic
Dedication
Unveiled for all to
Witness
You
My gift
Flower petals
Now fully open
Displaying openly
Your submission
My gift and
deliverance
Presented
Revered
Revealed
From the
chocolatezeus collection 1/21/16 ©
Poetic Inspiration: Milk Chocolate Emulsions
Thanks to lil red providing much needed stimuli tonight. Me and my muse had a chance to go to that happy place where marathon fucking and sucking combine with ultra sadistic needs. And you end up with Me and my Fix way, way out of control.
At this rate I am going to need them to build an Arkham assylum just for me!
At this rate I am going to need them to build an Arkham assylum just for me!
Milk Chocolate
Emulsions
Visually captivating
Auditory
encapsulation
Surreal stimulated
Intoxication
As I watch
Captured full lips
Wrapped so prominent
Around my needed
Insertion
Feel of velvet
Coating me with
Molten, creamy deliciousness
Moist
Calling
Ready to give me
Every drop and
quaking
Convulsion
My eyes
Watch the formation
The icing on the
ultimate cake
That creamy sensation
Coating and growing
With every
penetration
Full lips grip
As the clit swells
with
Pleasure prejudice
Your lips opened
petals of
Carnal carnivorous
intent
I feed
Strokes delve deep
I long to make every
one of your orgasms
Rip through every
nerve in your body
Stroke after stroke
I hear the creamy
gripping
As I churn more cream
Call for you to give
me everything
Chocolate lips
glistening
Invasion of chocolate
dripping with your cream
The sounds of
stroking
Permeates lust to it’s
core
It wet gripping sound
Drives home deeper
and stronger
Mixed with moaning
And oh fuck
Sayings
The rhythm breaking
the internal walls
Thump, thump,
thumping
Floods breaking
Swollen clit
Rubbed and stroked
That is it
Your inability to
control
Broken
Destroyed
All I say is
Give it to me slut
As your world breaks
And my lustful vengeance
begins
My orchestrated
evidence
To lustful reverence
As I enjoy every
application of the senses
Through your
chocolate
Dipped
Creamy
Emulsificated
Penance to me
From the chocolatezeus
collection 1/21/16 ©
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
Overthinking and Do or Do Not...There is no try
Lengthy but educational...here we go
I am guilty of overthinking constantly. Yeah, I know it is not a revelation for the few that actually know me. But it is an admission.
I think because it is my nature. The things that I want, need and are important to me I make a full assault effort towards achieving and keeping them. Now, I have been shown how scary and offensive that is to the humans. Basically, it is not the norm. Then I am not the norm by far anyway.
I never thought that it was wrong or hard to desire, act and continue to achieve the things that you want and need. And that is not just about jobs, houses and money. But also about relations, desires and dynamics.
The connection is the pinnacle of importance for me. Without it there is no relation at all. Nothing to holds anything together. There is the connection that I hate and hate to admit when it has happened twice in my life so far. It is the one where I know that the person is the right person for me even though nothing obviously backs that up. it is the one that I got married over and therefore I hold as simple facts and evidence. So when it happened in 2014 my first response was FUCK YOU BITCH! I thought it was just some false sense of hope in a world that is a "whatever" mentality. But I realized that it was another self evident truth of me seeing the treasure through all the fort knox shit that was in front of it.
So...
In talking with Ru about our situations we discussed how we hear the words people say about their feelings, wants and desires but watch as their actions show none of those things. Making the words hold absolutely no meaning at all. Once again continuing to vow to never allow that to manifest itself.
My relationships have always worked out with them showing their desire, want and need for me and us. That mental connection where we are locked into the relation together in our roles. Moving forward into the unknown. So when this didn't happen as it always had I didn't know what to make of it at first. I realize that everyone doesn't think, see or feel the same. But if there is the connection there then it should be a natural progression? Shouldn't it? After the slap to the face i had to put some more effort in, only to realize that effort wasn't going to change anything. I had to let it go completely. I hear that old addage "if it was meant to be then let it go and it will come back."
So here I am with an anomoly Spock! What the fuck do I do now?
Let's get the simple stuff out of the way.
I do not run around expressing desire, wants, connection with just anyone. As I am picky as hell it is actually a rarity that it happens at all. If I care it is more than you are a decent human and we can talk. It is the level of you are vetted enough to enter the outer circle of those I interact with. How many circles are there you ask? Hmm, let's see:
The inner sanctum
The elite
Down with the team
and the Your in the door
levels
The levels denote the level of intimacy and personalization that you are cleared for. Inner sanctum of course is the ultimate level and is where there is complete trust, acceptance and understanding.
The application when it comes to D/s and human relations:
Human nature
Through analysis and observation I have become decent with this. It is how I have connected with people on a level that they weren't expecting or open to at times. That being able to discuss, listen to and support the things that are part of who they are. Maybe this is from that first class with Dr Fisher in Frankfurt or my love of psychology. But hey!
Be the best I can
That afore mentioned aspect of working hard towards needs, wants and goals applies here. I have been reading, interacting, enjoyed Black Beat and want to attend more educationals, plus have gotten involved in the community. All so I can keep growing and learning.
Learn from the best
As much as I would like a mentor to help me. I haven't been able to find one yet. A combination of location and availability and all are all obvious issues. But I do listen to the well experienced Masters and Dominants on conference calls and events. I am not anti humble to think I know everything or am a master of it all. So yes miss, I am looking for mentors.
Perserverance
This isn't a plug and play situation. I stepped in knowing that it will take time, effort and everything to accomplish and do it well. Regardless of the struggle, issues and difficulties I am sticking this out and moving on regardless of what others think, feel or whatever else is going on. This is what I want to do and will continue to do unless I choose otherwise.
Damn, I am not perfect?
lol, I am not perfect. And I have definitely made mistakes. Some huge and very regrettable mistakes. Especially last year. But, I accept them, learn and do not make the same mistake again. I take responsibility for what I have done. I do not have a crystal ball to make sure everything runs perfectly.
ok, the door has been opened.
I am guilty of overthinking constantly. Yeah, I know it is not a revelation for the few that actually know me. But it is an admission.
I think because it is my nature. The things that I want, need and are important to me I make a full assault effort towards achieving and keeping them. Now, I have been shown how scary and offensive that is to the humans. Basically, it is not the norm. Then I am not the norm by far anyway.
I never thought that it was wrong or hard to desire, act and continue to achieve the things that you want and need. And that is not just about jobs, houses and money. But also about relations, desires and dynamics.
The connection is the pinnacle of importance for me. Without it there is no relation at all. Nothing to holds anything together. There is the connection that I hate and hate to admit when it has happened twice in my life so far. It is the one where I know that the person is the right person for me even though nothing obviously backs that up. it is the one that I got married over and therefore I hold as simple facts and evidence. So when it happened in 2014 my first response was FUCK YOU BITCH! I thought it was just some false sense of hope in a world that is a "whatever" mentality. But I realized that it was another self evident truth of me seeing the treasure through all the fort knox shit that was in front of it.
So...
In talking with Ru about our situations we discussed how we hear the words people say about their feelings, wants and desires but watch as their actions show none of those things. Making the words hold absolutely no meaning at all. Once again continuing to vow to never allow that to manifest itself.
My relationships have always worked out with them showing their desire, want and need for me and us. That mental connection where we are locked into the relation together in our roles. Moving forward into the unknown. So when this didn't happen as it always had I didn't know what to make of it at first. I realize that everyone doesn't think, see or feel the same. But if there is the connection there then it should be a natural progression? Shouldn't it? After the slap to the face i had to put some more effort in, only to realize that effort wasn't going to change anything. I had to let it go completely. I hear that old addage "if it was meant to be then let it go and it will come back."
So here I am with an anomoly Spock! What the fuck do I do now?
Let's get the simple stuff out of the way.
I do not run around expressing desire, wants, connection with just anyone. As I am picky as hell it is actually a rarity that it happens at all. If I care it is more than you are a decent human and we can talk. It is the level of you are vetted enough to enter the outer circle of those I interact with. How many circles are there you ask? Hmm, let's see:
The inner sanctum
The elite
Down with the team
and the Your in the door
levels
The levels denote the level of intimacy and personalization that you are cleared for. Inner sanctum of course is the ultimate level and is where there is complete trust, acceptance and understanding.
The application when it comes to D/s and human relations:
Human nature
Through analysis and observation I have become decent with this. It is how I have connected with people on a level that they weren't expecting or open to at times. That being able to discuss, listen to and support the things that are part of who they are. Maybe this is from that first class with Dr Fisher in Frankfurt or my love of psychology. But hey!
Be the best I can
That afore mentioned aspect of working hard towards needs, wants and goals applies here. I have been reading, interacting, enjoyed Black Beat and want to attend more educationals, plus have gotten involved in the community. All so I can keep growing and learning.
Learn from the best
As much as I would like a mentor to help me. I haven't been able to find one yet. A combination of location and availability and all are all obvious issues. But I do listen to the well experienced Masters and Dominants on conference calls and events. I am not anti humble to think I know everything or am a master of it all. So yes miss, I am looking for mentors.
Perserverance
This isn't a plug and play situation. I stepped in knowing that it will take time, effort and everything to accomplish and do it well. Regardless of the struggle, issues and difficulties I am sticking this out and moving on regardless of what others think, feel or whatever else is going on. This is what I want to do and will continue to do unless I choose otherwise.
Damn, I am not perfect?
lol, I am not perfect. And I have definitely made mistakes. Some huge and very regrettable mistakes. Especially last year. But, I accept them, learn and do not make the same mistake again. I take responsibility for what I have done. I do not have a crystal ball to make sure everything runs perfectly.
ok, the door has been opened.
Didn't I blow your mind this time? Didn't I?
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
Do You Have a Clue How Many of You are in your Head?
Between real life episodes like the mentally super unhinged that come into the cigar shop. To reading stuff on Fet. Dammit man!
Mental health really needs to be addressed and handled like right now.
Tonight's once again obvious addition. Along with individuals like scotty and steve agneli really make the need for mental stability to be put in high demand and priority.
Just going to smh
humans
My Soundtrack of life tonight is....Judgement Night
To be fair I listened to quite a bit today. I had Gorillaz "Clint Eastwood," and Jedi Mind Trick "Ucommon Valor" on repeat most of the day when I didn't have classical, heavy metal and my Eminem going.
If you don't know or remember the movie Judgement Night that is ok. I don't either but I love the soundtrack. A mix of metal artists and rap. I keep this in rotation.
Judgement Night also exemplifies what is going on lately.
When last year concluded I made plenty of judgements, adjustments and applications. As I have come to see lately a number of them have not been recognized but that is life. Maybe a deeper application of the Watcher is needed.
From the shocking convo with Ru, stating that she can see me differently because we are Road Warriors. But in dating all these rules and conformity issues apply. No!! I wasn't expecting her to be like females. I am still devastated about it. But she is the one and only that will be completely real all the time.
Being a Dominant I want lil red to be that kitten purring as I stroke her. To see the look of interest, joy, pleasure and attentiveness upon her face. Those deepened things that make a true D/s relation.
I made the mistake in focusing on making an effort and continuing to do so for too long. Instead of just chunking a deuce and letting it ride into whatever the fuck it will or won't be. But I learned that lesson last year and applied the programming patch.
Anyway. Judgement Night is relevant because the differing sides and applications to and of me. I am loving and caring. I am also cold and apathetic. The reasons why there are the fear of the aftermath of failed relations. Because I am not friends with them. There are one I think I might be able to hold a convo with. But then again I see no reason to maintain an intimacy that is dead when the relation ended. But that is a human thing. Go figure.
Hell, even the fact that I have build a bears and regular stuffed animals that have been given to me in the same room with guns, axe and swords. lol
The angry, mean, grumpy black man writes and reads poetry.
So I am contridictions at all times. lil red and others can reference that. lol
I need that lil red fix worst than I thought. My sadist and ultimate horniness almost had me want to choke sexy ass Myra yesterday when I massage her shoulders.
I think I need to go and do some fighting to deal with this stuff.
I am sure I will have more stuff for you to be bewildered, laugh and shake your head at later. I think I might need to eat some lunch now.
If you don't know or remember the movie Judgement Night that is ok. I don't either but I love the soundtrack. A mix of metal artists and rap. I keep this in rotation.
Judgement Night also exemplifies what is going on lately.
When last year concluded I made plenty of judgements, adjustments and applications. As I have come to see lately a number of them have not been recognized but that is life. Maybe a deeper application of the Watcher is needed.
From the shocking convo with Ru, stating that she can see me differently because we are Road Warriors. But in dating all these rules and conformity issues apply. No!! I wasn't expecting her to be like females. I am still devastated about it. But she is the one and only that will be completely real all the time.
Being a Dominant I want lil red to be that kitten purring as I stroke her. To see the look of interest, joy, pleasure and attentiveness upon her face. Those deepened things that make a true D/s relation.
I made the mistake in focusing on making an effort and continuing to do so for too long. Instead of just chunking a deuce and letting it ride into whatever the fuck it will or won't be. But I learned that lesson last year and applied the programming patch.
Anyway. Judgement Night is relevant because the differing sides and applications to and of me. I am loving and caring. I am also cold and apathetic. The reasons why there are the fear of the aftermath of failed relations. Because I am not friends with them. There are one I think I might be able to hold a convo with. But then again I see no reason to maintain an intimacy that is dead when the relation ended. But that is a human thing. Go figure.
Hell, even the fact that I have build a bears and regular stuffed animals that have been given to me in the same room with guns, axe and swords. lol
The angry, mean, grumpy black man writes and reads poetry.
So I am contridictions at all times. lil red and others can reference that. lol
I need that lil red fix worst than I thought. My sadist and ultimate horniness almost had me want to choke sexy ass Myra yesterday when I massage her shoulders.
I think I need to go and do some fighting to deal with this stuff.
I am sure I will have more stuff for you to be bewildered, laugh and shake your head at later. I think I might need to eat some lunch now.
Poetic Evidence: The Death of Thought and Feeling
The Death of Thought and Feeling
I hold sunshine in
this bag
Walking between
torrential down pours
I stand guard over
My inner sanctum
On lockdown
Is where things stand
While a memorial
service is
Held at 10
Thoughts and emotions
Ensconced
Entombed
Without reverence
Casualties
Assassinated purposely
Unrelented aftermath
of living
Well the anticlimax
of
The outside world’s
doing
Laughter rings
As the flat line
beeps
Among this flat lined
Affect
Last rites
May these thoughts
and feelings
Rest well in
Hell
From the
chocolatezeus collection 1/19/16 ©
Spoken Word: Effect of Timing
Effect of Timing
It seems that
I always arrive after
After some
devastating
Aftermath
She has endured
Where I am seen as
A liability
Another edition
Of whatever has
happened
Previously
Broken and
dismembered
I look past those
things
Exactly silly optimistic
me
But I have always
been able to
Spot the treasure
behind
The wizard of Oz
curtain
I use to be the cleanup
man
Taking care of them
After their traumatic
Remnants
Now I perform surgery
For my very own
Edification and self-gratification
Leaving there on the
table
The absolute of
No expectations
No future of joined
creation
Only the moment
remains
Whether fleeting
Or a semi long term
thing
I am the prisoner
On call physician
And recipient of
Their obvious
Oblivious
Timing
From the
chocolatezeus collection 1/19/16 ©
Spoken Dynamic: To Lead
To Lead
Come be mine
As you are here with
me
Open fully
Knowing that your
delicacy
I hold securely
Serve
To serve me requires
You to understand
that I am me
My needs
To keep yourself
appropriately
Envision
As our quest moves
forward
Toward unknown
As we grow
Solid is where we
remain
As you watch out for
The things I may miss
and see
Or remind me as I am
Just being stubborn
me
Let the rhythm flow
That
Lust
Desire
Need
Through
Undeniable actions
Apparent deeds
Fully knowing
Understanding
Open to
This dynamic
direction
In real time
Living
Steadfast
Securely
With intent and
purpose
I am dedicated to
Our
Destiny
From
the chocolatezeus collection 1/19/16 ©
Monday, January 18, 2016
Give Me That Chocolate and Cream Fix I Need...Now Dammit!!!
It has been long as hell since I have had a chance to have my fix with lil red. And it is well over due. The horniness is real and completely out of control. I hear the "why don't you get some pussy then?" Well, I really don't work that way.
See I need quality, not quantity. And the fix more than marathon sex. Because lil red is one of the few that can run that race with me and survive. And that turns me on to keep fucking her and keeping her cumming and squirting on my dick. The string of orgasms keep me in my high. The more I create, the more energy flows.
But it is not just the fucking. It is the sadist in me that is ready to release even more than I was able to in Toronto and Indy the last two times a year ago. I am so ready to hurt her in so many delicious ways. Plus I want to put her in some predicament ties so I can abuse and use her fully!
Something about her little chocolate self with that great naked body available and my playground that feeds the evil in me. And it calms me. Makes me much happier and keeps the world safe for another day.
I need a good week to fuck and use her at least. That would make up for this long as time since I have gotten my fix.
When I look down at my dick and see her coating it as her pussy lips are wrapped around it. Or using big brown to make her scoot across the bed as I invade her like the Defenders.
And I cant' wait to get her in this so I can do all the wonderful things my mind has already in store *grin*
Where the hell are you at?
Gimme my shit!!!
See I need quality, not quantity. And the fix more than marathon sex. Because lil red is one of the few that can run that race with me and survive. And that turns me on to keep fucking her and keeping her cumming and squirting on my dick. The string of orgasms keep me in my high. The more I create, the more energy flows.
But it is not just the fucking. It is the sadist in me that is ready to release even more than I was able to in Toronto and Indy the last two times a year ago. I am so ready to hurt her in so many delicious ways. Plus I want to put her in some predicament ties so I can abuse and use her fully!
Something about her little chocolate self with that great naked body available and my playground that feeds the evil in me. And it calms me. Makes me much happier and keeps the world safe for another day.
I need a good week to fuck and use her at least. That would make up for this long as time since I have gotten my fix.
When I look down at my dick and see her coating it as her pussy lips are wrapped around it. Or using big brown to make her scoot across the bed as I invade her like the Defenders.
And I cant' wait to get her in this so I can do all the wonderful things my mind has already in store *grin*
Where the hell are you at?
Gimme my shit!!!
The Rundown
After a nice conversation I decided to write and expound.
My interest in BDSM began a while back through trips to dungeons and events with play before I even decided I had an interest. It definitely was different from the swinging world. But the turning point was the episode in houston that turned me on as I was doing it and in hindsight being with my wife. Those things showed me my excitement, interest and desire in this lifestyle.
Understanding me:
I am simply myself. I rarely fit nicely into anyone else's experience, outlook or generalization I believe and my actions honor being uniquely myself. I am the one who coined the phrase "monkey bitches" and use it when it applies. I am antisocial and very introverted. I am happily a nerd with an affinity for different things and experiences. I enjoy talking about things of interest and learning. And I can't get enough sex (when I actually can get it) and my sex drive seems to be getting worst. Even with my antisocial core I love and can be in love deeply and fully. I just don't allow those things to happen freely because they have ultra importance to me.
So I have always been with and sought females that stood out uniquely and were themselves openly. Submissive, intelligent, witty, open minded and sexually compatible.
Learning and Application
I have been doing the damn thing since I fully chose to be in this lifestyle. Just being around people and interacting as well as classes and meetings have helped shape and develop some things. Along with that I have had to tailor make things to apply to me and my relation.
I am the new Dom. With much to learn and much to do. lil red has more experience than me and thankfully there is something there that holds our relationship together. Trial and error can be a negative impact for someone that has experience.
Through this last year especially, I have seen how different needs, wants, communication and applications can be. Especially when you have someone that is completely different than everything else. And I admit my mistakes and miscommunications.
The Journey
I look past the surface. The walls of defense and combative episodes to evaluate what is underneath. I see you and where we can grow and go to be. Where you submit to me openly and know that I will make sure to keep you from harms way and hold you here with me.
Mentally: You hold me within your thoughts constantly. Knowing and feeling the connection that is our dynamic. Where you want to please and serve me. As I do my best to take care of you in all your pleasures, future and destiny.
Physically: Your body is my playground. To enjoy and serve me through all forms of stimulus.
The Keys
My interest in BDSM began a while back through trips to dungeons and events with play before I even decided I had an interest. It definitely was different from the swinging world. But the turning point was the episode in houston that turned me on as I was doing it and in hindsight being with my wife. Those things showed me my excitement, interest and desire in this lifestyle.
Understanding me:
I am simply myself. I rarely fit nicely into anyone else's experience, outlook or generalization I believe and my actions honor being uniquely myself. I am the one who coined the phrase "monkey bitches" and use it when it applies. I am antisocial and very introverted. I am happily a nerd with an affinity for different things and experiences. I enjoy talking about things of interest and learning. And I can't get enough sex (when I actually can get it) and my sex drive seems to be getting worst. Even with my antisocial core I love and can be in love deeply and fully. I just don't allow those things to happen freely because they have ultra importance to me.
So I have always been with and sought females that stood out uniquely and were themselves openly. Submissive, intelligent, witty, open minded and sexually compatible.
Learning and Application
I have been doing the damn thing since I fully chose to be in this lifestyle. Just being around people and interacting as well as classes and meetings have helped shape and develop some things. Along with that I have had to tailor make things to apply to me and my relation.
I am the new Dom. With much to learn and much to do. lil red has more experience than me and thankfully there is something there that holds our relationship together. Trial and error can be a negative impact for someone that has experience.
Through this last year especially, I have seen how different needs, wants, communication and applications can be. Especially when you have someone that is completely different than everything else. And I admit my mistakes and miscommunications.
The Journey
I look past the surface. The walls of defense and combative episodes to evaluate what is underneath. I see you and where we can grow and go to be. Where you submit to me openly and know that I will make sure to keep you from harms way and hold you here with me.
Mentally: You hold me within your thoughts constantly. Knowing and feeling the connection that is our dynamic. Where you want to please and serve me. As I do my best to take care of you in all your pleasures, future and destiny.
Physically: Your body is my playground. To enjoy and serve me through all forms of stimulus.
The Keys
- the connection
- communication
- desire
- dedication
Conclusion
Not simply through words, but backed up with actions is where the dynamic finds it's foundation and continued existence. Where you put forth effort to make it work and make it better constantly. Because when your effort is lacking then obviously that is not where you want to be.
Who would have thought I would be doing this or been in a relation this long? Yeah, insert rawkus laughter here at the truth!
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