The ex best friend summed it up the best "I miss the old you."
Through the fire and brimstone I was forged to be better and stronger. That meant shedding the nice guy shell and evolving. Leaving behind the trappings that only kept me caught in simplistic, meaningless activity.
See, the romantic, Renaissance man died with hope and pipe dreams. The adventures of being the nice loving man led me to watch my funeral pyre burning. My transition from Luke Skywalker to a Super Darth Vader came at that moment. A ethereal and spiritual transference.
So, that person that the ex best friend said she misses. Grew up and became a man instead of a boy. Learning and applying the reality instead of dwelling in hope and what if equations.
Knowing what I want and not settling. My focus. Part of the things that have been seen as drastic changes. I am seen as combative and negatively endearing. But those that know me Ru Ru and Kay know that. I love just as hard as I am evil in all things. The things that humans cannot understand are simple living for me. The on and off switch is a constant thing. Cold or hot. Dead is anything in between.
Understanding, acceptance and focus are the relevant things. Those things that define intimacy at the cellular level with me. just like the cali girl constantly saying "you need to be nice to me." Drums up memories of stupid females and displays a need to control and change me. That won't be happening. I don't make a bunch of demands but one of the basics is do not try to change me. Talking about if your nicer it would make me happier and nicer. Umm, hell, fucking no. We are nothing and have nothing together so you gets absolutely nothing! Females figuring they are supposed to get quality treatment when they are nothing to me but regular humans that are breathing. If you are of interest then I tell you and show you until you fuck it up.
Like Bilbo Baggins said and sang at the end of the Hobbit. The Greatest Adventure is what I have led.
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