I really wonder what is the point of some people existing.
Things still have not occurred as they should. I am deaking with it but I realize that I will become even worse than how I was before. To achieve the place of being that I need. The actions have to be even darker than me previously.
Duty was my key. I havr done it for decades wordlessly. I have come to cease and desist on that front. There is no need to neglect me anymore.
Learning has definitely pushed the envelope.
I need my sadistic release. But at this level I am concerned. All of this pent up need to inflict pain and fuck until a female is laying there unable to continue as I say fuck you and continue anyway.
The Beast is so far enraged there is nothing I can do about it anymore. No release. I have not gotten my fix.
I guess it is time to let out all this frustration in another way. A non constructive and volatile way.
Let the eruption begin.
*scorched earth protocols*
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