Dating the Convoluted Frontier

After a discussion with the md chick. And hearing about that date until you feeling friends thing. It brought me back to the aspect of I dont want you as a friend if I want you to be my woman, my girlfriend or wife even. For me a friend is not at the station of those I just mentioned. But for the sake of females I have always said that they can feel that I am their friend. I will never claim to be though.

My relation are intimate and personal. That is why I am serious about them. It is the reason behind talking to them and the times when it was alright to tell them how I felt. And I always mention Ru but she is the evidence. She has been down with me through at least4 relationships and my marriage.

I just dont see a need for posturing and playing keep away both physically and emotionally.  But there is this need for a very long drawn out episodic adventure. You either choose to go along or say fuck it and treat them like meat.

I scare the sheep because I told them what I wanted and what I felt. Well, that was before the Representative had to help. Now there is only the silence and look of attentive details. Like Pavlov I learned to keep my reaction, interest and feeling to nil double nil.

Everything is fine as long as you see, do and think their way. It makes them feel so comfortable and strong. When the real strength is in understanding the differences and being one.

Dating has led to a chessmaster bloodsport. uou fight for position and superiority.  Winner takes all.

Instead of accepting and understanding how I am loving and feeling you and want you permanently in my life as who you are. You have filibuster and fight every inch. Unable to be vulnerable.

What can I say? Amid the secrecy, fraudulent importance, lack of focus and inability to effect change.

You are left with and left to

Deal with dating as a calamity or disease to whoever you attempt to date.

Well, have to spalsh amother chapter to this another time. I need to go write some more. The material is piling high.

Morning to you and you.