The need for travel and the greater good aka Me

I have to travel at least a little bit to feel comfortable during the year. To feel in my proper path I need to leave the country at least once a year to have things in sync.

So, on my list this year is time with Ru. After all we need to just hang out and do it like we normally do. And damn I havent watched any good entertainment of hers since the cabin trip stuff in 2014. I am overdue and yeah it is not fair as she says, since she doesn't get as many with me. What can I say I am boring. lol

I know I have the Air and Space Museum in Dulles on the list. I need to feed my inner nerd and childhood. Plus there is the Miami auto museum that steve showed me and that is definitely on a must  do list right now. With all the cars, motorcycles, trucks, planes and memorabilia it is a ncecessity. Still waiting to see what the deal is with vegas though. Considering the source I knew that it could be iffy anyway.

Internationally. I still want to go to amsterdam, especially since I didn't get to go last year. Plus going to Venice is still on the to do list. I want my damn masks.So i have found some decent rates for these trips thankfully. But I also want to go back to jamaica. The problem with that is I want to go back to my resort which would require a female to go. Smh, history prevails on the not so good side on this one. And I love the damn resort too. Sucks. But hell, who knows I might go somewhere else in jamaica or finally make it to the DR. Either way the passport will have to be used.

Still don't know when or where the god daugher's graduation is going to be. And I haven't heard from her since like october or november or something. No clue what is going on there. Hope she is alright.

As a former military dependent we have traveling in our blood. So when I don't travel it definitely adds to my unhappy list.

But travel is such a wonderful thing. Damn, I haven't been anywhere in almost 6 months now. Wow, that is depressing.

Well, enjoy yourself and your life.

Poetic Moment: Mission Impossible: Compatibility

Mission Impossible: Compatibility

Impossible acts

Mental and physical traps

This bullshit dance

As I have to be the ultimate

Cryptographer

What the fuck is that

Perched like a gargoyle

Warding off evil spirits

In this trance so that we can

Fight each other

Until we come to the same conclusion

We already felt

And had in our head

Oh well

I guess

It’s

OFF WITH YOUR HEAD

From the chocolatezeus collection  1/30/16  ©

I feel another James Brown moment is needed

I have been listening to James Brown live at the apollo in 1962 and many of the music I like old school. Like Nelly "hot in herre" and Lil Jon. And of course my Rick Kelly "step in the name of love."

I have been laughing, remembering and having flash backs as I dance around in the privacy of my own universe. lol

The weekend that I allude to is one that had me first go to a masquerade ball that my ex big giant head and her monkeys were throwing. I danced for hours that night. It made up for being around big giant head. But wait there's more! lol  The next night the gary ex diva crew had a party going on at the trump casino. So I rolled there and danced some more hours. I was literally a dancing machine. I paid for the folly for many days after the weekend but dammit I had a good time pretending I could dance while I was drinking.

I want to have another weekend like that. Where I got a sexy female and we enjoy ourselves. Dance, drink and have a damn good time. 

and if you missed it up above. My ass CANNOT dance. I can pretend with ultimate energy. But when I am in a good mood and feel like having a good time in the right environment. then it is ON!!

This message what brought to you by The Big Evil, Public Enemy Number One, Just Don't Give a Fuck Angry Black Man.

aka

Me

It's time to blow smoke and get my therapy in.

Enjoy your day. And if you don't either pretend you did or make a statement of dissatisfaction.

Just Rude and Crude

I find these words used when females do not get their way with me. And that is fine. It helps differentiate the the black from the white in decisions.

I am not going to be dictated to or conform to:
Females
Submissives
Or humans that have no rights to do so

If it is a testament of wills then the obvious will be seen. That I stick with just being me.

As the spoiled jockey for position. Comparing me to exes, husbands and past relationships.  Reality will crash down at the end when the curtain is closed. And everything revealed shows evident.

Me...rude and crude?

I am and have been worst things than that.

Lip Sync Battle Inspired Moments of Memory and Laughter

Yes, the evil one watches things that make him laugh that are not horror movies. And I have enjoyed this show. But since I played catch up today on the second season I had to share this one.

This is Channing Tatum and his wife. And His wife fucking destroyed it with this Ginuwine "Pony" performance. That shit was ridiculous. Reminded me of when I am around people I can laugh, give lap dances to and carry on all silly. Damn, I miss those days now!

But enjoy I have watched it a few times and still enjoying. Channing and his heyonce performance was good as well.

Spoken Reality:

As I listened to Tank's SLP 2 and was in thought about things going on lately. I let the muse do her damn thing. After all she has been missing for a couple of days anyway.

Reality Evolved Dynamic

As I look you into your

Dark piercing eyes

I sigh

Seeing all that is encased

Spoken wordlessly behind

Those crystal orbs of

Your manicured design

Your search and need

Are not hidden behind

Breath taking smile

And chocolate curves

I see

Feel the ebb and flow

The longing of desire

You are

Lust

Love

Logical adventure

Submissive submission

Captured in bold

Contemplation and convention

Only when the key

Fits and is turnable

Here and now

We stand in bewilderment

Two opposing neurons

Somehow congruently

Firing

Broken molds

Captured between two

Stirred and mixed souls

Tossed and turned as events unfold

As I cup your chin

Tilt your head back to look at me

Know that I hold you

Mind

Body and soul

And I won’t let you go

Through the

Darkness and light

I give and commit to

The dynamic that we hold

Dedicated to our dynamic

The future unfolds

As I hold and mold this chocolate soul

Till the end of time

Until there is a hole in the soul

This dynamic

I hold

From the chocolatezeus collection  1/26/16  ©

Inventory Control and Forecast

When it comes to relations I am fully the Project Manager that I am regularly.  I had made some universal and defining classifications and measurements. And only time will tell who or what stays or goes.


As Dr Thomas said back in school applies here

Look to the left. Look to the right. Most of you will not be here after tonight!!!

Cigar Therapy, Oddities and Age Defining Adventure

Ok, so for those of you that think it is all gloom and doom. And I am not saying that I am not gloom and doom. But there are more to me than that. And I can hear lil red saying "you really need to let them..." I hear you but there is still a caste, class and just my damn system going on. lol

If you don't know by now I smoke cigars. *I am hearing "if you don't know me by now...then you will never ever know me" playing in the background constantly. And I spend much time at my favorite tobacconist constantly. Since I am not getting my fix or fucking and beating anyone I need some comfort zone activities. So as I always say, I am there for my therapy. A regular known to locals and those that come in more than once. The big black guy with the hugest cigar, just sitting on the couch smoking with a bunch of white guys solving world problems and the center of information and all things great and small.

I sit in there and talk to people with a lot of money and influence as well as derelicts of destruction aka me and charlie. lol But we laugh and talk about anything and everything. And it is always good to have a cutie like Myra in there. Bless her heart I would fuck that girl and make her sit in the corner for months. And of course there is adam the ex marine/security detail man. It is always funny because we can pick at each other and laugh and keep it moving. But the funniest part is that they realize that I am insane and into crazy things like bdsm and RC models and traveling.

Adam is my new vanilla supplier of kink. Since he has an oddities shop and the fact that he has a bunch of wonderful guns doesn't hurt my interest at all, I have found some interesting things. Like a rug beater that is definitely an early 1900 pervert able flogger. We laugh at how strange I am, especially for a black man. And even know I have to laugh at the antics in there.  So if you are looking for something weird like a shrunken head or warthog tusks or something I got the hook up! He has shown me something that he has sold to movie production companies and collectors alike. And there are a few items that I am definitely interested in. But the fun is being able to talk to him and see the things that he is working on and laugh about the crazy shit as we deal with the hardships of life.

I forgot until adam reminded me yesterday that he is only in his upper 20s. I had to laugh to my old ass self. At least I am staying true to form. I am becoming an old, cantankerous, chauvinistic, dirty ole, daily sex drive increasing old man. Mr red hair and beard that has been in the middle east and in the marines is only in his late 20s and here I am decades later. lol

But it didn't stop there because when I talked to Tareze last night about lil donnie taking a girl to his first dance and she reminded me I have known her since he was born 11 years ago I had to blink a few times in my shock. Damn, we have been family for that long? Add to that a god daughter that is going to be 15 this year after she graduates high school. lmao time is really "passing me by" like Pharcyde would sing.

Damn I miss them impromptu house parties, cookouts and just good ole times with Tareze and Big Donnie. Those were the type of partying that I excel at and enjoy the most. I need to make a trip to Louisianna along with Houston to see Ru. Time for laughter, fun and just a good ole damn crazy ass time.

Hmm, that reminds me it will be time tonight to get my classic entertainment from Ru when she gets back from Rochester and that whiny girl's birthday party. I hope she has plenty of fuck stories to tell of her adventures there. I do live to hear her dynamic sexual escapades. lol, even though she says my episodes of My Life Unscripted are better than all the fucking she is doing. I will completely disagree with that. I like hear how she fuck them and put them to pasture. I have enjoyed it enough times in person to keep me laughing and in memories at all times.  But I am really wondering if she finally patrick tie her up while they were up there. lmao I just can't wait.

The Point of No Return

Like the space shuttle taking orbit after ignition. The cogs and components need to be working together for the journey.

The fighting ended last year. And now I wonder the fate of the experiment and experience.

Only time will tell this summer and this year.

Will my fist be raised in the air? Will I signal for that Last Ride!!!


*the commitment is real*

Spoken: Jack Knife Power Bomb

Jack Knife Power Bomb

The blow up

Hands thrown up

Mind caught up

Now

Elements gathered

As mental aspects

Transcend

Open door to

Emptiness and what doesn’t matter

Destroyed pedestals

Casualties strewn everywhere

Bomb bay doors open

No target needed

Time for the mental

Carpet bombing ride

Bombs away

Let the carnage be displayed

The chosen after effect

Remain

Thank you

This was much appreciated

A bridge too far

Now

Just the aftermath

As I smile

Jack knife power bomb

From the chocolatezeus collection  1/24/16  ©

Spoken Moments: Mr. Fix It vs Demolition Man

Mr Fix It vs Demolition Man

To the rescue I come once again

Here to pull you out of

Mental and personal

Frying pans

As you bask in terms like

Teddy bear

Daddy bear

Standing here I have held you tight

Listening to the craziness that you invite

Been supportive

Time after time

But then

When the craziness

Combative and complacency

Explosions begin

Now it is time

To show the other part of this hand

Closed off

As you tell me what I think and said

Ignore put into use

As you can’t move past your PTSD

I take a step back and recline the seat

Speak once again

Exactly what I mean

Now I am

The disposable man

The one that you forget made the effort at hand

As all avenues close up

The reality sets in

Look at the sign

Open to closed

Results have been given

You wanted and started with

Mr. Fix It

Choose to explore

The aftermath instead

Just as you want

Here comes the

Demolition Man

From the chocolatezeus collection  1/24/16  ©

Secret Wars...Havoc Style

This culminated in the discussions lately.

I think in a George S Patton style. I am all out or not at all. And that has been a conflict at times. I tend to be black and white. Attack or wait for the moment. And I understand the grey area is where most live.

Questions have arisen about being a Dominant, techniques, mentoring and experience. I do not claim to be anything but a newbie. But since starting this I have embraced, learned and enjoyed my growth.

The glitter is all gone. This is D/s relationship and it is not some simple cake walk. Managing and interacting with multiple people is like juggling chain saws. I have learned how to account for the differences in personality, submission and more with lil red, little one and flower child.  I have had the chance in the last year to fully understand the work and learning that I have had to do to solidify.

Being Dominant is not glorious when you are concerned about daily safety, growth and activities of your subs. There are no orgasms when I have you tell me when you are going somewhere so I know that you are safe. It is not glorious when I remain on our case about your health and well being. It all leads to the actual relation you have with a submissive.


The question was asked. Do you still like her when you are not in her pussy or beating her. Do you like the person that is your submissive when you are not playing or cumming? The questions made perfect sense. Because I like them as a person for specific reasons. Not because of pussy, rope play, how much of a pain slut she is or any of that. It is the moments when I talk to them about every day grown up life. The stresses, concerns and fears.

My experience has not changed my goal. It has changed how much more adaptive I had to be. With having lil red I have had to become very very diverse to address how she is. To allow for her submission to manifest as it is supposed to with me. While little one and flower child have very different aspects of submission and they have their roles. But they have to settle into their relation with me and come closer. Just like I have strengthened and expounded with them being my submissives.

The war has been going on because being new makes me a target for the you don't have experience aspect as well as the you don't know what or how to do things comments. As I continue to address and deal with the past, present and future issues and repercussions, there is no blueprint to use or simple way to do it all.

To be honest, I am moving forward no matter what. And that means if it is not going to work I will take it as what it is. Learn and remember from it all. Because even now I am looking at things and seeing how things take shape and are either accepted or not.  And that really has shown it's true colors in these last months and currently.

Against the attitudes, the disbelief, the you think I am disposable and everything else. I am not going to give up what I want and need in being Dominant and achieving what I need. Either we are on the same page and moving forward or it was nice.

I am at war and I am not losing because of the axis, allies or anyone else. My journey will not stop because I won't give up or into anything less than what I require. My journey and growth in Dominance is not based on what others think and feel but on my path and tailoring. I will continue to learn from the more experienced and stable relationship having Dominants and keep it moving.

I will continue regardless of the challenges, comments and obstacles.

With that said let me deal with this next current episode and I will tell you this "don't let anyone move you from your path and goal."