This culminated in the discussions lately.
I think in a George S Patton style. I am all out or not at all. And that has been a conflict at times. I tend to be black and white. Attack or wait for the moment. And I understand the grey area is where most live.
Questions have arisen about being a Dominant, techniques, mentoring and experience. I do not claim to be anything but a newbie. But since starting this I have embraced, learned and enjoyed my growth.
The glitter is all gone. This is D/s relationship and it is not some simple cake walk. Managing and interacting with multiple people is like juggling chain saws. I have learned how to account for the differences in personality, submission and more with lil red, little one and flower child. I have had the chance in the last year to fully understand the work and learning that I have had to do to solidify.
Being Dominant is not glorious when you are concerned about daily safety, growth and activities of your subs. There are no orgasms when I have you tell me when you are going somewhere so I know that you are safe. It is not glorious when I remain on our case about your health and well being. It all leads to the actual relation you have with a submissive.
The question was asked. Do you still like her when you are not in her pussy or beating her. Do you like the person that is your submissive when you are not playing or cumming? The questions made perfect sense. Because I like them as a person for specific reasons. Not because of pussy, rope play, how much of a pain slut she is or any of that. It is the moments when I talk to them about every day grown up life. The stresses, concerns and fears.
My experience has not changed my goal. It has changed how much more adaptive I had to be. With having lil red I have had to become very very diverse to address how she is. To allow for her submission to manifest as it is supposed to with me. While little one and flower child have very different aspects of submission and they have their roles. But they have to settle into their relation with me and come closer. Just like I have strengthened and expounded with them being my submissives.
The war has been going on because being new makes me a target for the you don't have experience aspect as well as the you don't know what or how to do things comments. As I continue to address and deal with the past, present and future issues and repercussions, there is no blueprint to use or simple way to do it all.
To be honest, I am moving forward no matter what. And that means if it is not going to work I will take it as what it is. Learn and remember from it all. Because even now I am looking at things and seeing how things take shape and are either accepted or not. And that really has shown it's true colors in these last months and currently.
Against the attitudes, the disbelief, the you think I am disposable and everything else. I am not going to give up what I want and need in being Dominant and achieving what I need. Either we are on the same page and moving forward or it was nice.
I am at war and I am not losing because of the axis, allies or anyone else. My journey will not stop because I won't give up or into anything less than what I require. My journey and growth in Dominance is not based on what others think and feel but on my path and tailoring. I will continue to learn from the more experienced and stable relationship having Dominants and keep it moving.
I will continue regardless of the challenges, comments and obstacles.
With that said let me deal with this next current episode and I will tell you this "don't let anyone move you from your path and goal."
No comments:
Post a Comment