I talked to Ru. I needed to. Something that would bring me some form of de escalation. She could hear the deal and said she was more concerned than normal. And I understand along with appreciate. She has been there for me time after time. And she will say I do the same but I discount that.
Right now I am sitting calmly in the blue, red and yellow flames that are burning me. This experience has really made me think and evaluate even more than my usual need 24 hours a day. And because of this I have to make changes and adjust accordingly so the way I am right now never occurs again.
I have allowed my age to deteriorate the things that have been my strengths and protected entities. Apparently I just have become slack and not as secure with each year. It is time for homeland security obviously.
The past is the past. You learn from it. When something happens again that is the same or similar then it is time for chaotic change.
And after feeling like this and everything showing me the disconnect with emotions, feelings, actions and relations. I realize it is time for upheaval.
I got the message!
Bring Out Your Dead!!!
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