I have done some shooting and kendo early this morning. I needed to manage and get some release. So the fighting and anger fueled energy has been accessed and used. But there is always plenty of that inside of me
Bruce Banner said it best in the first Avengers movie when they told him to get angry. The key is that I am always angry. It is a unlimited fuel inside of me. I just use it and control it now. Unlike when I was young and let it be out of control all the time. I didn't know how to use it and channel it into anything other than destruction back then.
Today is my wife's birthday. And memories are going through me as well as reminders of how the relationship was spectacular. And the comparison with the other relations and attempts that I have attempted falling very short. So there is no crying or anything like that. Just mood, attitude and reality checks. Remembering that expensive celebration at the melting pot that she wanted. 200 to cook our own food. lol If I hadn't been with her I would have continued ignoring my birthday and the celebrating thing.
Things are what they are.
Miss you Chocolate Doll. Love you Superwoman!
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