The Here and Now

I have had my adventures and I look forward to so many more. From swinging to bdsm and all that.

I hate having to break in new females that majority of the time can't keep up or keep my interest.

I realized going through the stuff that what I was relying on is a possibility not something that is a definitely. And clinging on to that is what that part of me will do.  But in thinking it made me realize that I needed to go back and redirect. In order to regain that presence. The one that is basically ominous.

The days of travel and just doing my thing. Those are the days that I will have to return to. It won't be filled with city to city sexcapades anymore. Since my super picky selection process and needs make that even more difficult today. But I see how much I need that now. Wishing I had someone to go and be with on many adventures. Ru reminding me of how we use to kick it and go to swing parties and all.

The sadistic part of me has been ready and things planned for it's release party. Unfortunately postponed repeatedly. This energy has been in me and ready to fully be put into effect. Then....nothing. No outlet. No let loose finally. It has been very sad.

Talking to Munchkin remembering the episodes. Fucking a couple times a week at the honey comb hideout. The females from the groups I would fuck. Especially ole girl with the chocolate chip nipples and areolas and blond hair.  Of course she had to remind me of dealing with the pink chick and all the mattresses in the hotel we fucked up because of making her squirt and the parties where she was confined to the floor in the corner. Even the amy chick in henderson was a damn good fuck.

I stay horny as hell. No outlet is killing me. Adding to that my sadistic needs. I am the kraken attempting to be caged and failing.

what i want is the one who turns me on. When we are together it is fire and electricity. We are uncaged fucking beasts until she is spent. And even then i will continue to make her cum again and again. dry up the pussy to make it wet again.  Yeah I miss that shit like a fucking crack head misses crack. It has been fucking 6 months since that and I am mad.

As I have reiterated and said repeatedly. I need serious fucking, pain delivery and debauchery. I need to feed my needs. Rope ties that I haven't been able to practice or try. Now I am wondering. Damn, just feed my fucking need so there is comfort and peace.

*shrug*

Well, we will see what happens next. I do know that I am going to go back to dissapearing. Maybe that will bring the connect closer again. Maybe that will be that aspect that gives them comfort again.

All I know is I need a week long fuck session at least to survive the next couple of weeks.

The public is not safe until someone feeds my need. I need my Fix! Unfortunately that is nowhere to be seen any time soon.

Oh and I am thinking about the next tatt I am going to get. It was originally going to be my wife and Superwoman tattooed. But I think now I just want another symbol of me. So I am thinking about Apocalypse with  the saying "Death is only the Beginning." I am still working on the words to be put around the pic though.