Wednesday, July 27, 2016

There and Back Again: A Moment in Insight and Poetry

Through conversation, introspection, analysis and experiences lately it was time to merely speak on me and where I am at currently.  It has been a long journey and there is a lot more to go.

My adventures in life and bdsm have flowed and grown. Not without issues, problems, solutions and successes. There are things that have changed and that will be changing as of this weekend even further. (growth and strength are good.)

By now you should know through reading this that I am not what you are use to. My army marches to it's own beat and retains it's own rules and principles. So I will put some things out there that have come up and or been asked.

Do I care?

Yes, I care about those that I have placed in one of my circles of having registered as being important to me. It can and has been questioned because I am direct by nature. Basically an advanced caveman with a huge sledgehammer. But I will ride with you for as long as you are able, ready and actively maintaining your position with me.

Is there love, loving and in love?

It is available if there is that connection, you want it and are able to give it fully in a way that is for me and you are available to it.
I can and will love you. But you are the deciding factor in the conditions, intensity and availabilty for any love at all.  I can be your Dominant, your associate or just the person that fucks and beats you once in a while and give you some love.

Why can't you work in the gray area?

My operational theater is at the ends of the spectrum. Yes, it is black and white. My principles will always be in effect and maintained. I am going to support, push, break and hold your hand into better and greater things. It is not always going to be fun. You are not always going to understand every aspect. It is a matter of trusting that the reality is that I am looking at you benefiting and moving forward.  That is my purpose for involvement for you.


So where have things led?


Even though I believe in marriage and being in love and happily ever after. Those things are not on the table until someone can accept, understand and be that role. So, it is in the vault in the buried fortress of silence under my soul.

My focus has been on making sure the person I date and my subs are happy and furthering their lives. But I am refocused more now on doing the things that I need to do to balance out things going on in my life that can have me properly in balance so I can maintain the dating and submissive relations then get my needs that I require met to my requirements in all ways.

My stress is down and where it should be. I no longer really allow myself to feel much at all anymore outside of my selected situations. My battlefront has changed so my campaign has taken a different direction to fight in.

My restructuring may and will disturb and remove some folks and that is on them. Time has passed on and there is no need to continue being stagnant, continue pipe dreams  or let obstacles deter me.


So the journey is going to be chaotic, not what you think and way out of left and right field at the same time. But I garauntee you it will be Dynamically Unique!

I will leave you with this...


There and Back Again



A Heart
Devoid

A Soul
Deferred

A Mind
Deterred

As I check this flat line
I find that the results are
The culmination of
Experience and time

Waiting
Has found me wanting more
Wondering the cause and effect of
Applications and paths I have
Chose

A heart full of passion and love
Turned carbonite cold

A future prominently proposed
Sterilized by carbon dating

The situation now
No longer at Defcon 4
But merely a
Search and Destroy

Attempts to pinpoint
Where it all began
Flow like lava through
Each cerebellum’s pore

Only leaving

Related situations
Expected role annihilation
Closed doors

Seems like I stood at this precipice
Before

Until I realize the ultimate differences
The pieces that are on the board

A soft chuckle
Escapes me as I realize
My future ideology
Is lying dead on the
Floor

In memorandum
For the things that I

Loved
Cherished
Wanted
Fought for
And more

Left
Like a cadaver
Upon life’s floor

Forever more
Forever more




From the chocolatezeus collection  7/27/16  ©


No comments: