Ru and I had a pow wow. We have had plenty talk about lately with everything going on in our lives.
But we went in on the subject of emotions. She was asking me how to get rid of them. As I told her unfortunately you can't get rid of them fully. You can compartmentalize and allow them to die like I have had in practice for a long time now. But honestly she doesn't need to get rid of her emotions and feelings. Just a matter regrouping and reconstituting herself. Being able to shut those things off outside of giving to someone that may actually be worthy of it all.
She has been with me through every emotion and feeling I have experienced almost I think.
I really don't want her like me. Cold hearted and really disconnected. She doesn't need that no matter the pain that she has been put through. Once you reach this point then everything takes on a darkside perspective. And even though I know that she has that evil asshole streak. I think most of my women have that. Still, she has a big heart and needs to be able to express, show and keep that heart like that. I don't want her like females these days. Just hiding emotions and feelings while talking about how they are in so much control. Meanwhile they are lost, confused and conditioned to hate that they feel by other females, feminists and male haters.
So as I hope for the best and steer into a direction of the positive and the light. I am going to enjoy my dark, and evil nature.
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