Within relations, whether vanilla or D/s there are so many differences and nuiances.
I have experienced quite a bit and seen even more. And considering my interests in females that I pick, associate with and have some form of relation with it is rather super abstract in reference to the norm.
Ru and I were talking about my choices the other night because I had expressed to her my concern and bewilderment at how things are with lil red, little one and flower child. And in our usual fashion it was a smash mouth discussion with our very own dramatic, life unscripted flair.
So have I learned from my past encounters? Has the past allowed me to make better decisions and adaptations? And what has the current result been?
There are both positives and negatives to my attraction to females that are unique, weird and stand out. The things that make them unique are also the things that can be the hardest to deal with and understand.
Even in the convo with lil red early this year or the end of last year I realized even more similarities in who I was attracted to and allowed to be closer in my world. And those things went beyond my need for them to be attractive with curves that I can enjoy visually and physically. There has to be some form of intelligence, common deep rooted interest, open mindedness and actual desire to want things that I want as well. And those things are always on a sliding scale.
People think that because of the past that you have to compare every new person to what happened in the past and if something happens that seems similar then it is. I don't do that. I literally allow you to write your own story with me and I listen to your past and see who and what you are currently. I do not discount or ignore the past but I don't hold it like a guillotine over your head either.
Honesty time:
A year of dating lil red has had it's ups and downs. Things that didn't feel or seem right. Visions of disinterest and complacency. I finally had to look at the bigger picture without applying who and what I am in the equation. That I can't be Mr Fix It anymore or create miracles. There had to be interest, actions and continued effort on all parties for anything to be.
Through interactions with little one and flower child I saw other aspects that I had missed as well. Understanding more that the gap in communication and application was bigger and more explicit than I had previously thought it to be.
So I opened my eyes to see and apply:
You can't make someone understand, accept or be anything more than they are willing.
Making all the effort you can possibly only means that you are in motion. Things may not change outside of that.
Believe in the cost analysis assessment that you do with honesty. it rarely changes.
They have the opportunity for unlimited choices. They may not line up with anything of yours at all.
So...
I continue being open minded. I will say what I want and need and leave it there to be digested. Allow them to choose their destiny. When it is time then I will show and express the destination, what and how things need to be.
Just because I remain concerned and caring. And even giving love and in love with you doesn't mean that I do not lead with decisive, dictated needs. But a desire and groundwork have to be established to even proceed.
My answer:
Yes, I learned and have applied things decently. Took a bit to get over my desire and need to make things work and move forward at a progressive speed. My mission statement has been given fully and with purposeful intent. All I need is for you to be ready and wanting to take the journey. Then I will give you what you need and we will have what we need.
And I am still learning. Continuing to observe, notate and adjust things. The beginning of this year has been the pioneering recipe for what the future will be.
As Ru said we will see. We will see!
Saturday, January 16, 2016
Friday, January 15, 2016
Compartmentalization in a Relation Application
You are just overbearing. Just chill out and let things happen.
You don't seem interested because you seem mean and angry all the time from what you say.
You should treat everyone nice and loving.
I had to think about and set the compartmentalization parameters that were required. Tailor made applications tempered and cured in the hottest of hell's fires. With lil red, little one and the flower child it has been interesting to say the least.
I am not for sure what to say to lil red. The other two are their own applicable applications.
Observation, application and realization have been put into full effect. Solutions plotted and implemented.
When there is such an issue with being straight forward, yourself and only yourself the issues can flourish rather well. Honesty, individuality and life have gone the way of the dinosaurs it seems
As the Road Warriors this discussed this morning. Time waits for nobody. Make moves or stay on the side line.
You don't seem interested because you seem mean and angry all the time from what you say.
You should treat everyone nice and loving.
I had to think about and set the compartmentalization parameters that were required. Tailor made applications tempered and cured in the hottest of hell's fires. With lil red, little one and the flower child it has been interesting to say the least.
I am not for sure what to say to lil red. The other two are their own applicable applications.
Observation, application and realization have been put into full effect. Solutions plotted and implemented.
When there is such an issue with being straight forward, yourself and only yourself the issues can flourish rather well. Honesty, individuality and life have gone the way of the dinosaurs it seems
As the Road Warriors this discussed this morning. Time waits for nobody. Make moves or stay on the side line.
The Forever PSA
If you say the words but your actions don't back anything up or show that you have an interest and you have invested anything into it then your words mean nothing.
If you aren't making an effort then don't expect me to give you anymore than you are showing!
If you aren't making an effort then don't expect me to give you anymore than you are showing!
Sunday, January 10, 2016
2016: All Hail the Titan!!
2015 ended with a quiet smoke. No one shared the entrance into the new year with me. I stood outside and smoked a Lunatic to bring in the new year in light drizzling rain. Watching the neighbors fire works down the street.
I stood there and reflected and dealt with everything. Last year was filled with many things. Many teachings, experiences and revelations.
My anger has reached a new level. Still under control but levels that I am dealing are way above what I use to handle. The parental units have gotten a whole lot worst in their activities and the issues that they are creating.
it is weird to look and see that I have been in a relationship with lil red over a year. Definitely not how I had things planned or the way things go normally. But in dealing with her I realized just how deep the labyrinth was and that my desire was only my own.
Unintended, I ended up in a poly situation. And i am fine with it. it is not like the poly relationships I had previously. It doesn't have those feelings flowing. It is based on D/s but it is a cobbled together situation of my poly and theirs. The other two have shown me some things that have helped me deal with lil red. But the combination of it all is like the proper use and placement of the flying guillotine.
in all honesty. i just wanted the full relation and D/s with lil red. Then reality set in. And the Mandalorian in me adjusted accordingly. Leaving behind ideologies and things that I sought for what actions are made and shown to me.
of course the year had to have more coronations of monkey bitches. as the sanford monkey bitch ended up joining her new best friend the red springs monkey bitch in the land of ultimate stupidity. Thus, proving that association with monkey bitches only leads you to become one.
Once again into the breach!
The year has begun without any expectations or things to look forward to. Merely the things that are important to me and accomplishing them for myself.
matter of fact
The next chapters in Life Unscripted have already made their mark and not even a month into the new year yet.
Make the most of your year. If it is important to you then make it happen!
Happy New year
I stood there and reflected and dealt with everything. Last year was filled with many things. Many teachings, experiences and revelations.
My anger has reached a new level. Still under control but levels that I am dealing are way above what I use to handle. The parental units have gotten a whole lot worst in their activities and the issues that they are creating.
it is weird to look and see that I have been in a relationship with lil red over a year. Definitely not how I had things planned or the way things go normally. But in dealing with her I realized just how deep the labyrinth was and that my desire was only my own.
Unintended, I ended up in a poly situation. And i am fine with it. it is not like the poly relationships I had previously. It doesn't have those feelings flowing. It is based on D/s but it is a cobbled together situation of my poly and theirs. The other two have shown me some things that have helped me deal with lil red. But the combination of it all is like the proper use and placement of the flying guillotine.
in all honesty. i just wanted the full relation and D/s with lil red. Then reality set in. And the Mandalorian in me adjusted accordingly. Leaving behind ideologies and things that I sought for what actions are made and shown to me.
of course the year had to have more coronations of monkey bitches. as the sanford monkey bitch ended up joining her new best friend the red springs monkey bitch in the land of ultimate stupidity. Thus, proving that association with monkey bitches only leads you to become one.
Once again into the breach!
The year has begun without any expectations or things to look forward to. Merely the things that are important to me and accomplishing them for myself.
matter of fact
The next chapters in Life Unscripted have already made their mark and not even a month into the new year yet.
Make the most of your year. If it is important to you then make it happen!
Happy New year
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