I have to say I feel like I have been sitting in cerebro many times this week with the interactions, thoughts and analysis. And believe me I am not complaining. Hell, I couldn't anyway as much as my brain runs around the clock anyway.
Discussions on the conference call this night about people understanding and their application of the words honesty and transparency was interesting. I never thought about the fact that humans may have no concept of that when I ask them to just be honest with me. Their honesty may be telling me what they feel comfortable with only. Not the total truth. And that is from upbringing, socializations and experiences. The light went off when it was explained. And of course Lil Red agreed that there was no common meaning to things. Everything is subjective. And considering her that is a pure law at all times.
There was also a conversation about long distance relationships. The need for rituals and service. The things that allow the dynamic to be close and have meaning. And honestly this application is difficult because of how her brain is wired. I have had to be creative and work at a pace that I am not use to honestly. But the Master spoke on his experience and about his slave and dynamic. I can feel that because of the similarity that I have currently. Long distance is difficult but I am looking at the goal. The being together goal in the end, in the dynamic that is us. The obstacles right now are there and being worked on daily. But I feel the same way that he did. I found the right one. The one that I have trust in, that connection that sets her apart and the relationship that is beneficial and that I want to have and grow. It was definitely a hopeful inspired message of what I seek. The dynamic and the wife and family. Simply the things that I already said to Lil Red and put on the table prominently.
Lil Red and I have talked quite a bit this week. I guess naked time helps and her mother being gone most definitely. Working on the stumbling blocks of communication. Really have to always keep in mind how she thinks and perceives things so that there isn't a disconnect constantly. I don't have to lie about needing my quality time with Lil Red. It is part of helping things with me. She brings a peace and calm that allows for my life to take a moment to breathe. Then I can work on things in a better mind set and more effectively.
There is always a discussion about Doms listening to their subs and slaves. Honestly I trust Lil Red implicently. I know she keeps my best interest at heart and I always am glad and appreciate of that. Even when she may think I dont' listen to her. lol But just as I remain concerned about her I am thankful that she remains concerned about me.
This week has opened the doors to understanding dynamics more intimately. With rituals, concern and dissapointment all in the mix. But this week has been really monumental in the aspect fo dynamics.
Right now I seriously need my FIX! Like a car's tune up and oil change to make things handle rightly again.
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