I was talking to Cutie Pie last night and we were candid as usual since we have been talking. She asked me what type of Dominant am I? And I know the answers are varying for others from daddy dom and all the other labels.
I answered. I am just a Dominant. I have done well in striving to promote, encourage and grow my submissives. Providing structure, protocols, outlet and ability to focus on attainable changes and goals.
Looking back it is a far place from where I tried to start with lil red. The difficulties and things that wouldn't come together. With little one and the flower child it opened up other experiences. Gave way to applying who and what I am exponentially. And the things that I have gained and learned from those with lasting dynamics as well as my continue learning has developed into something for sure now. And I am thankful for that.
I had to realize that their submission is only capable of what they mentally can handle, will give and choose to be. Absolutely nothing more. So, I don't try to make them submissive. They have to already choose to be that to me. Some know their journey in that and others don't. lil red has her type of submission that she is still trying to define and tie in with me. little one works on her submission in conjunction with her poly lifestyle. And flower child works to learn a new understanding and role in her submission from what it use to be.
This is not originally what I wanted or looked for. I wanted just one submissive that could handle things and be the woman that I needed to be with and serve me. That started out with lil red. And due to circumstances just wasn't an interested position for her. So when she kept talking about little one and flower child interested at the time I was just like whatever. And then I decided to prove her right. I was wrong and not even interested in them in anything. But I decided to gain knowledge and learning from them. It led eventually from no interest at all to submissive undertakings.
lil red asked if I was happy. No, I am not. When I get a chance to enjoy a moment with her I will be in that moment. I will ride that happiness until we see each other annually. Happiness has become like a Halo construct. It is appreciate and taken instride when it is available. My happiness will be found shortly when I am back to my travel and time spent away with those that want to see me and places I will enjoy freely. Until those moments and the recipient of the journey join. I am merely the practical machine.
Cutie Pie and I discussed poly and relationships. Their meaning and applications.
Poly works one of two ways. It has all individuals involved fully and committed to the established relationship or it is a business like relationship decision of what is best possible joint venture. There are other variables like emotional attachment and love. In my case there has been some emotional attachment. But I also learned that with lil red there has to be limited to extremely little emotional attachment involved to allow her to be comfortable and interested. I wasn't use to turning the emotional attachment switch off when I was interested in someone unless they were never to be encountered again. For her it allowed her to be a step comfortable after all these years. little one and flower child need the aspect of emotional attachment to feel a more whole form of connection. And flower child I have been the life guard in her journey into exploring and understanding her emotional ability, skill and the need not to fear it.
Relationships are extremely tailored made. With little one and flower child I am always in contact with. We are engaged and I make sure things are running as smoothly as possible with health, life career and interests. lil red and I dont' do those things. She has had to decide to develop things herself first and foremost. lil red is not mentally connected like that. A work in progress or maybe something that will never be. Her time will show it in the end.
So when Cutie Pie and I were talking about the relationship I wanted for myself. I simply replied honestly.
I started out and sought one woman to be the all I needed. And it was possible and attainable. I choose lil red since she was the correct choice for that. But, the one thing I can't factor in is her wanting, seeing or being that to me.
Maybe only my wife was the only woman to be able to fulfill that role. But I know better. What I saw was simply the formula for success and an extraordinary thing. But I cannot make anyone feel, see, understand or accept anything.
So instead I have a poly relation where the females do their thing. My involvement is on a sliding scale accordingly. And it's position is definitely interesting. I am not out fucking everything like it is thought and believed. This wasn't about pussy. And yes it is not what I wanted and needed from the start. But I made the executive decision and adapted to this moment in time only.
Who knows. The three of them may be gone and unable to be with me. And I am not pissed and upset about that. As long as they didn't violate those sacred rules I have they are fine. I just want them to be better females, submissives and individuals than whenever we started. To have their experiences from interacting with me and move forward appropriately.
This may all blow up this summer and I will be the new Dominant that had the females with over decades of experience each no more. But, I will take it in stride. As I have already looked at the possibilities and realities in play and in mind.
So with all that said
Talking to Cutie Pie was fun as always. And I hope it allowed her to understand more and get closer. She is an interesting and unique type. Plus us newbies need to stick together right! lol
My positions on love, relations, relationships and D/s dynamics have all taken a drastic MasterChief type of restructuring. It has been an impact on the girls. There has been some unpleasantness and I think that some hasn't caught on to them yet.
But the MasterChief application of me is present. The cold, calculating man of action. Even though their words claimed they didn't want it this way. It is the only way that responses and achievement has been attained.
But hey the nice side is available for the right applicant!
lol Cutie Pie thanks again as always. The interactions are always interesting.
No comments:
Post a Comment