These Moods, Moments and Memories

One of my favorite albums is Monifah's "Moods...Moments." It was one of the very few Rnb albums I could listen to back then. It held and holds a lot of meaning. And Monifah is one sexy motherfucker! Her songs provided context, connections and feelings as music that truly moves you always does.

red and I have had conversations about music and what it represents, how it makes you feel and the memories it represents. That is mostly because she is a music know it all *lol*.  But I seem to marry, date and associate with these types apparently. lol  I will warn you. Never do musical trivia with red or little one. You will lose.

So an awful lot has gone on lately. Especially this year.

Parental unit hospitalization. Health issues. The things going on with Ru, little one, red and everyone else.Add to that the transportation issues and other things. You can say there really has been a busy and continuous amount of stress.

red and I were discussing my current situation and the concept of support. It is believed that I don't, won't want or ask for support. I have asked for support. red and little one have given me support. And Ru has been the support plenty of times.  But I have made some changes about support, needs and everything concerning myself. So things are a bit different. red called it sad and I understand why she said that.  But the scale had to be used and balanced accordingly with this as well as other things.

Here is the twisted part to the paragraph above. On the other hand I will do whatever I can to support and be there for those I actually care about. Even when they just want to be alone to deal with whatever. Yeah, a double or triple standard, but hey I am a Caveman. Not going to lie and claim that it doesn't bother me that I cannot be there or support those I care about. I want to always be there but I realized that I can't and i shouldn't from being with red and little one. And I needed to learn that. It helped me with understanding and acceptance. The puzzle and the scale were made proper.

Being connected is a seriously important thing to me. Whether the person I am interested or whoever understands it or not. I have and will attempt to explain but it is a concept that seems to be only be grasped by those that it is important to. And it is not an issue. It is fine. It doesn't change the way I feel, the position i have given to the person that I am interested in or care about.

I didn't think about it until today when i realized the comment about a picture of Chocolate Doll and the discussion about support and comforts  But hell it has been 10 years since we first met and had great sex on our first date at her house in philly for five days.  Hard to believe that it has been that long.

So all these days, months and times have truly been...  moods, moments and memories


As I listen to this mix I smile, laugh and think about the past and present.


Big smile. Make the most and best of all that you do.