I did not do anything to honor it or celebrate it. I spent my time, completely alone around other people. I drank for some hours. Went to a meet and greet i said I was going to go to and came home and realized i hadn't eaten anything at about 11pm and had apple pie.
As much as I am an evil, asshole bastard. But it truly is shocking to others that i don't have this disdain or horror stories for marriage. I hear these horror stories all day from everyone and how they feel so negatively about those things. Hell, the girls have their experiences and versions of negative relations and effects.
I hate dating and all the versions of it. But when it came to my wife everything was right, felt right and was right. Through the ups and downs there was love, support, connection and unity. It personified what a loving and caring relationship and marriage should be like. I am thankful that. Love that I had that and miss it thoroughly.
In the same token because of that I have a higher standard than the masses when it comes to that deep of a relationship, commitment and love.
For someone to have those part of me fully that i had when I was married they have to be able to accept, understand, handle and bring all of themselves to the table!
There have been thoughts and comments about the idea that I compare and trying to find a replacement to my wife. Well I am not. There is no one that will ever be her or be close enough to replace her. Nor would I set some chick up for failure that way either.
In the aftermath I still hate dating even though I have been doing it for 3 years now. Because it is not all that it can and should be. But I also came to understand the modern female truly has been twisted into some gnarled root that they trip over into thinking and acting negatively when it comes to dating. With that information I formulated my safeguards, parameters and estimated outcomes.
I have two girls that love me. I love them dearly and appreciate them. I know they love me how they can, the way that they can and to the best they are capable of right now. I don't push them or ask them to be or do more than they are capable of. Even the idea of marrying lil red remains in place if she ever decided that was something of interest.
My evolution has been one of realizing limitations, societal stigmas and how I am the anti dating, relationship and love person. I can give the girls all the love they can handle but I can't give them more than that because it will only end in negative outlooks for them. or anyone to be exact.
The way that little one and red are probably are ChocolateDoll's damn doing anyway. She would send me something like this to make me suffer. lol
As i listen to our theme music, browse pics of how it use to beand think about my relation with red and little one I laugh at the contrast. I am thankful for the learning. Glad that I quarintine and compartmentalize really, really well! lol
Damn you Adrienne!!!!!!
lol Love You ChocolateDoll
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