In vanilla life as well as the lifestyles, we talk about being able to be seen, known and all to others. When it seems like your relation is in the dark the red flags and collision klaxons normally go off.
It is something that I have thought about as well as been in discussions about.
For vanilla people it is always the big issue of when can they meet family and friends. Like that validates them in their minds. For me, if I had been interested in keeping them around I wouldn't let them meet the parental units because that could be the end of everything if I did that. Once they interrogated whoever that would be dating over situation. But they kept begging for it to happen.
In the lifestyles it is a two edge sword at times. You don't want to out anyone and you don't want to be the unknown to them, the community and those that know about the lifestyle. So you walk a line of what is appropriate and what is not.
I am not saying for people to get involved with folk that no one knows about and or have never seen or heard of. There is a chance of your disappearance occurring then.
There is the opposing side of not wanting people in your business. This can be because they spark drama, they are trying to play you, they have a fear of others knowing....hell basically a bunch of reasons are possible. You just have to analyze and think it through for you.
Personally, I don't trust those that have the we can't be public in the community excuses. That tends to show me my trust will be very little with you. My mind goes into, what are you trying to hide or have going on the side for this type of action?
But, it is best to take each situation into account with as much information as possible. Then you make your decisions.
If everything has to be anonymous even when there are no reasons for it. Then you have you answer already then. Shields up and Battlestatioins!
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