So You Say You Are a Submissive

sub·mis·sive

səbˈmisiv/

adjective

1. ready to conform to the authority or will of others

Most see this word as a negative connotation and that it is weakness and all but it is actually something we do most of our life unless you were born or hatched as a dictator and have ruled from then on. In work, laws and rules we submit in so many ways.

Based off of discussions, being asked what does a submissive mean to and look like to me as well as that experience thing. I figured now was the time to address it here.

Submission is a choice unless you are incarcerated. And in the case of bdsm it is a choice that has to be made and truly desired with an ability to commit to and do it. Some feel that it should be ripped from them or them be coerced into it. But honestly you have to actually want to submit to someone for it to be submission.

Giving someone authority over you is no small act or task. It takes a commitment for all involved. The requirements in trust and aligned desires and goals have to be there. Also the need for a submissive to be ready to submit needs to truly be there.  Some say they are submissives but they need to jockey for, fight for and do anything they can to be in conflict with a Dominant.  And there are the excuses of I am in control in my vanilla life and all that. But if you are making a choice freely then you should be able to be a submissive and open to being the best submissive you can.

And negotiate, negotiate, negotiate what you want, desire, parameters and all in the beginning.  I learned to be super strict in negotiations from my experiences unfortunately the hard way.  But what a bdsm negotiation is not supposed to be a hostage negotiation for someone that says they are a submissive.  If it get to the point in the negotiation where you probably seek legal counsel then I will take a pass on that.  Be thorough but if pretty much everything is on the list there really is no purpose. And if things that are important to me are on the list then it all ends immediately.

What does a submissive look like to me?

One that is understanding of the journey. Ready to commit to learning, growing and not trying to control things because of their selfish needs.

Be able to deal with, understand, accept and know yourself. And I am not saying every single damn thing but to knowing and continuing to strive to know.

Be flexible, adaptable, able to comprehend and serve.

The ability to communicate is highly important. Especially in the appropriate ways.

Be open to being submissive, serving and tpe.



I will leave things there as I drink and listen to E40 and Too Short.
Tell me what you think if you are ready.