Definition: Reactive armor is a type of vehicle armour that reacts in some way to the impact of a weapon to reduce the damage done to the vehicle being protected
You thought when I said reactive that I meant that I was reacting to stimuli. Reality is the reactive armor is being prepared for things.
I always wanted family. Me, a wife and kids. Reality shook that to it's atoms. I finally found a wife. Yes, a miracle in and above itself. But there still were no kids as much as we both wanted them. And then there wasn't a wife anymore.
So I was thrust back into the horrid and ultra stupid world of dating. Basically, I knew I wanted a wife again. But this time with the understanding of even more depth. I want a wife that is submissive to me and even more connected than before. I fucked up now. I just went to impossible to infinity and beyond. I want a wife and her to be my submissive. No way!
I gave up and gave in. Still having that tiny spark of maybe I can hit the lottery twice in my life and get what I need. But I know that I am difficult and different. Even when they think they can connect me to their past men I show just how I am. it is the reason why I have kept more than one for majority of my life. Because they needed to be a woman by committee to me. (you like that NFL management don't you?) One or two couldn't handle me. Three or four had a better chance of surviving me.
Even though I know the odds are more than stacked against me. That it is hard to be with and understand me no matter how simple I try to explain it to be. That glimmer of hope was there. Hope...my enemy!
So lo and behold comes that distinct feeling. That vibe that I have only had once before. No, this is a fraud, It can't be happening. I fought it and then I realized that I wasn't wrong. It was that same impossible feeling and understanding. That vibe that said "this is that one of a kind thing." I evaluated and analyzed again and again. I couldn't deny it. So I did what I am supposed to do as the man. I put the reactive armor into the fray of things. Speaking my mind, what I sought and what I thought. I gave straight forward truth and knowledge about what it was I was thinking.
With everything that happens and goes into living. There is no telling what the future may bring.
In this year I have been:
- betrayed
- envied
- the object of jealousy
- the scapegoat for not speaking up and speaking their mind
- the problem and anomaly
- the key to frustration
- overbearing and demanding
- aggressive and over confident
- despised for not wanting to be friendly
But in this year I learned even more. About life, me and living. The things and people that I have held important, evolving. The openness that I had allowed to grow and explode, met a black hole.
What reactive armor truly is?
Being prepared for things. Anticipating as much as you can but understanding that you will be blindsided anyway. It is making that effort even though you know they will not understand and feel some negative way about you. Standing your ground when all others flee. The moment that you show compassion even when they are lying to, trying to deceive and attack you.
Reactive armor is being battle ready and battle hardened.
And that is where I am. A bunker against the humans. The one that frustrates and pisses you off.
I am me, myself and I.
Whether in the fortress of solitude or in your heart.
I can only be those things.
No matter how much you disapprove and disbelieve.
*ass smacks and nipple pinches*
Enjoy the rest of your Sunday.
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