By the Waterfront

I have time to reflect. Get things done and deal with things here in Tampa. The weather has been nice and there have been some great sights to enjoy as I have smoked cigars. The boats in the water or passing by. Conversations with marriott workers and people staying at the hotel.

It can be very complicated when as a man you want to support, protect and be there for who you are with. This doesn't change in D/s relations. It only intesifies because of the roles and expectations. Add to that they type of women that I only deal with are extremely independent and self sufficient both in action and thinking and you have a quandry. I have had to really adjust my mindset to understand and apply accordingly to our relationships. Most of the time my support is a matter of just listening. And sometimes I wonder is that just because of the distance or both distance and how things are. Either way it is a juggling act many times to keep from reverting back. It has always been my nature to be there for whoever I was involved with.

I was asked about the release that was done this week. I learned valuable lessons from it. I learned not to accept things like I did then. I learned to be a lot more thorough. Had some good times and bad. The bottom line is that I learned. It is what it was.

Things have shown me to cherish what I have with lil red and little one even more now. Ideal is not something I am not so stringent on anymore but I am still going to be very very picky. I am weird and therefore need weird females to be able to deal with me. But it is a very thin line to tread all the time. I receive different things I need from them. Their involvement with me is completely different. But I am thankful for it. And I came up with an idea for next year for me. *snicker*

I was dissapointed that my restaraunt winchesters was gone. I was looking forward to that. And as usual anything downtown in a big city is always expensive as hell.

Sitting here at Tampa Humidor getting work done is nice. A big humidor. A bar. Plenty of seating. This is a nice place to come. Still love my Davis and son tobacconist at home though. lol

Let the debauchery, thinking and life unscripted continue then.