Love Like My Own

I don't have kids. They are either dead or got killed by their womb donor.

Having said that I have taken care of those I was dating kids. From basketball practices to putting together christmas gifts and all things in between.

I love kids. Well, let me be honest. I love the good kids. the others I avoid like the plague.

One of the only good things to come out of my living in east chicago, indiana was falling in love with my god daughter. Now the reason why I became the god father was shallow and stupid but hey I love that little girl regardless of her family ties.

You are wondering why the Big Evil Muthafucker is bringing this up? Is he trying to play on your human parts and bits? Well the Representative just said, "good idea." The regular me said because I said so and it's fact. But anyway I bring her up after she tells me that she is graduating high school 2 years early. I am like WTF. I thought I would have at least another year before that with her little smart, grown ass.  So, I am going to have to get prepared. This is a graduation that I have to go to and I do not want to be around her family so somebody is gonna have to roll with me to this thing in Tennessee next year.

Though I could rarely ever see her. She has always been in my heart and mind. I constantly remember carrying her with me everywhere when her mother wanted a break. Me her and coco the puppy at that time. Teaching her to overcome fear and jump from couch to couch. Or teaching her to defend herself and not let anyone take her out. She was the reason I smiled back then through all the fucked up shit that was going on. She is the child I still wanted contact with when I moved from there.

I really wish that she had gotten a chance to meet Chocolate Doll before she died. I know Chocolate Doll would have fell in love with her cute self as well. And my god daughter always wanted to meet her or someone that I was with and made me happy for some reason.

Do Not get it twisted! She is a little girl built in a grown woman's body that has had to be the woman of the house in two households and had boyfriends 4 years older than her. I have cringed, bit my lip and tongue many a times thanks to the females that I have known in my life. Telling me just listen and don't go fucking daddy caveman on her. It was hard. I tried to just steer instead of my desire to crush and make things right.  That shit has been hard!

She has been the child I have had but didn't have. The smart little girl that really wasn't as much trouble unless there were issues with her womb donor and family. She rebelled like kids do. Thankfully she never did anything to fuck up her future and career possiblities.

Now, I am hoping to get her to use that brain of hers for more than hairstyles and perms. she would be a great woman lawyer. But no matter what I am proud of her.

Hell, she said she is going to the bahamas next year. I guess that is the graduation present. Lord please look out for her!

Let me go fix me another drink and deal with these thoughts. No doubt, more grey hairs will be prevalent before i know it.

Beam me up...I need more liquor here!