Spoken Word Unscripted (Untitled)

when you just don't give a fuck
well, you use to give a fuck
now you are just like
what the fuck

brick and mortar
assaults cerebellums
with break neck speeds

cauterized effects
clipped apertures

distant memories
almost forgotten tones
of black snake moans
thunder twirling undertones

temperament
a sonic boom
established to the level
of the star killer moon

left
exposed
revealed

the unearthed
moment of truth



from the chocolatezeus collection   (c)  12/19/15

And Yes...This is a Star Wars Spoiler Post

Ok this is a spoiler so if you can't read then it is not my fault.

If I was someone that wasn't a fan of the movie I would enjoy it. It has a lot of action, some familiar faces and names. New characters and plenty of technical details.  Something for everyone to enjoy throughout the movie.

ok now as a Star Wars fan

that was some fucked up shit!

I mean we start off with characters that we don't know about and are not in the star wars universe originally. That is fine. But we really don't get any backstory on anyone except the black storm trooper finn. And they still didn't explain to us how they decided to start snatching children to be grown into storm troopers. The scavenger girl rey's story was even more vague than that. All we know is that she has force skills that are apparently naturally strong. So strong that she saw the connection of everything when she touched luke and vader's old light saber.  And then there is the poe pilot guy. umm we still have no idea about him other than he is their ace pilot and talks brashly during battles. hell, let's be real all the damn time.

Now I have read a bunch of star wars books. So I am pissed off at how they made han and leia solo's son a weak ass sith. Yeah he is at least on the darkside. But we don't really know what happened to turn him. Besides a mention of Luke skywalker and something going wrong at the academy he had before he dissapeared on sabatical. And the fact that kylo ren was han's son at least was a twist at first. But he looked too damn pretty play a sith lord.

Then to top all of this madness off you kill Han Solo. The one that looked the best from the original movies! Come on now.

Now the star fighter scenes were great. especially the precision strikes on the ground around han and chewie. They did well on those. the attack on the star killer was the re enactment of the attack on the death star. so that was recycled it seemed.

And we saw absolutely nothing of this captain phantasma chick who is supposed to be the head of the stormtroopers. wth

and all we get of luke skywalker is seeing him standing at the top of a mountain at the very end of the movie. Woosah

yeah this was still not as good as the episode 4 through 6

PSA: Those Things Called Important

Through communication there should be a shared importance upon things.

If there is no shown shared importance. Then address and act accordingly!!!

Deadpool vs Boba Fett. Epic Rap Battles of History - Bonus Battle! ONE OF MY FAVORITES

This has me rolling and laughing. I have watched it at least 5 times now.

The After Taste of Mourning

While I was at the cigar shop today I talked to Rich. It was good to see him. I hadn't caught up with him in a while. I just hadn't been in the shop really with being sick and everything.

His wife died this summer. So we have a common understanding and bond there. Even though the difference in him being considerably older than me, retired and white is there. We talk, laugh and share stories, cigars and convo.

Why do we have a common understanding?

My wife died in 2011. After being married a little over 2 years. And yes that was my first and only marriage. I was devastated, angry, numb and in limbo mentally. 

I dealt with things in my own way and style. Which is what I told Rich. Because people will think they are helping you when they are telling you to go the therapy, support groups and all that. They are not helping. They are really pissing you the fuck off. All they need to do is be supportive by saying that they are there if you need them and help you in applicable ways. 

The ability to deal with this type of tragedy is indescribable. It is being lost in your most familiar place that you have been at and enjoyed forever. Memories of things you did, experienced, watched or even ate with them can trigger emotional responses and memories. I found myself in tears a number of times for things I didn't even realize I saw that brought back memories of my wife. And I have watched Rich break down and hold the tears in the shop while dealing with the freshness of the pain. Like today when we were talking about the holiday. It is the first Christmas without his wife. And holidays are hardcore remembrance for you. To miss the things you would do together and the things you remember vividly. 

How did I deal with my loss?

I fucked the shit out of chicks.

I travelled

I ate

I drank

I stayed to myself

The first week right after my wife died. I finally got to fuck my old best friend for the first time. The pussy was good and it had been something I wanted since we were seniors in high school. (it would have been fulfilling my fantasy fully if I was able to fuck her before she cut her big, beautiful titties off.)  And then there was the issue of that she wasn't sucking dick until being in a relationship. oh well I will give that a C.

Then I fucked the sanford monkey bitch the night after that for the first time. I wore her little ass out to the point she begged me to stop fucking her. 

I wanted to fuck the ole greensboro swinger chick I use to fuck regularly but she didn't come until the day of the funeral. and I would have loved to fuck her and that girlfriend of hers again. Thick ass curvy bodies they had and squirting pussy. 

Of course I fucked up getting pussy when I went to the second funeral in philly. I could have had some pussy I never had a chance to fuck from the thieving monkey bitch days. I just didn't understand the message she had sent while we were at 4th street deli. And the super model chick that took me to the 76er game didn't come into my hotel room because we hadn't fucked in year and I wanted to turn her ass out again.

On the way back from philly I did get the maryland girls pussy the next day and some good head.

Then I was ready to hit the road and get it in. Traveling to ohio for some more squirting pussy. Fucking the detroit chick. Then to chicago for the fake ass east chicago monkey bitch to flake once again. 

And then I took the fuckfest into overdrive and if we fucked I was trying to kill you, your pussy and mouth. I left my marks and myself etched in their souls when I was done. 

I think I traveled for like 8 months or so. Just going everywhere from Jamaica to everywhere in between. 

The other way I dealt with things is just letting myself process at my speed. Everyone was so concerned about me because I didn't do a lot of crying around them or show emotion. I let them see me crying at the viewing of her body and both funerals. Other than that I didn't need them seeing me like that or hearing their comments in those moments. 

If I felt emotion I let it happen. Whether it was driving by the bus stop where she would catch the bus in front of our complex or seeing the ben and jerrys we went to the day she died. I didn't stop it from happening. So many tears and sobbing happened while I was driving. 

My anger was on overload. Egged on by people who thought they were helping by saying something to me when I have said I am fine. or the parental units telling me they are not coming to the funeral because the obituary of my wife had cleavage in it. 

When it comes down to it. You have to figure out your own path and way to handle things. And it doesn't come immediately. It doesn't all happen at once. And just because other people think you should do this or that doesn't make it applicable to you. These are some of the things I had to tell Rich. Because I saw the anger and being pissed and agitated with people when he just wanted them to STFU and give him space. 

Loss and Mourning has no blueprint. It is a reactionary and uncharted territory that is never the same for any two people.

EVER!!

The Application Process

This is the long and impossible journey to find someone or those that can be the right candidate for being mine. It is a journey that has been filled with most of the applications going directly into the shredder but what can you expect with dating these days.

I am a super sexed, stubborn, difficult, intelligent, evil, black caveman. Yes, there are plenty of other things to add to that but I will keep it short for now.

As a man we are taught to pursue females. And I did that back in the day. Well, I gave it the boy scout try I will say. Total failure! I was mr nice guy and a gentleman and all that shit. And I got being a friend and girlfriend for the efforts. I had to accept that wasn't me and stop being a nice guy and just be myself. The man that people don't really understand or have a clue about.

So what are the things on the application that have to be there for them to be looked at:

• intelligent
• loving
• diverse
• able to communicate
• sexual dynamo
• caring
• understanding
• able to truly focus
• able to think outside the box
• their own woman in thought, action and principle
• bdsm and kink appropriate

Why yes I am a super horny damn man. I love fucking sex. And I only want more of it the older I get. I have been a swinger for 14 years. That doesn't mean I think with my dick. Or that just because you look good and are fuckable that I will even remember you have a name or even be interested. You still need to have a damn lot more going on to be more than a throw away fuck toy.

Intelligence and communication is important because if I can't talk to you and we express ourselves then I am going to discard you like trash in my yard. That doesn't mean you have to have knowledge of everything I am into or know about. But at least be able to speak and listen if I mention things.

One of the hardest things are accepting me, being their self and able to focus on a relationship. It is like jumping from the earth to the moon in these aspects it seems for females. I am not asking them to be someone other than their self. And I just want them to be able to understand and be with me just being myself.

So these decades of applicants have provided one candidate and solution so far. And I kept that one until she died. 

Maybe the solution is not to take applications anymore and just become a mercenary.