A bit of everything in the world has gone on in the last week. I have held my attitude together as best I could. Patience has been at negative 100 with no change in sight it seems.
Had to call 911 on my cigar buddy because he became unresponsive while we were all sitting on the balcony smoking and drinking. Regardless of him not wanting me to call. The hell with that. Not dealing with him dying after his wife just died last year.
Dealing with the government and services has me really wanting to to tag all of them. So, I will just continue doing whatever I need to do to make things happen.
Ru, is alright even though I am worried about here and how she is doing. I know she got what it takes to survived but worry is still there.
Talking to Ru about relations and people thinking they know you. We both will give all to others. That is our way. But in the same token if nothing is given back or it is not appreciated then there is a cut off. There is only one person that knows me well enough to give perspective on me and that is Ru. I found it funny that others have talked to others thinking they knew how I think, felt or anything. The thoughts and feelings of others is understood but they are not necessarily mine. I won't chase or beg anyone to be with, stay or any of that. I expect them to be able to communicate, handle a relation with me and make the efforts. This is not have it your way burger king. But that comfort level is a serious thing for them. And I just don't casually fit in those boxes.
The parental unit is still deteriorating. But holding on. Memory is getting worse. Not sure about his hearing. Barely able to walk. Praying every time he takes the truck.
Being a black Dominant male these days is definitely not a cake walk. Hell, it is shocking to have survived this long.
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