Relationship Relativity Reality

Now my relationships have been mostly crazy and disastrous.  I did have 2 great relationships though. My on going one with my fellow Road Warrior Ru Ru. And my marriage to my deceased wife Chocolate Doll. Now these are and were in no way perfection. But they are and were how relationships should be.

And my current relationship with Lil Red is one of diversity. Because we are like two different alien races without a universal language decoder trying build a planet together. But for me opposite types of females to ne are the ones that tend to work for me. As long as they are in my parameters.

Alright then. I am going to discuss my views about relationships here on my blog. And they will be following Sir Mythos' posts concerning his educational on relationshionships in the MDHL group on fet.  So I will be responding more in depth here. I will not quote from the posts because I do not have permission to do so. But I do invite those on fet to go read and discuss.

Here comes the insight of Havoc.

Relationships require WORK to create and maintain them. There is no way to get around that unless you are playing or pretending to have a relationship.

Today's Topic is: SELF CARE The importance and need for it in a relationship. Whether vanilla or D/s.

My view is that self care should be the building block of relationships. Because if you have no sense of self, self worth or understanding of self then it all begins with a farce.

It is the emotional, spiritual and physical aspects that need to be tended to and nurtured.

• Emotionally. Are you able to allow the flow of emotions and feelings that occur with connecting with someone? This is where you form a bond that either makes the relationship last or dates when it comes to an end. So many are in fear of their emotions and feelings that they doom any type of relationship they have from the beginning. It is alright to form attachment. Even though society tells you other wise. That bond is one that is fully of strength and power in a relationship dynamic. It is where the trust, desire and need have unified.  These mental aspects have to be admitted to, understood and accepted within yourself. Without that how can you honestly say you are available to be involved with anyone else? And I do not mean that you have to wait until you know everything about yourself. Because that is a life time journey. Understand that you do and did this or that. That you have pros and cons of the things that you have done and experienced. Understand the reasons why you did those thing and learn from them. Then accept all that has happened and the challenge of making the best decisions and things better along with that you can't change the past.
• Spiritual. This is that essence that allows for a drive and need to build upon your relationship. For me it has levels. There is that ultimate level, which is the immediate, no question what it means and the destination will be. (the very rare and powerful one that I do not take lightly) Then there are the ones that are based on how close the individuals are to me. Since I take relationships so seriously I come off mean, brutish and being the Caveman that I am. I will cherish, protect and love you to the best of your station. But I will also dismiss you without a second thought when need arises.
• Physical. You have to care of your body for you to remain in the land of the living and have the ability to be involved in a relationship. And yes, I have been a culprit to this in my life. I have done better. I have had a big reason to since I wanted to establish a permanent relationship. In this is that drive to have both me and my sub both working on being healthy and living long. So yeah, I started going to the gym and my eating style has changed. I encourage her with her gym and tennis activities that she enjoys anyway. So it is a bit easier.

Just a beginning. Learning and growing are a permanent thing.